home authors guest shorts graphical shorts


"Would you like to know what the words to this song mean?" asks the Cab Driver. "Sure," I say. He sings along with the song in his native tongue and says, "My girl and I, we are so in love, it is a wonderful thing to be in love." He looks at me in the rearview mirror and smiles, then drums his fingers along the dash. "And we will fly to the moon and look at the stars, because we are in love with each other." Somehow I'm caught up in the whimsy of his delivery. The bright eyes dancing, the smile, even the crooked teeth are charming, and he laughs between lines. A violin tiptoes into the song and plays countermelody to the piano. He sings a few more lines and says, "We are so in love, we are dancing on the moon, and the stars light our way, and we make love with each other." He moves his head back and forth in time with the music, adjusting his glasses as they slip down his nose after an energetic air piano solo. The cab stops at the corner of 76th and Amsterdam. The Cab Driver turns the music down as he pushes the "Time Off" button. "That will be $5.70 for your singing cab driver," he says. I hand him a twenty through the partition. He squints at it and looks at me in the mirror. "And what is this?" he shouts, his demeanor changing in about half a second. "Always people giving me twenties! I start work today with $180 in singles, and now look!" He takes a wad of cash from his shirt pocket. "One, two, three...all twenty dollar bills!" "I--" "Only eleven singles! Am I a bank?" Very quietly, I say, "May I have twelve back, please?" He shoves some bills into my hand through the partition. I look at the cash and see that he's counted incorrectly, giving me fourteen. As God is my witness, I don't know what to do.

Date Written: September 11, 2005
Author: The Rid
Average Vote: 3.5

09/15/2005 qualcomm: enjoyable. the last line is a shame.
09/15/2005 Will Disney: Nice change of pace. Was this written by a chick? No offense, awther!
09/15/2005 Will Disney: looking at the betvite list, I'm guessing it was *not* written by a chick. double no offense, awther!
09/15/2005 Mr. Pony (4): I agree with qualcomm's assessment. +.5 in case, you know, a girl did write it.
09/15/2005 Dick Vomit: This feels like a diary entry! True story???!
09/15/2005 anonymous: Exaggerated story.
09/15/2005 Mr. Pony: An exaggerated true story, or an exaggerated fictional story?
09/15/2005 anonymous: Exaggerated true story.
09/15/2005 Dick Vomit: Yes. Yes, I see.
09/15/2005 anonymous: Exaggerated true story.
09/15/2005 Dick Vomit: Yes. Yes, I see.
09/15/2005 Litcube (4.5): Laughed all the way through the first few paragraphs. The way you described that cab driver and him singing his banal lyrics, but delivering it as if he's giving you a once in a lifetime opportunity at a unique cultural lesson. "We are in love so we do this, and we do it because we are in love! La la la! We are in looove." I don't know if I'm making any sense, but message is that this is osim. Also, not that anyone else besides Klause would agree with me, but I'm a huge fan of shorts that are plain silly! They don't even need to have a punchline! For me to orgasm, you didn't even need the last paragraph.
09/15/2005 qualcomm: author, where'd the cab pick you up?
09/15/2005 anonymous: 101st/Broadway.
09/15/2005 Dick Vomit: But Litcube, this is reportage. And I'm with you on the sillyness thing.
09/15/2005 qualcomm: and you're trying to give a $2.30 tip for driving you 30 blocks and berating you? you pussy.
09/15/2005 anonymous: Actually, no. This story is, as I told Pony earlier, an exaggeration.
09/15/2005 scoop: So wait, the tip was actually less?
09/15/2005 Dick Vomit: Way less, guy.
09/15/2005 Dick Vomit: And so also, the driver's native tongue is English? or were you, like, Babelfishin'?
09/15/2005 anonymous: He sang in his native tongue, and then would translate into English right after each line he sang, etc.
09/16/2005 Litcube: Rid, I want to ask you simple questions in real life, and see if you answer them as flat toned as I picture.
09/16/2005 Klause Muppet: Go ahead, Litcube. THE rid is listening.
09/17/2005 cuntry (1): Typical Rid Pablum
09/17/2005 itasta090 (3): I think I had that same cabbie...only he was singing "Lost in Your Eyes" by Debbie Gibson.
09/20/2005 Shane (5):