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As the greenhorn known only as 'Custodian Larry' stumbled with the stubborn buttons of Genevieve's impenetrable blouse, while amorously clutching a stray ball of sock (doubling as a large breast) that had inauspiciously escaped from her brassiere (but remained hidden beneath said blouse) as the two wrestled upon the itchy brown-green carpet in a particularly inconspicuous location nearly four feet behind a depleted watercooler, the embattled secretary of twenty-five years experience, whose recent editing duties had done nothing to improve her already dismal office existence, remarked, "That's a topographical error, asshole."
Date Written: February 12, 2004Comments:
Average Vote: 2.4286
02/20/2004 Phony Millions (4): Yeah!
02/20/2004 Ewan Snow (3): "As, ...,while ...,as..." is a weak way to construct a long sentence. "Topographical error," is a pun in reference to what? The bulge of the fake-breast-sock? Is this whole short a set up for that labored pun?
02/20/2004 qualcomm (2): a boring mrs. malaprop pun at the end of a dickensian nightmare sentence.
02/20/2004 Dylan Danko (2): Boo.
02/20/2004 Jon Matza (2): Sons of Satan! How can there be this many wasted words in such a brief short? Why does it matter how far they were behind the watercooler, or that the watercooler was depleted? Or how many years experience Genevieve has as a secretary? Or whether her editing duties improved her job or not? Add to this the full-blown adjectivitis and the flimsy gag and you've got a *'er - but I can't quite seem to pull the trigger.
02/20/2004 scoop (2): I just don't get it, man. Looks like a long-sentence experiment gone wrong. Although I do like the "amorously clutching a stray ball of sock" line.
02/20/2004 anonymous: 'Topographical' instead of 'typographical' - that's why the 'editing duties' are explained. The 'depleted watercooler' makes the setting even more barren, or something.
02/20/2004 Jon Matza: or nothing.
02/20/2004 Dick Vomit: Ouchies!
02/20/2004 anonymous: You guys would crucify Flaubert.
02/20/2004 qualcomm: you comparing your writing to his?
02/20/2004 Jimson S. Sorghum (2): I agree with scoop. I thought, ah, he's trying to do something cool with an ultra-long sentence. If that's the case, we shouldn't really see the machinations.
02/20/2004 qualcomm: by the way, stumbled and stubborn is too obvious an alliteration. you'da been better off keeping the more subtle "stubborn buttons" and picking another verb. that kinda crap is a dead giveaway for amateurism. i'm sure i've been guilty of it myself, but then, i had the good sense not to compare myself to flaubert afterward.
02/20/2004 anonymous: That would be bold! No - not doing that. Just his attention to detail.
02/20/2004 anonymous: On second thought, yes. This writing is 10 times better than Flaubert. Maybe 11 times.
02/20/2004 Dylan Danko: If i hadn't already voted, I'd give the author an extra star for his boldness.
02/20/2004 scoop: I thouhgt flaubert was one of them flaming desserts.
02/20/2004 Jimson S. Sorghum: flaming...you got that right.
01/18/2005 Streifenbeuteldachs: Ahahah, the Flaubert comment has to be the best one on the site. Where is this Texxx fellow? I want him.
01/18/2005 Mr. Pony: Which Flaubert comment?