home authors guest shorts graphical shorts

AcmeShorts

Jack Sapien, Head of Central American Financial Risk Assessment at Kemper Peat Marwick Group, burst into the pup tent. Inside, Gertruth was getting her tits plowed by Richard Grieco.

"Oh, I can't believe it, it's true," moaned Sapien, burying his well-crafted face in his hands. "I'm so disappointed in you."

His shoulders shuddered spasmodically. Between Sapien's feet, Grieco slithered naked out of the tent.

"Oh baby," said Gertruth, "Please... I'm sorry... I never meant to hurt you... don't cry..."

But Sapien wasn't crying. He was chuckling, chuckling the kind of manly chuckle that only someone named Jack Sapien could pull off.

"How can you be so stupid?" he asked. "Don't you know how to have an affair? You left clues all over the place!"

He held up the post-it note from the kitchen, the one on which she had written "Mrs. Gertruth Grieco" several times. Then he pulled out his cell phone and dialed the office.

"Jeanie? Sapien here. Yeah. I need you to put out a press release pronto: "Jack Sapien Single Again. Questions Propriety of Spending Night Alone." That's right, all the major outlets. Thanks, babe."

Date Written: July 21, 2003
Author: qualcomm
Average Vote: 4

Comments:
07/21/2003 anonymous (5):
02/19/2004 Ewan Snow (5): The punchline is first rate. It's amazing, by the way, how many of our old ones have no comments/votes. Or if they do it's just some putz giving it one star anonymously...
04/14/2004 Ferucio P. Chhretan (4):
04/14/2004 scoop (4): It surprised me when I saw the word count on this bad boy. It feels a lot longer, but in a good way. From a high powered Financial Interests to the simple domesticity of a post-it note, The Lerpa really takes us on satisfying emotional journey. By the way, does anyone remember Richard Grieco's solo show he got in the heady wake of 21 Jump Street? I watched the season premiere, a shameless rip off of Die Hard, because I'm an ass hole.
12/23/2009 Jimson S. Sorghum (3): One of the author's lesser works. Seems a little obvi by qualcomm standards.
12/23/2009 qualcomm: joke's on you, jimson, i disavowed this pos during the bush administration! LLLOOOOLLLL!!!1 hey, scoop, nice taste, ass hole! fu, snow!