Be warned, ladies—I’m like a pit bull when it comes to pussy.
Let me be as clear as I possibly can: when I see pussy I don’t just fuck it—I pulverize it. My cock’s like a battering ram, only harder—plus, it’s sharp. The end's like a pine cone. So brace yourself, 'cause by the time I’m done with your snatch there won’t be anything left (taking into account a vagina is already an absence of space).
Do you crave romance, ladies? Do you yearn for a man to probe, lick and gently caress the delicate petals of your precious daffodil until you shudder in sweet climax? If so, I'm sure you can find some country club jerk happy to oblige. What you won’t find is someone to cock-slug your pussy the way Rocky pounds on a side of beef in a slaughterhouse. Someone like myself.
Incidentally, ladies, when I fuck pleasure’s not part of
the equation. I don’t enjoy it. In fact it disgusts me. But I do it anyway. Why is none of your concern. All you really need to know about me is that any minute now I'm going to batter your vag with a frenzied sequence of jackhammer pelvic thrusts until I ejaculate inside you. Then I'll withdraw my rapidly detumescing penis. UNHH! UGGGH! UGHHH!
User Feedback:(+ Add Comment) 11/29/2004 11:08:03 PM - Jon Matza: The intensity of our enthusiasms can wax and wane over time, ILoveCock. Don''t be surprised if one of these days you find yourself REALLY loving cock again. 11/18/2004 12:36:15 PM - Ewan Snow (): "Let me be as clear as I possibly can." I'll add my five to the pile. 11/18/2004 12:11:02 PM - Litcube: cock-slug. 10/28/2004 1:27:49 AM - Litcube: Well done, sir. 10/28/2004 1:06:39 AM - John Slocum: I was right, I was right, I was right, I was right! 10/27/2004 8:46:49 PM - John Slocum: I think it's ol' summer, snow, scoop or disney. 10/27/2004 5:30:22 PM - Mr. Pony: I wish this was me. 10/27/2004 5:22:31 PM - From Author: (Sorry to totally burn you.) 10/27/2004 5:02:51 PM - From Author: Interesting...but if I'm Matza and I wrote this, why didn't someone else write it? 10/27/2004 4:37:12 PM - John Slocum: maybe this is pony. 10/27/2004 4:34:46 PM - Mr. Pony: Like I said; weird! 10/27/2004 2:53:04 PM - Litcube (): cock-slug 10/27/2004 2:52:53 PM - John Slocum: and let's not neglect the startling denouement: "UNHH! UGGGH! UGHHH!" Fence guy? 10/27/2004 2:52:01 PM - John Slocum: Another piece of evidence is the famous Matza roundabout conceptualization of asking a question with the intent of the first answer being the opposite of what the character wants to say, all so he can eventually say what he wants to say (i.e. the pentultimate paragraph). Scoop has also employed this technique in the past, however combined with the other, previously mentioned Matzoidisms, I'm going with Matza. On balance, you'll find this logic and reasoning to be airtight. 10/27/2004 1:49:08 PM - qualcomm: this is not scoop. there is a lack of his newspaperman's attention to detail. 10/27/2004 1:32:21 PM - Mr. Pony: Hey Slocum, those very same points made me think it was the McScoopster! That's weird! 10/27/2004 1:03:43 PM - Dylan Danko (): (no comment) 10/27/2004 12:58:17 PM - John Slocum: 'a frenzied sequence of jackhammer pelvic thrusts' and 'detumescing' give this away to me as the Matzoid. He use 'Tumescent' in a poem about 10 years ago, and as Old Somber would detect, that gives it away. 10/27/2004 12:56:22 PM - John Slocum (): cock-slug 10/27/2004 12:01:35 PM - Mr. Pony (): cock-slug 10/27/2004 11:14:39 AM - TheBuyer (): cock-slug 10/27/2004 9:30:31 AM - scoop (): cock-slug. 10/27/2004 7:17:48 AM - qualcomm (): (no comment) 10/27/2004 4:54:35 AM - The Rid (): Finally! Someone else with a pine cone shaped cock!
