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“Coup D’Tocqueville knew all the angles, so when he plopped into Twiggy’s chop shop and hipped us to a line on a hot truckload of merkins1, there wasn’t a dry crotch in the house. Of course Coup’s also a double-crosser so I wasn’t gonna toss dice on a job like that. I packed plenty of heat, enough lead to poison a high-rise project full of babies. And it was a good thing too cuz the fuckin’ merkins turned out to be douche wigs2, so I had to aerate the guy’s innards for him. But enough about me. Tell me about yourself, Celeste. For instance, Do you put out on the first date?” I could tell the broad was impressed, real impressed.
1. Merkin - 'm&r-k&n (noun) counterfeit hair for women's privy parts, 1680 OED
2. douche wig - meaning unkown
Date Written: December 03, 2003
Author: Ewan Snow
Average Vote: 4
As for the other two points:
1) Yes, I tend to ruin shorts with poorly conceived conclusions. I even sort of know it while I'm doing it, but somehow can't stop myself. This is a fundamental character flaw that my therapist and I are working on.
2) The tough guy voice is just one of many well trod short-short sub-genres, related to noir I guess. The earliest known example, though it’s not fully formed in this one, is probably here.
12/4/2003 Benny Maniacs (4): Four and a half - fucking good footnote mechanism.