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Consuelo, Chapstick Boy, Mr Muffins and the rest of Terri the Turtle's Adventure Clan were stealing bubblegum from the Piggly Wiggly while Terri bagged groceries. Consuelo somehow opened a can of peaches with her teeth and poured the syrup onto the floor. Terri cried and cried at the loss of the syrup. The manager sadly was forced to fire Terri for the waste of all that good syrup. But Terri just dried his eyes, glared at the manager and said, "No, I rather fancy you won't be firing me, Carl." On sale this week at Piggly Wiggly: - Lamb Shanks $3.49 / lb - Hillshire Farm Cheddar Wurst 2 / $6 - Northland Cranberry Juice $3.29 / 64 oz. bottle - Post Shredded Wheat 4 / $10 - Pillsbury All Ready Rolled Pie Crust $1.99 - Food Club French Onion Chip Dip $1.19

Date Written: January 05, 2007
Author: blow-up
Average Vote: 3.25

01/5/2007 Litcube (3): Thundering gayness.
01/5/2007 anonymous: Acme Lessons in How to Write Funny, Funny Comedy
Lesson #648: Formula Fiction

A comedy short follows a standard formula just like any of your bread-and-butter genres. Let's take apart this particular short to examine its inner machinery and see how the elements work together to make it one of the funniest shorts ever written!

1) Americans have never heard of cricket. Already funny.

2) Cricket is a gay sport. Only gays play it -- that is, the English. Oh, and all their non-kickass-revolution colonies.

3) It's easier to dump on gays than admit that I dance alone to Air Supply's "All Out of Love" with tears in my eyes. ("I" in the metaphorical sense.)

4) The author obviously exudes the musky scent of girthy power tools and dog-eared issues of Hustler.

5) That Geoffry is such a fruitloop. So why did they give him one of those slick telephone headsets, and I still have to pick up the phone with my hands like some retarded monkey? And then that other fairy Ray got the BIG cubicle when it was up for grabs. What is this, Pansy Incorporated?
01/17/2007 Klause Muppet (3.5): Take that Litcube!