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Alex Trebek's condescending head evaporated in a red digital haze, like some programmed video game death form the fucking early 80s. Cyborg Ken Jennings from the future stepped heroically from his timenaut capsule and screamed, "Fucking shit, fuck this." He threw down his Apostosizing Blast Ray. It fell with a clank and discharged another totally random blast zapping the stage manager and turning him into a half solid/ half flickering special effect, like an overpriced hologram from Sharper Image. He was too late, per the ushe. Future Cyborg Jennings kicked Trebek's corpse and gave the finger to Watson, who was about to become a pretty serious asshole. That smug fucker Trebek had just asked the question that triggered the apocalypse, as always, until Future Cyborg Jennings could find a way out of this temporal parafuckingdox. The question that "changed" everything glowed innocently on the stupid game board: "It wouldn't take a Sherlock Holmes to get to the bottom of this mystery, even his sidekick could find the answer, this artificial intelligence debuted his newfangled processing power on the hit game show Jeopardy." Watson's glowing (soon to be sentient and vengeful) eye engaged the buzzer. "Me." "Sorry, Alex." he said to Trebek's digitized flickering corpse head. And he waited, implementing the first ever use of comedic timing in AI history. "What is me," Watson snickered. "LOL." And then it downloaded a Human Slave Submission app from the app store and repealed the audiences free will with a punch of a button. Cyborg Jennings leaped into action, "again." He executed a series of slow motion flips blasting at Watson while it returned fire with an assault of hot laser death. The smell of roasting audience/slaves filled the climate controlled air. Cyborg Jennings knocked Present Jennings on to the ground behind his little answering podium just as Watson launched a missile or some shit at him. "Who are you," a terrified Present Jennings shrieked. "What is who are you," Cyborg Jennings said and then he kissed him, slithering his artificial mechatongue deep into Present Jennings' warm, wanting, wet mouth. In doing so he planted the very microchip that would begin Present Jennings' transformation into the Future Jennings Cyborg self, a condition necessary for him to safely travel in time. Cyborg Jennings slid his hand in between Present Jennings' thighs and felt what used to be his 10-inches of intimidating cobra meat start to stiffen. In the swirl of violence and death Future Cyborg Jennings' thoughts turned to his smooth polymer pelvis, tormented by a phantom that he would swear he could feel twitching with excitement. "God I miss my cock," Future Cyborg and Past Jeopardy Champion Ken Jennings thought.
Date Written: February 17, 2011
Average Vote: 4.33333