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When Osama Knocked a Mother Out He came out fighting. He had been holed up in his Riyadh spiderhole. Amazingly Osama bin Laden mowed thru the ham-and-eggers, earning the European Open, a Bronze in the Pan-American Games. Defeated Mike Tyson in an Atlantic City exhibition bout, Tanya Harding in an Arkansas Ice Skate Whoop'em Death Match, R.I.P. Technical loss to de la Hoya on a biting foul; Hulk Hogan in the hospital. Bounty Hunter guy, same thing. Took down The Undertaker; Harley Race, out of mothballs, went down in shameful submission to the Camel Clutch. When he subdued Joyce Gracie in Ultimate Combat #53, the 'Terrorist Tangle', I had no choice but to come out of retirement. You see, I was in the Olympic trials, 1968. Badmitten Semifinals, no shit. I hit him so hard on the jaw that one of his eyes popped out and he had to buy an eyepatch. Jab, jab, stick. Hook to the short ribs. When I beat the shit out of him Bush vomited out of Osama's spider hole. From Bush's child-bearing ladyhole came the O'Clinton/Hillibama twins, past heavy petting now, lip-locked, grafted, mewing, pooping, and peeing. Sweet, said Osama.
Date Written: December 17, 2007
Author: Master Bates
Average Vote: 4