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Jeremy Cohen had used his computer to surf the internet, and surfing the internet, he had used the pornography he found hidden in its depths to stimulate blood flow to his penis, ie to form an erection. Masturbation tended to follow, but only about 100% of the time.
But Jeremy grew increasingly dissatisfied with this sequence of events that ended so coldly. When he was done masturbating (he always knew when he was done masturbating), the computer that led to the seemingly inevitable sequence of events would blink lifelessly back at him, like a pachinko machine after the last ball had sunk out of sight.
He wanted more. Placing his lips over his electronic mouse, Jeremy Cohen began consummating his affair with his dual Athlon 2.3 GHz Personal Computer, with 1GB of DDR SDRAM and on-board L2 Cache. Letting his penis do the talking, he inserted it vigorously into the hard drive, pumping over and over again letting his sperm wash over his motherboard, and like the mating of a black widow, destroyed his computer even as he imbued it with undying love.
Date Written: December 11, 2003
Author: Noah Simple
Average Vote: 4.125