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DES MOINES (AP) - "The kid just flipped," remarked Stanislaus MacLeod, biology teacher at Masters Academy. "I don't know what got into him."

Early Thursday morning, Billy Winters, a high school student at Masters and a struggling trombonist (as described by some of his classmates), drove his pickup truck into the side of a school building where band practice was being held. The students inside, directed by Mr. Henry Lagerfeld, had no idea what hit them.

"That kid's a freak," observed Johnny di Pizzaiola. "What the hell? We're trying to tighten up for the district championship, and all of a sudden, Billy crashes his truck right through the building. He has this half-smirk on his face. And he's holding the horn down. He just won't let it go. As if the noise from the crash wasn't enough."

Theories abounded shortly thereafter. "I don't know," reflected Mr. Lagerfeld. "I can be hard on these kids sometimes. But Billy just wasn't cutting it. He was the only one out of tune yesterday. 'Again,' I'd say. But the kid just wouldn't get it."

"Sure, Lagerfeld's a d---. But come on," said one student, who requested anonymity. "At least his truck was a piece of s---. But I bet his parents are p---ed."

After the debris was cleared and some sense of order was restored, Billy offered his own reluctant explanation. "They say that car horns sound in 'F.' You know, in that pitch. So there's your 'F,' a------s."

Date Written: April 14, 2004
Author: Cabot
Average Vote: 1

Comments:
04/19/2004 Will Disney: Wait, what's the last censored word?
04/19/2004 Maxwell Demon: a-holes
04/19/2004 Ferucio P. Chhretan: Not "anus"?
04/19/2004 Mr. Pony: AAAINUS!
04/19/2004 Ferucio P. Chhretan: aah, memories. Thank you, Pony. I like big nuts.
06/1/2004 TheBuyer: arnolds?
06/1/2004 scoop (1): This is fucking shit. It sucks for a lot of reasons, none of which I will go into. In conclusion, this inhales hairy fucking cock.
06/2/2004 Mr. Pony: I still think Cabot was lying about being Texxx. I just don't buy it.
06/2/2004 TheBuyer: I thought I was Texxx. Fuck it, I'm Batman.