home authors guest shorts graphical shorts

AcmeShorts

ďI want em dead! Do you understand me? All of Ďem! I heard you were a guy I could talk to. Who got things done. All 6 of them. Iím done with this bullshit. Gimme a break. That is SO fucking bullshit. At first all I wanted was for them to love me, you know? Coz thatís just the kind of guy I am. But now? Fuck it! I'm gettin' what's mine, you know what Iím saying? Can I help it if thatís the way I feel? NO! Itís not like I donít deserve it. Fuck Ďem. I mean kill Ďem. And you better do a good job. Stagger the shit so the guests donít get any ideas. You know? Are you gonna eat that? God knows I fucking tried with these cunts. My last one was even some surreal crap coz some of the douche bags like that. I made a couple literay ones to satisfy their fucking egos and shit. Fucking fonnet! Ok I get it! I donít need all the commentary you fucking douche! I even tried making one philosophical and shit for the piano player, he likes the Germans you know. But NO! Bastards even rigged the shit! I mean come on! One dude gets all fives and no comments. What? Who gives a five and doesnít comment on it? I mean maybe once, the guy who wrote it. I mean, sure thatís understandable. You vote for your own shit, you know? But ALL THREE?? Nice fucking try! What? Do they think Iím fucking retarded? It doesnít matter, Iím through with it. No details. My hands stay clean. You know what Iím saying? Itís a matter of principle and shit. So what do you think? Huh? Make it nice and smooth and Iíll give you a free account. Iíll even put you in charge of the fucking guests. They're next on my list of cunts I hate! You gonna eat that?Ē

Date Written: August 10, 2003
Author: Dylan Danko
Average Vote: 4.1667

Comments:
08/10/2003 anonymous (5):
08/10/2003 anonymous (5):
08/24/2003 Ewan Snow (4): This should have been titled the "The Pussy Monologue."
08/24/2003 Dylan Danko: Ok, ok, I take it back about the homo thing.
08/24/2003 Will Disney: i mean, sure, feldspar thinks you're fucking retarded. i can't say that i agree with him. also, that orchid short was damn good.
08/25/2003 Dylan Danko: Will, I'm sure you caught my reference to you in here, right?
08/25/2003 Will Disney: was it when you said "cunt"?
08/25/2003 Dylan Danko: Sorry, references.
08/27/2003 Phony Millions (4): Raving. But also lucid. Of course you stoked all our egos with your references.
03/11/2004 scoop (4): This needs to be updated to account for certain developments. Danko, make it so.
05/24/2004 TheBuyer (3): Tough talk for someone who has VANISHED. heh...vainisher.