home authors guest shorts graphical shorts
DES MOINES (AP) - "The kid just flipped," remarked Stanislaus MacLeod, biology teacher at Masters Academy. "I don't know what got into him."
Early Thursday morning, Billy Winters, a high school student at Masters and a struggling trombonist (as described by some of his classmates), drove his pickup truck into the side of a school building where band practice was being held. The students inside, directed by Mr. Henry Lagerfeld, had no idea what hit them.
"That kid's a freak," observed Johnny di Pizzaiola. "What the hell? We're trying to tighten up for the district championship, and all of a sudden, Billy crashes his truck right through the building. He has this half-smirk on his face. And he's holding the horn down. He just won't let it go. As if the noise from the crash wasn't enough."
Theories abounded shortly thereafter. "I don't know," reflected Mr. Lagerfeld. "I can be hard on these kids sometimes. But Billy just wasn't cutting it. He was the only one out of tune yesterday. 'Again,' I'd say. But the kid just wouldn't get it."
"Sure, Lagerfeld's a d---. But come on," said one student, who requested anonymity. "At least his truck was a piece of s---. But I bet his parents are p---ed."
After the debris was cleared and some sense of order was restored, Billy offered his own reluctant explanation. "They say that car horns sound in 'F.' You know, in that pitch. So there's your 'F,' a------s."
Date Written: April 14, 2004
Average Vote: 1