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The whole world changed on 9/11 but one thing didn't change i will never shop at the Barney's warehouse sale without a pair of elbow pads and a big broomstick to swat all of the clothes divas out of the way, it is a madhouse and you better not even show up unless you are ready to fight for yr right to dress to impress! one year i found the hottest pair of karl lagerfeld flat front trousers with a super thin black-on-black pinstripe but i put them down for one split second while I dug through the sweater bin and sure enough, this bitchy little muscle queen scuttled over like the rat that he was and tried to swipe them from right under my nose. I was like "Unh-unh-unh, not so fast MISTER MAN, i don't care how many hours a day you spend at David Barton your still 5 feet four and i don't even want to have to grab a Comme Des Garcons belt and start cracking the whip across that scrawny butt of yours sweety!" Take my advice never take your eyes off of yr stuff, someone is sure to take it, its dog eat dog at the warehouse sale and i for one am not having it so, watch me work people! its my party and i will shake my moneymaker if i want to so, deal with THAT! The other crazy thing about 9/11 is how i never thought about terrorists before but now everyday you think "Oh, maybe he's a terrorist, or he's a terrorist..." all i know is Bin Laden has issues...so, bin LAden honey, cut that scraggly beard get yrslf a nice marc jacobs mock-turtleneck and just rock out with yr cock out sister! no more terrorism in 2004! woooooo!

Date Written: March 24, 2004
Author: Terrence
Average Vote: 2.75

Comments:
03/30/2004 Mr. Pony: Fried chicken and watermelon!
03/30/2004 Benny Maniacs (2): This short was written by a Pakistani man trying to get into the head of a ditzy blonde American. Either that or it's just a two star job.
03/31/2004 John Slocum (4): This could have been a little tighter (oooohhhhhhhhhhhh!), but what the hell, some parts of it were funny.
03/31/2004 Ferucio P. Chhretan (1): sniff sniff... I smell fake gay. sniff sniff...
03/31/2004 mr.coffee: I feel dirty. I don't know why. But I wonder...Is his sack turgid?
03/31/2004 Jimson S. Sorghum (4): Yeah, I thought it was pretty funny, too.