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"Boy, we sure are exhibiting a great deal of inertia," I remarked as we coasted downhill in neutral.
"What do you mean? We're going like 60 miles per hour."
"Oh," I said, keeping my voice as even as possible, "Inertia is also the tendency of objects to continue moving in the same direction and at the same speed unless otherwise acted upon, not just the tendency of objects to stay at rest. That's a common misconception."
"Oh," she said.
"Lots of people make that mistake," I assured her, steering with one hand and resting my forearm casually out the open window. Then I made a big show of adjusting the rearview mirror, furtively searching her face for signs of defeat.
We traveled the rest of the way upstate in silence. After an expensive continental supper, which I paid for, we made love on the B&B's shaky four-poster.
"Inertia," I thought, muscling my obdurate cock inside her dry, clenching anus, "Inertia, you fucking cunt."
Date Written: May 11, 2004Comments:
Average Vote: 4.66667
05/17/2004 TheBuyer (5): I have been looking at that title for what, six days? in anticipation. Thank you, author for not letting me down by chucking such a gross, indecent closing line on the barby. You are a savage, and probably scare small children.
05/17/2004 Mr. Pony (5): Being right is so awesome.
05/17/2004 Will Disney (4):
05/17/2004 Benny Maniacs (4): This author does scare children, if he's the one I'm thinking of, but he has a soft spot for baby squirrels and lost pigeons. For me the last line took from an otherwise brilliant short.
05/17/2004 anonymous: maniacs, you never come along with me for the entire misogynist ride. one friday, we should go out RAPING together!
05/17/2004 scoop (5): Rape fuck fist kill bleed cut hurt funny haha.
05/17/2004 Phony Millions (4): 'obdurate cock'...wanker!
05/17/2004 Not Lisa (5):
05/17/2004 Ferucio P. Chhretan (4): Author, What are the ingredients in a continental supper? i'm only familiar with the breakfast.
05/17/2004 Benny Maniacs: I'm only into raping the dead, so I'm not sure if I'm your man, dear author.
05/18/2004 scoop: "furtively searching her face for signs of defeat." I didn't realize just how much I liked this line the first time around.
05/20/2004 mr.coffee (5): fucking awesome Lerp.
05/20/2004 Dylan Danko (5): Missed this one. Good job.
05/20/2004 qualcomm: this is my ripoff of a matza-style short.
05/20/2004 Ewan Snow (5): This was a Matza ripoff? It was so obviously you. I guess bits like "keeping my voice as even as possible" are Matza-like. It's interesting, though, cuz I was just thinking about writing a matza-style short, but mine was intended to be as close as possible, with the hope that most people would be tricked. Not sure if I could pull it off, though...
05/20/2004 qualcomm: yeah, i wasn't trying to keep it strictly matza, i just borrowed some stuff, like the line you mentioned, and the adjustment of the rearview mirror. also, more generally, doing it in 'first-person, evil asshole'
05/20/2004 Ewan Snow: Matza, where do you get your ideas?
05/20/2004 qualcomm: and by ideas, he means "weed"
05/20/2004 Jon Matza: Hang on, need to do some work. Will respond later. Why must you people constantly goad me?
05/20/2004 Ewan Snow: Didn't mean to goad, brother.
10/19/2004 scoop: Answer the question, Matza, you evasive sonfabitch. Where do you get you friggin ideas?
12/8/2005 Luthius Badapple (5):