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On the way home, I once again despised myself for riding the so-called 'short bus', but at the same time loathed even more the world in which I had been classified 'tard'. I considered for the googleplexteenth time the brutality of this word, this shortening of an already shortened stigma (mentally retarded, retard, tard), all the crueler for its conciseness. I hate you: you, "the norm", you cerebrally unencumbered brats. You ignorantly write off your viciousness to 'Oh yes, they are all happy, don't worry about them, they are probably happier than us, look at them, they don't understand our petty jibes or humiliating imitations, they probably love life more than we do, ha ha ha'. Utter horseshit. All the other Down Syndromers on this bus are in the same uncoordinated prison I here find myself; unable to keep from staring agape at our surroundings or curb our sensory motor machinations. If you only knew, you chromosomal conformers, if you only knew what lay beneath our sunny yet salivatory facades, then you'd save your unmitigated lingual lashings for somebody else's ears. Please, if there's a God:
May all who torment us here on earth spend an eternity handicapped, helmetted, and on the short bus in hell.
Date Written: February 04, 2004Comments:
Author: Benny Maniacs
Average Vote: 3.5
02/12/2004 anonymous (5):
02/12/2004 Ewan Snow (5): This was pretty funny, except I'm not sure it could really have been written by a tard...
02/12/2004 Texxx (2): This tard humor escapes me.
02/12/2004 Ewan Snow: "googleplexteenth" is good. But now that I think about it, I wish I could take one star back for, "short bus," which is unoriginal...
02/12/2004 Will Disney (3): i dunno - a three? a four? it's an interesting premise although i don't think all that much was done with it...
02/12/2004 senator (4): I smiled the entire time while reading this short. I'm a sucker for "tard humor". However, where's the punchline? I needed just a little something to make me laugh at the end instead of smile.
02/12/2004 Jon Matza: Yeah - I was with you till the ending, too. 3 1/2, minus 1/2 in case it's scoop, who's just surpassed me in the rankings. I can't help but notice this is the second 'tard short since mine appeared a few short weeks ago. You needn't apologize, however. I consider it an homage.
02/12/2004 Jon Matza (3): I forgot to vote, like a retard!
02/12/2004 Ewan Snow: Was that a tard short, Matza? Or did you link to the wrong one?
02/12/2004 Jon Matza: Yeah, I meant this one.
02/12/2004 qualcomm (3): too bad this one beat you to the punch about 2 years ago, matza.
02/12/2004 Jon Matza: I never claimed that I wrote the first. Just that I seem to wield remarkable, overwhelming influence.
02/12/2004 Mr. Pony: I don't quite see what either of those shorts has to do with this one. Except that they all contain at least one person with Special Needs. Is that what you two are talking about?
02/12/2004 Phony Millions (3): You guys are always busy defending your territory. That's so retarded!
02/12/2004 qualcomm: the barbarians are at my gates
02/12/2004 Phony Millions: watch that ego tiger!