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I was walking along the banks of the Seine, or the quais, as theyíre called, or alternately, the keys. Under the Pont des Arts, I ran into a hunch-backed figure. It was fucking Quasimodo. I kicked him into the Seine. He couldnít swim - that son of a bitch.
I could hear people following me. I moved along the banks. I saw a sickly woman sitting on a bench. It was Marie Curie. She threw up on the cobblestone at her feet. She had radiation poisoning, that poor bastard.
The crowd was gaining on me. I broke into a trot, and then a run. I saw Notre Dame on the horizon. She was oldest bitch of them all. I ran to her. I saw Clovis standing there in front me, like a vision.
ďI donít even know who the fuck you are, Clovis,Ē I told him.
He smiled at me. That fucker didnít even speak English. He didnít know what I was saying to him.
I kept running toward Notre Dame. Itís white facade grew and grew and filled my field of vision. The sounds of the crowd faded away.
Date Written: January 06, 2004Comments:
Author: Will Disney
Average Vote: 4.0625
01/12/2004 Texxx (5): Quasimodo is a son-of-a-bitch.
01/13/2004 Will Disney: one comment for this mini-masterpiece!
01/13/2004 qualcomm: never mind that shit. look at this.
01/13/2004 Texxx: Yeah. This just isn't right, Disney. Where's the love?
01/13/2004 Will Disney: huh?
01/13/2004 qualcomm: i like this one, but i'm withholding a vote because i think the ending sucks. not sure yet if it ruins it down to a three or a four.
01/13/2004 Will Disney: four!
01/13/2004 qualcomm (4): ok. from now on i'm going to let people grade their own shorts through me. tell me what you think you deserve.
01/13/2004 Will Disney: yay!
01/13/2004 Texxx: Disney, I was backing you. When I asked about 'the love,' I was referring to the lack of praise.
01/13/2004 Will Disney: yay!
01/14/2004 Dolemite (3): The only thing I hate more than France is a Francophile.
01/16/2004 anonymous (5): This short is hysterical.
Will Disney wrote, "I saw a sickly woman sitting on a bench. It was Marie Curie. She threw up on cobblestone at her feet. She had radiation poisoning, that poor bastard."
What an image.
01/16/2004 Jon Matza (2): Overrated - sorry, that's my honest opinion, Disney's self-promotional hyperbole aside. I might give it a three but a) I'd like to see the cumulative score reflect the actual value and b) it makes up for a recent Disney short I gave three but thought deserved two. Anonymous: thanks for specifying who the author was. Can you tell us what else he wrote?
01/16/2004 Will Disney: Well, everyone's entitled to their own opinion. I respectfully disagree!
01/16/2004 anonymous: f u matza!
01/16/2004 anonymous: oh wait, i thought you only gave me one star, not two. i take back that f u. signed, umm, anonymous.
01/16/2004 Ewan Snow: I think the first paragraph is excellent. Second is ok. Third is good. Fouth is very good. Fifth is so-so. Sixth is useless. If anybody else would like my valuable services as paragrph rater, you know where to find me.
01/21/2004 tankini (5): I like it!
07/29/2010 Jon Matza: 3.5 or even 4 were I to rate it now. Oh that we could turn back the sands of the hourglass, eh Dis?
07/29/2010 Will Disney: Thanks for reminding me about this one. I forgot about it. *Still* like the last paragraph! I would change the second "Seine" to "river" though.
08/2/2010 Mr. Pony (4): This does that thing that I like about Disney's shorts: a tempest; a beige, impossibly bland tempest raging just beneath the surface.
08/2/2010 qualcomm: that's what i like best about disney's facebook updates.
08/3/2010 Marvin_Bernstein (4.5): good but intellectuall for this group
08/11/2010 scoop: I get it now. Marvin is Texx. That explains it. Stupidity so unique can't be the product of coincidence.
08/16/2010 Marvin_Bernstein: edit some of the words and I will up the rating on mine
08/16/2010 Marvin_Bernstein: whats a Texx
08/18/2010 Marvin_Bernstein: b larrrgh I cant remove comments here~!