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© 2010 AcmeShorts
Updated: 8/29/2005
Current Quarter: Q2FY11
Total Shorts: 3,190
Author profile: Phony Millions Description: Phony Millions plays the piano
Phony Millions's Personalized Author Rankings: 1. Craig Lewis 2. Ewan Snow 3. scoop 4. Jon Matza 5. Mr. Pony 6. qualcomm 7. Will Disney 8. Dick Vomit 9. Jimson S. Sorghum 10. Dylan Danko 11. TheBuyer 12. Benny Maniacs 13. John Slocum
Phony Millions's Personalized Guest Rankings (top 15 only, min. 3 votes): 1. Streifenbeuteldachs
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Freshest Short: “My name’s Jack and I’m forty-two."
Author Preference for Phony Millions: 1. Jon Matza 2. TheBuyer 3. Ewan Snow 4. John Slocum 5. Mr. Pony 6. qualcomm 7. scoop 8. Benny Maniacs 9. Craig Lewis 10. Jimson S. Sorghum 11. Will Disney 12. Dylan Danko 13. Dick Vomit
Guest Preference for Phony Millions (top 10 only, min 3 votes): 1. Litcube 2. The Rid 3. StreifenbeuteldachsRecent Message Board Posts from Phony Millions: 1. re: BONUS! Failed Michener Short posted 2/24/2005 9:56:07 PM 2. (no subject) posted 6/29/2004 12:48:57 AM 3. hangin' with the euortrash, laptopless posted 6/29/2004 12:47:15 AM 4. Am I out of the loop? posted 5/20/2004 12:06:34 AM 5. re: My descending author status posted 12/18/2003 11:41:34 AM
1. “My name’s Jack and I’m forty-two." - added 3/3/2005 9:45:53 PM 2. Dan danced with his wife Sylvia at the wedding, regarding the floral arrangements with satisfaction. - added 2/11/2005 7:11:19 PM 3. Laura and I - added 1/24/2005 7:36:35 PM 4. Tim kissed Susan with resignation at the entrance to his apartment and said goodbye, shutting the door. - added 1/7/2005 6:39:27 PM 5. Jim Lipidina met Linda Gregario in 1983 at a Journey concert in the Hartford Civic Center. - added 12/11/2004 1:40:08 AM 6. I walked into the emergency room sicker than shit and the doctor came in, shutting the door abruptly. - added 12/9/2004 3:00:59 AM 7. A Day in The Life of a Jazz Slut - added 6/15/2004 10:27:58 PM 8. Old Man Jenkins and I - added 6/2/2004 11:41:47 PM 9. The Dialectics of Taking a Dump - added 5/24/2004 1:04:01 AM 10. Will I listen to Nirvana when I’m in my seventies? - added 5/17/2004 1:10:48 AM 11. Ataraxy - added 4/26/2004 2:19:07 AM 12. Contempt - added 2/27/2004 8:54:12 PM 13. Slopcloth - added 2/21/2004 7:51:25 PM 14. Thom Yorke... - added 2/12/2004 2:12:32 AM 15. Driving on the Palisades Parkway out of the city, Joe looked across the river and felt a rush of warm tenderness for humanity in general. - added 2/7/2004 3:14:22 AM 16. “Tuesday night at driving school I saw Jason Summers." - added 12/12/2003 12:54:09 AM 17. The woman entered Starbucks and saw the girl working at the counter. - added 12/11/2003 1:15:31 AM 18. While he banged away at the hapless corpse, the necrophiliac suppressed a painful bubble of gas. - added 12/4/2003 12:59:16 AM 19. “Your hands – they’re rough, like someone who’s worked outside all his life,” she said sweetly and softly... - added 11/24/2003 3:33:47 PM 20. Feldspar took the white blotter acid he bought in Central Park and stuck it on his tongue. - added 10/22/2003 1:49:09 PM 21. Bad Mozart - added 10/14/2003 2:29:41 AM 22. Most of life is a series of pragmatic lies... - added 7/16/2003 2:17:55 PM 23. In her Windstar Minivan... - added 7/2/2003 12:35:16 AM 24. In college, Fred longed for the simple safety of high school... - added 6/8/2003 2:14:04 AM 25. I have this thing about inanimate objects. - added 5/9/2003 2:42:33 AM 26. “Mr. Fuckbon, what does the future hold for the war in Clitoristan?” - added 5/2/2003 12:09:04 AM 27. An American in Bahgdad - added 4/18/2003 11:35:56 PM 28. The Hermeneutics of Vaginal Desire - added 4/11/2003 29. Bruce Willis' nipples hardened. - added 3/27/2003 30. "What was the animus for his shorts?" - added 3/20/2003 31. He had farted - a wet one, barely audible. - added 2/27/2003 4:08:00 AM 32. Jon sat with Ewan, dejected and sour. - added 2/17/2003 6:23:00 PM 33. Ewan gazed at the sunset from the window in the youth hostel in Brussels. - added 7/6/2002 8:46:00 PM 34. Sue Rosenlip worked in the bakery at the Price Chopper… - added 4/25/2002 5:05:00 PM 35. Dick Gregario pulled into the parking lot… - added 4/25/2002 4:33:00 PM 36. Jake had a fecal quality - added earlier 37. Fortune and Glory, said the pale politician - added earlier