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"Charles, as Herodotus would say..." Bam! I slammed the door in her face. I couldn't take her fancy book learning anymore. Even with the door closed, she continued to prattle on about the Mediterranean and something stupid about Pelopponesiosiris or some shit. She had lured me in with an impressive resume of accomplishments, including a vaguely foreign accent. For that, I suppose I was to blame. Or I were to blame? Dammit, I can't compete! I returned days later having done a little research on my end. "First of all, my mother calls me Charles, not some dame, capiche?" "I know your mother doesn't call you some dame," she replied. What? Okay. I persevered: "You realize, of course, that the ancient Greeks idealized the male form. Women were nothing back then. Also, the men were permitted relations with other men. It was even glorified. I don't care so much about the second part. But do you get what I'm saying?" She nodded and then knelt down before me. "By the powers of Poseidon..." But I stopped. I was getting carried away. I couldn't remember the Greek word I had learned for swann anyway, and she was no Leda, the tramp. My member went soft.

Date Written: August 17, 2005
Author: Turgid
Average Vote: 3.125

Comments:
08/25/2005 The Rid: Good effort, but kinda gay.
08/25/2005 qualcomm: this could have been pretty good. anyway, now that the author queue promises a steady flow of quality shorts for the foreseeable future, i can treat guest shorts in the highhanded manner they deserve, without fear that someday, when the author well runs dry, i'll have to eat my words. fu, guest authors! the very thought of your idiot maunderings makes me want to vomit up the expensive foie gras from which the likes of i obtain sustenance! now if you'll excuse me, my pince nez needs adjustment, and my other hand is currently occupied in the decanting of a lovely '68 Petrus.
08/25/2005 Kenji X: Yeah, GAY! Ha ha! Gay is funny! And so is swann with two nnn's, hah! Congratulations, fucko! You win a free iPod! You can send free smileys with your free x-box to all your friends' free iPods!
08/25/2005 TheBuyer: oh hey, they still post Guest Shorts if there's something on the Front Page? That's really weird.
08/25/2005 TheBuyer (4): Big fat guest FOUR, you pellet-shitheeled kraut.
08/25/2005 The Rid: I think this short is better.
08/25/2005 Pushups: I think you need to give me 20. For starters!
08/25/2005 Mr. Pony: Kenji, what do you mean by that?
08/25/2005 The Rid (2): Sorry Pushups! I can only give you 2!
08/25/2005 Mr. Pony:
08/25/2005 Mr. Pony: I sort of see what the parts are doing, but I feel not a lot of effort to help me see, as a reader, what is going on in the whole.
08/25/2005 Kenji X: Mr. Pony, Thank you again for your concern. It's just something I picked up on the streets from the kids. You know, the slang and all the fresh, dope jazz, cat.
08/26/2005 Klause Muppet (3.5): Comment Comment Comment
08/26/2005 Litcube (3):