home authors guest shorts graphical shorts


I'm so sick of twins. It's so played out. Am I the only one? Of course I'm not. "Hey, why do you guys wear the same clothes?" "Oh, are you guys completely identical? (Snicker)." Also, the concept of banging two identical sisters is very blase. It's very Caligula, really. (The Guccione version.) I once knew these guys who won a scholarship because they were twins. I once knew these twins -- and for some reason one of the guys was three inches taller (!) -- that did used car commercials in my hometown. I actually thought that was a little sad -- that one of the twins wasn't given enough to eat growing up and/or didn't put a high priority on personal fitness/greatness (as I have). How about a twin bill? Well, Sir, do I get to pay just once? Even though the second movie isn't very good? "No, sir, I'm afraid not." I'm afraid you are a douche. Twin carbine engines. The Minnesota Twins. Oh -- the Twin Cities then -- that's pretty stupid. Why don't you put some twin dollars together and double your money and buy back that horrendous hockey team that migrated to Dallas, you queens. The concept of doubles is actually much cooler, and less fey. You get rhymes with "Double Trouble," you get Acclaim's Double Dragon (and that movie with the midget from Party of Five never happened, by the way)...you even get Double D's! You see what I'm talking 'bout? Also, "Double my pleasure." Doublemint gum. "On the double." "Give me a double." It's endless, really.

Date Written: September 30, 2005
Author: Turgid
Average Vote: 2.5

10/3/2005 Streifenbeuteldachs: Hmm, that's not a definition of fey I'm familiar with.
10/3/2005 qualcomm:
10/3/2005 Litcube: Oh, dude.
10/3/2005 Litcube (2.5): I'm not a big fan of rants in general, and this one makes me feel ok for not liking rants in general on account of me not liking it (too much). Welcome back, Striefen. Where you been?
10/3/2005 anonymous: Dudes...not much participation on this site recently. Dudes.
10/3/2005 Dylan Danko: Most of us are jews and therefore preparing for atonement.
10/3/2005 anonymous: Isn't everyone celebrating Ramadan?
10/3/2005 anonymous: Insane (Majnun) The insane or retarded person is not obligated to keep his fast because he is deprived of sanity, a key component on which religious duties depend. In a hadith related by Ali Bin Abi Talib (raa), the Messenger of Allah (saas) said: "The Pen that records the deeds has been lifted from three people; the insane person, until he recovers; the sleeping person, until he wakes up; and the minor, until he dreams (i.e., has wet dreams.)" (Ahmed) so most of you get a free pass.
10/3/2005 Streifenbeuteldachs (3): I enjoy a good rant, but this was average.
10/4/2005 Klause Muppet: Turgid? Turgid?
10/4/2005 Turgid: Yes?
10/4/2005 Klause Muppet: Hey guy!
10/4/2005 Turgid: Hey there.
10/4/2005 Litcube: Hi guys.
10/4/2005 scoop (2): Here is an identical pair for you, guy.
10/4/2005 Litcube: Ah ha ha!