home authors guest shorts graphical shorts
"Barkeep, a bottle of your cheapest champagne!", Lipshitz hollered to the surly libationist. A connoisseur of life's not so finest off-brand goods - he would condescend only to consume double malt whisky, sardines tinned in bilge and dented-can, botulism-ridden vegetables - Lipshitz insisted on treating his guests to the finest non-vintage bubbly that Reims had to offer.
But here's where the narrative takes an unusual twist, dear reader.
For just as the parsimonious kike ordered the rotgut petillance, who should enter the premises but the loathsome Count de ________, long presumed to have perished at Austerlitz during the ill-fated charge of the ______th regimental cavalry. Lipshitz froze with terror, just as he had on that fateful day in Austria, when the Napoleonic hordes descended upon him and his hapless company.
The Count confidently ordered a 40 of Olde English, and Lipshitz had no choice but to skulk away in defeat yet again.
Date Written: December 31, 2003
Author: Mr. Joshua
Average Vote: 4.2857