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"Barkeep, a bottle of your cheapest champagne!", Lipshitz hollered to the surly libationist. A connoisseur of life's not so finest off-brand goods - he would condescend only to consume double malt whisky, sardines tinned in bilge and dented-can, botulism-ridden vegetables - Lipshitz insisted on treating his guests to the finest non-vintage bubbly that Reims had to offer.
But here's where the narrative takes an unusual twist, dear reader.
For just as the parsimonious kike ordered the rotgut petillance, who should enter the premises but the loathsome Count de ________, long presumed to have perished at Austerlitz during the ill-fated charge of the ______th regimental cavalry. Lipshitz froze with terror, just as he had on that fateful day in Austria, when the Napoleonic hordes descended upon him and his hapless company.
The Count confidently ordered a 40 of Olde English, and Lipshitz had no choice but to skulk away in defeat yet again.

Date Written: December 31, 2003
Author: Mr. Joshua
Average Vote: 4.2857

01/5/2004 Texxx (4): I really appreciate all the ______'s.
01/5/2004 qualcomm (4): yeah, that's a good one.
01/5/2004 Benny Maniacs (4): Mr. Joshua is a new voice speaking in a large space full of other, less recent voices; mostly everyone is writing in this space though, not talking.
01/5/2004 Will Disney (4): Does Lipshitz know Spud Rogen?
04/23/2004 John Slocum (5): An extra star because I'm confident you would correctly pronounce 'Reims' if called upon to do so.
04/23/2004 qualcomm: if you think about, the twist the narrative takes isn't all that unusual
01/14/2005 TheBuyer (4): ha!
01/31/2005 Cyrus (5): Olde English. Best served warm.