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"Any jackass can get a 30 year fixed at 5.75 per cent", exclaimed the managing director.

"I'm a good person!", shot back Shelly,"and besides, you're just worried about your fucking override. Me, I've got mouths to feed and bills to pay."

"Well, then how about a pair of tickets for tonight's Rangers game at the Garden; center ice, lower level premium seats, baby!"

"Hmmm", thinks Shelly, "I can put these on EBay and get $300 for them easy...that'll buy a shitload of Infamil..."

"On second thought, fuck that!", barked Williamson, "When I gave you those REO Speedwagon tickets back in the summer, you hawked them on Craig's List and got my chestnuts put to the fire by the CFO, when the cretins you sold them to molested his daughters throughout the entire Kansas set! And for what, to load up on Pampers and Flavor Ices at the Sam's Club?!! No thanks, Bud, I like my position here at the firm."

"Aw, shit".

Date Written: December 08, 2003
Author: Mr. Joshua
Average Vote: 4.5

12/9/2003 Will Disney: aw shit is right.
12/9/2003 Mr. Joshua: Mr. Joshua renounces this short
01/28/2004 scoop: Listen pal, you renounce this short and I'm going to Mitch and Muarry. No, fuck that. I'll take it straight to Lemkin! I don't care whose cousin you are. No really, I don't.
02/3/2004 Ewan Snow: The best part about this short is how the guy molested the CFO's daughter "throughout the entire Kansas set!"
01/28/2005 Cyrus: no I won't no way
03/18/2009 scoop (4.5): Buddy, this might be your best opening line of all your shorts. And Shel's response is wonderfully pathetic. I think I'm going to use that line in more arguments.