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Thank you for your generous donation! Iím sure it was the best you could do. Thank you!
You know, elections are about trust. So are marriages. Can I trust my wife? You bet I can. Can my wife trust me? No, she cannot! Oh, shit, she cannot.
If elected (or should I say, Ďwhen electedí?), Iíll do my best to fight for you Ė the little guy. I am not kidding. I will kill anyone who gets in our way! I will fucking kill them! In fact, thatís how Iíll use the $10 you sent me Ė to buy a towel to wipe the blood off my face after Iíve ripped out the entrails of our enemies with my bare teeth.
My opponent wants to lower commercial real estate taxes. You see? I will rip out his fucking entrails. Goddammit, I will dry them in the sun! YESSSS!
You know, I often think back to my childhood. Life was so simple back then. I remember once I was struck - by a bat. I think this was at my house. God, yes, it was. It was awful, actually. It was terrifying.
Come on, buddy, shine a little light on my darkness. Iím counting on your vote.
Date Written: January 13, 2004
Author: Will Disney
Average Vote: 4.42857