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New to AcmeShorts? Take the Tour Page Views: 5161167 Users Online: 1 © 2008 AcmeShorts Updated: 8/29/2005Current Quarter: Q2FY09 Total Shorts: 2,751
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[warning: this short is longer than 500 words] 6 p.m., VIP Pub. I put a ten on the bar. “Gin on ice, Sam.” “It’s on me, Al.”
Not a bad egg, eh? I put a tip on the bar and had a big sip. Ahh. A bum day so far, but not as bad now.
Cut to 10 p.m. I was on gin six and lit by now. I’d go in a bit…
A low hum met my ear. “Hi, Al.”
I sat up. No way—was it her? Eve, the gal at the lab? Yes it was! I’d had my eye on her for an eon or two was all!
“Hi, Eve! How are ya? Sit by me? I’ll buy you one if you let me.” Ten to one I’d get a “no”, but why not ask?
But sit she did! I was in awe. Man oh man she was a fox! An ass to die for, and up top…son of a gun! The way her bra jut out, it was apt to rip in two. A set fit for a god.
I now had a new aim: to get Eve in bed. And was it me, or did she have sin in her eye too? If so, she was too shy to let on, I saw. OK by me—I’d let her act coy for now. So we had a few…
Cut to one a.m. She had to pee, and as she hit the can my eye was on her ass. To me, her ass was art. Man, I was hot for her. How can I get her? I’ve got to ask her…
She was on her way to the bar now. Be a man…try it! I met her eye. “I’m hot for you, Eve.” The cat was out of the bag now...
It was a hit. She lit up. “Me too, Al! I’ve got a yen for you in a big way. Can we go to bed now? Say yes and I’ll die of joy. My mom is in D.C., so I’m on my own.” She ran her arm up my leg and bit her lip. “I’ll beg for it if you say so.”
Wow! Not so shy at one a.m., eh? I had to hug her. “I’ll get us a cab.”
By 1:10 we got to her pad and she let me in. She put on an old LP by the Who and we sat on her bed. Sex was in the air. I was a fly in her web, and it was OK by me…
She got on my lap. I had a bad yen to rub her ass, so I did. It was a joy.
“Now do my tit!” To aid me, she got her bra off (she was a D cup, by the way). I bit on it and she let out a cry. My rod was big as a bat by now. Eve saw it and got it out. Oh man…
“Do it now, Al! Use me!”
My God! I put it in and she let out a sob of joy. Man was she wet! She got on top of me and we had our way…
By and by my rod was all set to go off. Eve saw and got off of me. “Not yet!” She put oil on it. “Put it up my ass!”
“Are you—”
“Do it!”
Who was I to say no? I got on top of her and put the tip in.
“No, jam it in all the way! Do it now!”
“If you say so, Eve…”
“Oh my God!! Yes…yes…yes…!”
In and out, in and out…I did not let up. I did her in the can as if I was mad.
“YES!!!”
Cut to two a.m. We lay on the bed.
“Did you get off, Eve?”
“I had six, Al.”
Six? I was a sex god!
The End.
p.s. To see a red hot xxx mpg of Eve, go to www.oui.com.
Author: Jon Matza User Feedback:(+ Add Comment) He had farted - a wet one, barely audible. Standing next to him, I thought, "Skidmark. He will have a skidmark. Right now, there's a trail of trace shit escaping from his fat ass, lining his underpants."
"Dude, you're going to have a little somethin' somethin' on your underpants," I said, giggling. The joint I was smoking started to canoe just then, and burnt rapidly up the side, singing my index finger. "Shit!" I said, trying to hold in the smoke, giggling some more. The last giggle, though, cracked off awkwardly, and my voice raised its pitch inadvertently. I instantly flushed with embarrassment.
He looked at me all pissed off and sullen. "Dude, what do you mean, 'somethin' somethin'? That's so gay! Don't try to get all familiar-like with me. If I fart, it's like, dude, just ignore it."
I was too stoned now. Everything got all weird. He had farted, damn it. He started the whole mess. He was smoking my joint. I was just trying to break the ice, to let him know that it was okay that he farted, that I was mellow enough with that and could respond to it in a jocular, off-hand way.
But it had backfired. I knew it as soon as the words escaped from my lips. I should have just let it ride. I felt shame and anger rise up all at once from my stomach. A tickling sensation began in my groin, and I was aware that my penis was shrinking, wilting away as it were, like you know what happens with guys at sporting events or listening to music (studies have been done, it's true - no one know why exactly but yeah your dick shrinks).
I looked at him and began to speak. "Man, I was just trying to..." Darkness closed in and I blacked out. I awoke with a sharp headache and the faint smell of egg salad. But it wasn't just the smell. It was like I could taste egg salad in my throat and in my blood - like someone had intravenously shot me up with essence of egg salad.
I didn't like the whole thing; I thought the whole thing was 'like weird.' Author: Phony Millions User Feedback:(+ Add Comment) I keep my mind in my brain, which is located in my skull, a round bone enclosure supported by my spinal column. I use it to control my actions, such as moving my arms, which terminate with manipulators – hands if you will. I use my hands to manipulate my genitals, two pendulant glands and a tube of erectile, sponge-like tissue, which, once properly manipulated, spurts buckets of hot jizz, which needs no explanation. Author: Ewan Snow User Feedback:(+ Add Comment) 1. Penny Pulaski - published 3/18/2004 by qualcomm - Avg. Rating 2. I had been lubricating with iodine-125 and I think my wife’s vagina was degrading. - published 5/14/2004 by John Slocum - Avg. Rating 3. Kofi Annan absentmindedly fingered the burled walnut inlays on his Bentley's rear passenger control panel. - published 9/28/2004 by qualcomm - Avg. Rating 4. Slopcloth - published 3/1/2004 by Phony Millions - Avg. Rating 5. Be warned, ladies—I’m like a pit bull when it comes to pussy. - published 10/27/2004 by Jon Matza - Avg. Rating |