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I ordered another Dust Cloud as the Xylopod next to me fiddled with his hover-coaster. “I know plenty of Two-Eyes,” he said, “You don’t have to tell me.” “I’m not a ‘Two Eye’,” I explained. “Now I’m new to this sector and I’ve never met one, but from what I’ve heard, so called ‘Two Eyes’ evolved from clams on Necrania 5. I am a terra-sapiens, or human. We evolved from apes on Sol 3. There’s a big fucking difference” The Xylopod waved his flipper dismissively. “Not to me, there’s not. Bilateral symmetry, two eyes in front, fur on top, blah, blah, blah. You all look the same.” “You know, it’s that very attitude that’s caused so much trouble in the Glandula System,” I said. “To think, you confuse a fucking clam head for a classy terra-sapiens like me.” I took a snort of my Dust Cloud and was about to order another, when I realized the Xylopod was hovering above me, shaking with rage. “Those ‘fucking clam-heads’ are my wives!” he screamed. “Perhaps you’d like to step out into the vacuum and settle this like a Xylopod.” I think I had one too many Dust Clouds, because the room felt like it was spinning. Or was that just our orbit? “Cool off your thrusters, flipper boy, I’m just saying we humans are a class act. Didn’t mean any offence.” The Xylopod floated back down to his stool. A moment later a dozen of his wives wandered in. So these were clam heads, huh? Not bad. To a human, they didn’t look quite right, what with the tits on the back and all. But they was close enough for me, especially since I hadn’t seen a female terra-sapiens in years. “Hey buddy, mind if I mate with your wives?” I asked. “Now you’re talking sense,” he said, and so we all went to the insemination lounge for a quiet evening together.
Date Written: February 21, 2007
Author: Ewan Snow
Average Vote: 3.875