home authors guest shorts graphical shorts
“What are you thinking about?”
[I'M THINKING ABOUT HOW I'M GOING TO KILL YOU.]
“What? You’re going to kill me?”
"Oh my god! Why are you whispering those awful things?"
And you know what? Peter did kill his wife that day. But it didn't go as smoothly as it might have.
And maybe it's because he was whispering his thoughts out loud. Or maybe it was because his wife was a psychic who could read minds. Anyway, that’s all academic now. Because she's dead.
You know, sometimes I think back about Peter’s wife. I think about her hopes and her dreams. I think about what she was like as a kid – playing in school, first report card, all of that stuff. It’s sad to think that she’s dead now. It really is.
Date Written: January 28, 2004Comments:
Author: Will Disney
Average Vote: 3.6
02/4/2004 senator (3): man...this is completely fucked up. Wait until you guys read a short i wrote last night. This is just plain weird. Maybe I won't submit it because it is eerily similar to this one. Fuck it, I'll post it on the message board and you guys can judge for yourself.
02/4/2004 qualcomm (4): yeah, good one, disney.
02/4/2004 anonymous: uhhhh, what do mean, jon?
02/4/2004 Jimson S. Sorghum (4): This one made me snicker, and I haven't really snickered at one of these babies in a while. Since the shit.
02/4/2004 Texxx: I don't understand the morality of this. Are you saying she was asking for it?
02/4/2004 Ewan Snow: Texxx, is that a joke?
02/4/2004 Texxx: Yes.
02/4/2004 anonymous: Is this funny? Oh and Feldspar don't be a brat. Please adhere to the new anonymity.
02/4/2004 anonymous: We're getting away from the original joke. She was definitely asking for it.
02/4/2004 Craig Lewis (4): This is excellent.
02/4/2004 Jon Matza: Writing's fine here but the short isn't to my personal taste...too calculatedly edgy/nasty, perhaps? Please try to better accommodate my sensibility in future shorts.
02/4/2004 Dylan Danko: Unlike the contrived simplicity that marks other shorts by the author, I didn't think it worked here. I hope this doesn't hamper the author's investigation into these shorts here.
02/4/2004 Texxx (3): The very last sentence undercuts the seriousness of the narrator's recollections. And the seriousness makes it funny.
02/4/2004 anonymous: huh?
02/4/2004 Dylan Danko: I think it underscores it.
02/4/2004 Texxx: "It really is." To me, it sounded like the narrator is overdoing it a bit. Like he's trying to be more affected than he really is. He doesn't really miss her, that b*stard. And I think it's funnier if he's completely serious and legitimately saddened. That is all.
02/4/2004 Dylan Danko: You might be right about that. I do think it works better without the last sentence.
02/4/2004 senator: I'll see your idea that the last sentence needs to go, and raise you with the entire last paragraph. The short is done after: Because she's dead.
02/4/2004 anonymous: You may have a point, senator. As well as you other jerks. The goal of that last paragraph was to depress the reader. Maybe I could've put in "I miss her." instead of "It really is."
02/4/2004 anonymous: Or, "I shouldn't have killed her."
02/4/2004 anonymous: Well, that wasn't the twist I was going for there. Like I said, I was more shooting for depression.
02/4/2004 anonymous: I know. Just joking.
02/4/2004 scoop: You're all wrong. It should've ended with the "as it might have line." Yeah. That's right.
02/5/2004 Jimson S. Sorghum: I don't know. I kind of like all the "her hopes, her dreams" stuff. It's kind of funny.