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The cocky Jumbo Shrimp crawled along the sea bottom, approaching a rather large Tiger Prawn.
“Hey, chink-food” said the Jumbo Shrimp.
The Tiger Prawn went “WasssaH!” in a really stereotypically offensive Bruce Lee voice, and leapt into a battle ready pose.
“You gotta be freakin joking me” said Jumbo.
Again, another Asian racist noise from our yellow striped friend, and more gesticulations.
"Well bring it on!" Jumbo roared; his posture indicated he too was ready for combat.
Just then, a single file of petite Coctail Shrimp streamed by, and the two larger crustaceans softened.
“Woah there, little ladies" - but while Jumbo was looking at cocktail tail, Tiger Shrimp quintuple Karate kicked him in each of his thorax plates, took care of business with the little ladies, and has since basically conquered the international shrimp markets, through cheap, clean farming strategies in Vietnam and other South-East Asian environs. Jumbo Shrimp, of course, remains an oxymoronic laughing stock in the U.S., what with its high overheads and outdated trawling methods.
Date Written: March 18, 2004Comments:
Author: Benny Maniacs
Average Vote: 4.54167
03/23/2004 Jon Matza (5): Made me laugh, 4 1/2.
03/23/2004 John Slocum (4): Hilarious, a great short, agree with Matza on 4.5 stars. Taps into historical/biblical/philisophical theme of downfall of Man brought on by Woman (see Bible, etc.). Boldly confronts racial stereotypes and brings up agrico-business strategies. Well done!
03/23/2004 Will Disney (5): yes it's a 4.5. i like the closing bit.
03/23/2004 Mr. Pony (5): I want you to know that this scuttled a short I was working on. This does the Asian thing so much better than I could ever dream of. May the road rise to meet you.
03/23/2004 Craig Lewis (5): Very, very good. Bad punctuation, though. Again: commas!
03/23/2004 qualcomm (4): barely a four. f u.
03/23/2004 Ewan Snow (3): I was ready to two star this fucker after the first few 'graphs, but the last 'graph held a few surprises. The last phrase ("outdated trawling methods") is funny and almost makes me want to bump it up to four. But not quite.
03/24/2004 scoop (4): Outdated Trawling Methods are redemptive words, redeeming this short.
12/16/2004 Turgid (5):
01/3/2005 The Rid (5): Great.
07/27/2005 TheBuyer (4.5): Get yer half-star on, Benny this is minty and clean.
07/28/2005 Dylan Danko (5):