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“And we’ll have midget jousting, midget bowling, midget wrestling, a midget bar with tiny stools, and I definitely want a midget shot out of a cannon.”

“So, we are talking about a two day midget carnival”

“Exactly! I plan on keeping it quiet, only inviting roughly 50 people. I figure we’ll need about 24 midgets, and some Shetland ponies (the ponies are for the jousting of course).”

“That’s almost a midget for every two attendees.”

“It will be carefully orchestrated. The midget bowling is where the big numbers come in. Two lanes, ten midget ‘pins’, two midget ‘bowling balls’ (they are duct taped so they can’t move and pushed down the hill into the ‘pins’), and two midget referees. The rest of the time we won’t need as many midgets; however, they will be busy serving drinks, giving blow jobs (standing up of course), and any other tasks I see fit to bestow upon them.”

“Are you making fun of me?”

“What in god’s name are you talking about? I’m planning my midget carnival. Haven’t you been listening?”

“You are making fun of my height, and it's not funny.”

“Dude, you’re like five foot even, that is a good foot and a half taller than any midget that will be working my carnival. If this is your pathetic excuse to squeeze a weekend’s pay out of me, you are talking to the wrong Midget Carnival Planner.”

Date Written: January 27, 2004
Author: senator
Average Vote: 3.875

02/3/2004 Texxx (4): That guy's no midget. He's like a dwarf, or something.
02/3/2004 Will Disney (4): yeah, i like this one.
02/3/2004 Benny Maniacs (3): If I could give it three and a half (ahem Disney) I would. Like it except the idea of midget jokes seem a little hacknied. Iowno.
02/3/2004 senator: Ben, for the record the first day I ever laid eyes on this site was the 27th of January. The same day this was submitted. I just ran a search for midgets and came up empty. I'd like to read some shorts on midgets, right after I fuck the one tied up in closet.
02/4/2004 Lenny (4): Senator, I feel this is a great short. Even better than the bullemia one - and I really liked that, too. The last paragraph is what sold me. Plus, there's a Hunter S. Thompson quality to the dialogue throughout the whole short that I happen to love. Well done.
04/13/2004 Ferucio P. Chhretan (4): It was time to collect the knives.
05/24/2004 TheBuyer (4):
02/15/2005 The Rid (4): This short would rate a five if it weren't for the parentheticals. Thanks for the "Searching for Acme" link, Disney!
02/15/2005 John Slocum (4):