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If it wasn't one thing, it was the other.

"There are no winners in this world. Only survivors," he muttered to himself.

If it wasn't the dull, humorless pain inflicted upon his genital region by the thick plastic wiffle ball bat of one Billy The Batsman (as Billy brazenly referred to himself, almost haphazardly at times to the detriment of his popularity, unaware, in fact, that these bat 'antics' were really not enhancing his popularity among his school chums, most of whom would grow into mediocrity, slowly, unaware, until later in life feeling a particular type of dejection [from years of unsatisfactory living] not unlike the dull pain invoked by Billy's bat), it was the humiliation awaiting him at the doctor's office, at which time he would need to painstakingly delineate the place where it hurt, unable to merely avoid the jaundiced eye of soon-to-be-retired Dr. Oglethorpe, who had little interest in decoding the latest slang in an effort to properly do his job. "Junk" was the slang - for this was the 2000's.

Date Written: November 20, 2003
Author: Texxx
Average Vote: 3

11/20/2003 anonymous (1):
11/20/2003 Will Disney (4): excellent!
12/1/2003 Noah Simple (4): This piece hit me like a raucous shock to the genitals. One of the more refreshing uses of the parenthetical ever.