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The neothrim sheathing of Battle Cruiser Onassis shuddered violently as it punched through the Noen Field, the barrier demarking the deepest sphere of charted Milkspace. "Whoa!" cried Billy, yanking the big levers left and right, punching the big, silly buttons with his sticky palms.
"What was THAT?!" asked Suzy, who was crawling around beneath the console trying to work all the pedals.
"Wowzers, Sooze! I think we found a planetoid!"
"Let me see, let me see!"
They should probably give control back to the computer and let the ship return to its proper heading, Billy thought, cuz they were up way past their hybernation time. But Mommy and Daddy were in stasis, so maybe it was ok. They were big kids now, besides.
Suzy clambered on top of the console and pressed her face to the glass. Her hands left sticky smears of chocolate and caramel in falling arcs. "Look!" Billy shouted again. "It's inhabited also!"
"Zap it, zap it!"
"I dunno...we should be in stasis, Sooze."
"Will you tell me about sex if I do it?"
Billy's flat top haircut stood on end. "Come on, Sooze. I'm in 4th grade."
"Um... umm... um.... OKAY!"
"Okay, okay. You put your peener in a lady's butt and then you make a pee inside, and that's where babies come from!"
"Sooze!" Sweat formed on his ruddy brow, and Billy felt funny. The sweat streamed over his freckled applecheeks. "Gosh!" He swallowed hard. "You--"
"Zap 'em, Billy!"
Date Written: September 14, 2005Comments:
Author: Dick Vomit
Average Vote: 3.875
09/16/2005 Will Disney: This one was a little trauma inducing. I like the names, however!
09/16/2005 Ewan Snow (3): If the site supported half stars, I'd probably give this a 3.5. Even though I wrote this, I'm not that crazy about it. Starts off better than it ends.
09/16/2005 proteus: Kelly? Darling?
09/16/2005 proteus: Eliza: ?
09/16/2005 Eliza (): Is that okay with you?
09/16/2005 proteus: Eliza: I need you to do something for me.
09/16/2005 Eliza (): I think that's true.
09/16/2005 scoop: I don't know about this one. It seems like a Snow rip off.
09/16/2005 Klause Muppet (4): Tell me more about Billy feeling "funny".
09/16/2005 Litcube (4.5): Not sure I agree with you, Snow. This seems pretty consistent to me - Consistently funny! But I would say that this is definitely winner of "Best Short Setup" this month. Congratulations, you're a winner!
09/16/2005 Ewan Snow: Uh, okay, dude. Like, WHATEVER!
09/16/2005 Dick Vomit: Eww, you guys! Fighting is so gross.
09/16/2005 Klause Muppet: oh oh, fight me, fight me
09/20/2005 scoop: Hey Snow, I don't get it. Why did you write this under your Dick Vomit alias?
09/20/2005 TheBuyer (4): I forgot that I enjoyed this. Thank you scoop for drawing attention to my error.
09/20/2005 Ewan Snow: Scoop: cuz it sucked.
09/20/2005 Dick Vomit: Ewan Snow! That hurts!
09/20/2005 Ewan Snow: Forgive me, forgive me. I mean, it doesn't really suck, per se. It was more "so so", I guess, but that wouldn't have made a very pithy response to scoop, now, would it (have)?
09/20/2005 Dick Vomit: I suppose not, Count Cuntulus.
09/20/2005 Jon Matza: Frankenlenny!
09/20/2005 Ewan Snow: huh?
09/20/2005 Jon Matza: Listen to the mp3 and you will discover the righteousness of my thought process.