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Kyrie totally could not believe this was happening. She was, like, the most popular girl in the seventh grade. Everyone said so, they like totally did, but now no one would talk to her, all because of what happened at that stupid, stupid party. They’re all just jealous. They’re jealous that she was kissing the most popular boy in school. They totally have problems. Even her father, her lame-o father, said it was ok that she and Brent were kissing. He said that it was just, like, a part of, like, growing up, and she was almost a grownup, so he said to heck with all those other kids who don’t understand. They’re just jealous and they’re losers. She’s the most popular girl in the seventh grade and Brent is the most popular boy in the whole school. So, like, it totally doesn’t matter that Brent is her brother.

Date Written: January 28, 2004
Author: VanDilden
Average Vote: 2.6

Comments:
02/9/2004 Craig Lewis: Would have been better, I think, without the punchline.
02/9/2004 Joe Frankenstone: Yes the punchline was telegraphed, but I really liked it. The humor is in the relatively subtle teen-age sentence construction, which avoids over-the-top Valley Girlism in favor of a very realistic young voice. Better closing line: "So, like, it totally doesn't matter that Brent is a toy doll possessed with the soul of an executed serial killer."
02/9/2004 Will Disney: yeah, i like the last line okay. i like frankenstone's version a lot, though.
02/9/2004 Slappy White (5): Now hold on one cotton pickin' minute there. As written, this would completely be a Sarah Silverman joke, and SHE IS FUNNY. So, I understand the punchline argument to make it, uh, smarter, but really, this short would fly in the greatest living female comedian's routine. So I give it 5.
02/9/2004 anonymous: My friend's brother used to schtup Sarah Silverman (true story). But nevermind that. I think we all know that S.S. is not the greatest living female comedian. Um, does the word DeGeneres mean anything to you?
02/9/2004 Texxx: DeGeneres?!
02/9/2004 anonymous: Ellen. DeGeneres. Ground-breaking sitcom work. Superior Finding Nemo voice-over performance. Sublime observational stand-up humor. Who hems and haws like DeGeneres? What comedienne can match the DeGeneres hem, the DeGeneres haw?
02/9/2004 anonymous: anon_user_a, I won't nevermind that! Let's hear some details. Did she like it?
02/9/2004 Jon Matza: VanDilden shrewly illustrates society's hypocritical double standard when it comes to incest. If a girl makes out with her brother, she's a slut. But if he makes out with her, he's a stud!
02/9/2004 Benny Maniacs (2): In this short you somehow made incest not funny.
02/9/2004 throg (2): As I was reading this, I was thinking, "This could be good if it isn't her brother." I'd like to give Matza's comment 4 stars though.
02/9/2004 Jimson S. Sorghum: Yeah it could have been 5 stars, if only he hadn't left out the 'd' in 'shrewdly.'
02/9/2004 Jon Matza: You'll pay for this, Jimson. In fact, I demand satisfaction.
02/10/2004 scoop (3): It's a photo finish for first palce with Matza's comments edging out Maniacs's comments by a nose!
06/11/2004 Pix (1): I've read too many V.C. Andrews novels for this to be shocking or funny.