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Lush vegetation encroached on a small clearing dappled in summer sun. On the grass lay a forest nymph deep in introspection. She remembered the tender folds of gauzy motherhood that welcomed her to the secret kingdom of the Aurereuraouers.

Just then the Wizard of Kauldora happened through the forest on his way back from picking sleeping roots. When he saw the nymph lost in thought in the glen, he paused and began this incantation:

Oogly goblinís eager claws unbeknownst to human laws scratches through a puppyís paws. I donít know how come -- just Ďcause.

He sprinkled the roots all over the fairy in the glen. His glans started to swell and the nymph fell into deep levels of sleep that each had a number for which level it was. When she reached the thirteenth level, there were a pair of serpents fighting over pile of gold.

The wizard sprinkled more roots and the nymph descended even further into sleep.

When she reached the twenty-first level of sleep, she entered a labyrinth of two-way mirrors. Behind each was a victim of rude husbandry, deformed and ill-limbed. The coda of a pirate song played through a muffled pan flute.

By this point the Wizardís glans was the size of a crystal ball, and twice as shiny. He polished it with his sleeve and peered into it at the scene of the nymph lost in the labyrinth of the twenty-first level of sleep.

As he did, he was so captivated by the panorama that he dropped his magic pouch of sleep roots. They fell in a crick and floated downstream.

Eventually they went into a river, and then the ocean. They made the whole world sleepy. And the nymph never escaped the labyrinth of mirrors and the lame footed balloon man whistled far and wee.

Date Written: August 20, 2002
Author: Ewan Snow
Average Vote: 4.6

Comments:
12/19/2003 Ewan Snow: This one's weird, man.
12/19/2003 qualcomm (4): this one's sorta long and boring but i give it four for "the nymph fell into deep levels of sleep that each had a number for which level it was"
12/31/2003 scoop (5): "a victim of rude husbandry, deformed and ill-limbed" -- totally fucking dig it. its no masturbting gnome, but still important.
02/10/2005 John Slocum (4): yah, wierd, but funny, not so much LOL as 'holy shit, who would think of this.'
02/10/2005 John Slocum: yah, wierd, but funny, not so much LOL as 'holy shit, who would think of this.'
02/10/2005 Litcube (5): I thought this was excellent. The rhyme especially so.
02/24/2005 TheBuyer (5): this is triple dipped in all-fucked-up sauce.