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Jimmy quickly unzipped his pants and settled into his blue leather recliner. The foot rest shot out with a flip of a lever, and he was in position. Grabbing hold of his erect man rod, his preparations were complete. The “X-Play” Season Pass on his TiVo kicked in and automatically tuned to TechTV.

“…ladies and gentleman, Adam Sessler and Morgan Webb!”

Morgan Webb. There she was. His videogame goddess. Oh how her talent and beauty had blossomed since her days on “The Screen Savers”. Now she was a host of her very own show. A show about video games no less.

Jimmy fervently stroked the veiny pole betwixt his legs knowing full well the sight of Webb’s heaving bosom would soon be replaced by a boring review of “Deus Ex: Invisible War”.

But it was too late. The review had already begun, and for all his efforts, Jimmy sported a mere semi. Adam Sessler’s hideous maw had foiled his masturbatory fantasy. The sight of the socially-challenged spiky-haired host standing next to his flaxen-haired modern-day geek Aphrodite simply proved too distracting to properly climax.

Chaffed and downtrodden, Jimmy returned to his regular masturbation routine: Playing “Dead or Alive: XTreme Beach Volleyball” with one hand.

Date Written: January 15, 2004
Author: Dolemite
Average Vote: 3.75

01/22/2004 Texxx (4): I hope never to hear the phrase 'veiny pole' ever again.
01/22/2004 anonymous (4): This seems awfully familiar!
01/22/2004 Benny Maniacs (3): I suppose I didn't really get all the subreferences, but I did think it was a cool intro for a lengthier work, where all this stuff would become clear. Could also use some subtext.
01/22/2004 Will Disney: What about that chick on the Weather Channel? She's hot, sometimes, i guess, if you're on a business trip...
01/22/2004 Will Disney: why don't you admit it, texxx? you hope you *do* hear it again!
01/23/2004 Joseph Keith: maw is jusat so underused. :)
01/25/2004 Dolemite: I guess my references were too obscure for this short to be universally appreciated. I should have written about the host of Starcade, Jeff Edwards. He's so dreamy... *sigh*
01/26/2004 Will Disney: i got the references. not proud about that. got 'em, though.
03/26/2004 Dolemite: http://www.playboy.com/features/features/techtv/
06/18/2004 Dolemite: Mmmmmmm...
01/20/2005 Litcube (4): Maybe I shouldn't say this, but DX:IW was considerably worse than this short.