The deception gene's recessive, and lies on the X chromosome. Lucky the Y's got two genes for nuts. Mine still ached.
I was eating food when the phone rang.
"Yeah," I said.
The phone kept ringing. I picked it up. It rang again so I lifted the receiver.
"What."
"You're late."
"For what?"
"Whom."
The line went dead. Some joker. I sniffed my pits to clear my head. That's the stuff.
I went to the kitchen. Someone left the icebox open. There was fried chicken, eggs, a box of Chink's, and a .45. I poured myself a glass of milk. Slugged it down and grabbed the phone.
"Operator, how may I assist you?"
"Chrome Seventy Seven Magic Nine Garbage," I said.
"One moment, please."
"Hello," said a voice.
"My nuts still ache," I said.
"Glenn? Is that you?"
"Yes, mother."
I put the receiver back down and wet my slacks. That's the stuff.
User Feedback:(+ Add Comment) 12/3/2009 3:31:29 PM - qualcomm: you know how i hate tooting my own horn, but it's really funny if you imagine the hardboiled detective saying "yeah" to an empty room when the phone rings. 11/24/2009 2:18:22 PM - Ewan Snow: like how you milked the picking-up-the-phone gag for a totally gratuitous extra joke. 10/29/2009 12:03:21 PM - Litcube (): (no comment) 10/28/2009 1:47:23 AM - Jon Matza (): This shortburg is lean, brother. Terse, even. Taut-loin; Protein-pak. 10/27/2009 5:05:17 PM - Mr. Pony (): Maybe you're clearing out the attic and maybe you're not, but I don't care. That is indeed "the stuff". 10/27/2009 9:53:00 AM - Will Disney (): feldspar / OSS
): This shortburg is lean, brother. Terse, even. Taut-loin; Protein-pak.