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Matt and Lynn had a session with Bill, their counselor. Outside his office, Lynn and Bill had a laugh.
"You two need to be working as a team," said Bill. "If you want to share your lives together like you say you do, then you have to put aside the petty stuff. I mean, you're going to move in together; that's a big step."
Lynn chimed in, "And maybe soon...." She held her hand down at her knees, tousling the hair of an invisible kid.
Matt, who had been silent until now, said, "But she's a fucking slut."
Lynn and Bill laughed.
"No, seriously, she fucked this total asshole who says things like, 'Now that I found God, colors are brighter and things taste better.'"
More laughter. "Next week," said Bill.
"Hey, wait a minute!" yelled Matt.
Date Written: August 29, 2005Comments:
Author: Mr. Negative
Average Vote: 4.25
09/8/2005 Will Disney: not sure if this one hits the bullseye for me, awther, but i liked the asshole's line.
09/8/2005 Mr. Pony (4):
09/8/2005 Will Disney: pony, please elaborate.
09/8/2005 Mr. Pony: I thought it was pretty funny, and I gave it four stars.
09/8/2005 Mr. Pony: Come to think of it, this kind of feels like a Disney short!
09/8/2005 qualcomm: yes, that's just what i thought
09/8/2005 Ewan Snow: Me too. I thought that too!
09/8/2005 Will Disney: hi, qualcomm!!!
09/8/2005 The Rid: I think it feels like a Disney short, too. And I *heart* Disney shorts!
09/8/2005 anonymous: Hey.
09/8/2005 anonymous: Been tryin' to meet you!
09/8/2005 Jawbreaker (4): I definitly chuckled at the end. "But she's a fucking slut..." Nice.
09/8/2005 Litcube (4.5): Aaahaha!
09/8/2005 Klause Muppet (4.5): Well done!
09/8/2005 Klause Muppet: how come we can't betvite this? did i miss the memo?
09/8/2005 Litcube: Dija get the memo?
09/9/2005 Will Disney: betvite was pukey yesterday for reason's unknown. working again though now.
09/9/2005 Poop: how come the rid didn't vote on this short?
09/9/2005 Poop: poop!
09/9/2005 The Rid: Poop, you should talk to Mr. Pony about that.
09/9/2005 Poop: Poop Mr. Pony poop.
09/9/2005 Mr. Pony: Poop, I think it's time for you to start talking, and by that I mean really speaking your mind and saying what you mean; not just saying your name over and over like an 80's cartoon character. (Even Snarf said his piece once in a while!) I think you'd be surprised to know that people would like to hear what you have to say.
09/9/2005 Poop: poop?
09/9/2005 Mr. Pony: I'm serious, Poop. I'm having a hard time believing that you are really so one-dimensional. Really, there's nothing to be afraid of. I know that inside that single joke, there's a bright, sensitive individual just bursting to get out.
09/9/2005 The Rid: Poop, for my part, Mr. Negative and The Rid have similar interests, so voting on one of his shorts seems...not right, much as I may want to 5-star it.
09/9/2005 Poop: Poopidy poop poop. Poopdoop.
09/9/2005 Jawbreaker: Poop, you stink!!!
09/9/2005 Mr. Pony: I'm just saying, Poop. If I were you, I'd start planning for the future. Saying only the word "poop" all the time may win you huge laughs from the studio audience for now, but even the richest vein is only so rich. What will you do when the fickle public latches on to a new catch-phrase?
09/9/2005 Cecum: Cecum!
09/9/2005 Mr. Pony: That's not a good example.
09/9/2005 Litcube: "Poopidy poop poop. Poopdoop." This is quite possibly one of the funniest things to happen to me within the past 56 hours.
09/9/2005 Poop: Mr. Pony, Pooping poop poo' poopstantial poopential. Poopondorous pooportion poop poo' poop, poopfore poops poop-poop-poop poopventure. Poop?
09/9/2005 Mr. Pony: Hey, suit yourself. Just trying to help out a member of the community (you).
09/9/2005 Poop: Poopreciate It.
09/9/2005 Jon Matza: There can never be enough of this joke.
09/9/2005 Jon Matza: [Matza regrets outburst, leaves party]