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Farnsworth took advantage of the lull in the dinner party conversation to steer the discourse toward his favorite topic: Anal Hygiene. "Swinburne", he bellowed, "Swinburne, if some rake approached you in the street, and smeared shit on your forearm, or in your hair, what would you do? I dare say you would avail yourself of the nearest douche and have a proper shower. Am I wrong? You wouldn't simply wad up some toilet paper and wipe the feces from your arm, or out of your hair. And yet, every day, we move our bowels, and from the flesh, membrane and hair which surround our anuses we remove the attendant fecal matter with mere toilet paper. This", concluded Farnsworth with a valedictory air, "is why I shave my asshole."

Date Written: December 09, 2003
Author: Mr. Joshua
Average Vote: 4.75

Comments:
12/9/2003 anonymous (3):
12/9/2003 qualcomm (5): splendid
12/9/2003 anonymous (5): This is good. I cannot say any more than this for fear of...
12/10/2003 cuntry (4): brilliant use of the word douche
12/10/2003 Will Disney: yeah - this is a pretty good one. very traditional too.
12/10/2003 Ewan Snow: It is good, but it's sort of funny that Disney admires it for being "traditional." I guess he's right, though...
05/20/2004 John Slocum (5): what the Lerpa said
07/23/2004 Mr. Pony (5): Indeed.
07/23/2004 TheBuyer (5): (no comment)
07/25/2004 scoop (5): "and from the flesh, membrane and hair which surround our anuses" - boss line.
10/30/2004 The Rid (5): Priceless.
10/30/2004 Litcube (5):
01/31/2005 Cyrus (5): Swinburne is a righteous name.
01/31/2005 The Rid: I love this effing short.
03/4/2008 Dylan Danko (5): This get's a 5 for the consistency of the authorial vision.
11/16/2009 scoop: Never has an artist who has been so obsessed with his own ass hole remained so grounded.