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Guest Shorts

  1. Johnny was new in town. by Texxx on February 28, 2003
  2. "Ha Ha! Peter Poopy Poopy Pants!" by Slappy White on April 30, 2003
  3. Unsuspecting swimmers who pass through an invisible swarm of thimble jellyfish larvae... by tankini on May 07, 2003
  4. Short, Thoroughly Disturbing Poems by Texxx on May 08, 2003
  5. "This blows. Or should I say, 'Arrrrgh. This blows.'" by Texxx on May 08, 2003
  6. With just an hour of work left in the day... by Texxx on May 08, 2003
  7. Lana finally got her period when she was 15 and it was so not a big deal. by cuntry on May 09, 2003
  8. "But your honor," said the deaf man, "I've written my final summation in brail." by Noah Simple on May 09, 2003
  9. Pablo was mere millimeters away. by Dolemite on May 09, 2003
  10. Called upon to speak about her first sexual experience, Dana was practically cumming. by cuntry on May 09, 2003
  11. There is a scientific definition for the "female of the species," Frank thought, and it haunted him. by Joe Frankenstone on May 09, 2003
  12. To be frank, Cara loved to poop. by cuntry on May 09, 2003
  13. “So you’re going?” she asks. by Jaye on May 10, 2003
  14. Oh no. I hate green peppers. by Dolemite on May 16, 2003
  15. Peter seemingly had everything going for him. by Dolemite on May 21, 2003
  16. A Hasidic Tale by Ned J. Soyor on May 30, 2003
  17. As Henrietta received her soon-to-be father-in-law's beefy manhood... by Dolemite on June 20, 2003
  18. Tom Collins couldn't really be qualified as 'new' anymore. by Texxx on June 27, 2003
  19. Singapore Mixes Singlish, Hip-Hop To Nix SARS by Slappy White on July 15, 2003
  20. The turd was suspended then, suspended like the Great Tuskanini... by Noah Simple on July 29, 2003
  21. As Edwin nervously entered the company president's office to negotiate what he considered to be a 'well-deserved' raise... by Texxx on July 30, 2003
  22. “Have you ever noticed,” she asked him... by sad sack on August 03, 2003
  23. During a layover at the airport... by Texxx on August 09, 2003
  24. Jim sat back at his desk, as he did every morning, with his robe open and his quickly-hardening cock in his hand. by Joe Frankenstone on August 17, 2003
  25. Jill was surprised to see a man with whom she'd had a one night stand several years before... by VanDilden on August 18, 2003
  26. Jim Davis sucks. by Joe Frankenstone on August 26, 2003
  27. 'ridiculozz', by the Ridiculous by riverfr0zen on August 28, 2003
  28. yet another love poem by riverfr0zen on August 28, 2003
  29. She looks good. by sad sack on September 02, 2003
  30. Valerie hates to be constipated. by tankini on September 03, 2003
  31. Never 'assume' anything. You know what 'assume' does? by Texxx on September 04, 2003
  32. Protagonist: "So, I’m sitting at a table alongside three remarkably bad directors...." by Texxx on September 09, 2003
  33. NY Times, Sunday Book Review, 08.14.03 by Texxx on September 12, 2003
  34. From "The Best of 'Muddled Analogies,' Volume 1" by Texxx on September 26, 2003
  35. I lay inside myself at the bottom of my stomach. by airea on October 07, 2003
  36. Little Johnny McMillan stood above the toilet gazing lovingly at his turd. by Dolemite on October 21, 2003
  37. Mangina was more a combination... by Texxx on October 22, 2003
  38. Modern Times, Vol. 3 by Texxx on October 24, 2003
  39. Suddenly Tim turned and asked, "So Bob how's it going?" by Mafia Mike on October 29, 2003
  40. He'd really done it this time. by Texxx on October 30, 2003
  41. Life is so incomprehensible. So vague and unclear. by Loogy on November 16, 2003
  42. If it wasn't one thing, it was the other. by Texxx on November 20, 2003
  43. Cooley High, Episode 1A by Texxx on November 25, 2003
  44. He had tried to make a clean break this time by Texxx on November 29, 2003
  45. As Thomas Gunderson slapped Susie McMillan’s cum-drenched forehead with the tip of his penis... by Dolemite on December 01, 2003
  46. When he was alone, he dreamed of a marshmallow paradise. by Noah Simple on December 01, 2003
  47. "Tip o'the foreskin to ya" by Texxx on December 02, 2003
  48. Like the way a king emerges from his chamber to announce some long-awaited decree to his most loyal subjects... by Noah Simple on December 04, 2003
  49. How Frankie Joined the Clergy by Texxx on December 08, 2003
  50. I like to eat my own poop. by Will Disney Impostor on December 08, 2003
  51. "Was she black?", inquired the owner/operator... by Mr. Joshua on December 08, 2003
  52. Having just woken, and knowing he was mere seconds from getting into the shower... by Mr. Joshua on December 08, 2003
  53. "Any jackass can get a 30 year fixed at 5.75 per cent", exclaimed the managing director. by Mr. Joshua on December 08, 2003
  54. Pavlov couldn't help but reminisce... by Mr. Joshua on December 08, 2003
  55. "I liked it when the unicorn flew through the rainbow in Madeleine L'Engel's 'A Wrinkle in Time'", exclaimed Farnsworth... by Mr. Joshua on December 09, 2003
  56. "It's just all too Proustian", snivelled the smug little fuck... by Mr. Joshua on December 09, 2003
  57. Farnsworth took advantage of the lull in the dinner party conversation to steer the discourse toward his favorite topic: Anal Hygiene. by Mr. Joshua on December 09, 2003
  58. They all stood there, amazed. by Texxx on December 09, 2003
  59. To All Before Me: by Texxx on December 10, 2003
  60. The Holidays were always a tough time for Vicky. by cuntry on December 10, 2003
  61. Standing in her shower, Trina liked to contemplate life’s possibilities. by cuntry on December 10, 2003
  62. "Jurgen", cooed Daphne as she used the flat edge of her butter knife to extract the fresh, warm smegma nestled in the folds of the Aryan's rolled-back foreskin. by Mr. Joshua on December 10, 2003
  63. Jeremy Cohen had used his computer to surf the internet... by Noah Simple on December 11, 2003
  64. Teddy gave the piece of cardboard one more twist, and inserted it under his toenail. by cuntry on December 11, 2003
  65. Excerpt from A Moveable Feast: Parallel Universe by Mr. Joshua on December 12, 2003
  66. He joined her in the car just outside. by Texxx on December 16, 2003
  67. "And if you 're gonna start telling me t by Rafus Butler on December 17, 2003
  68. It was always during the holiday season by Mr. Joshua on December 20, 2003
  69. "Money talks," Javier said, holding up two sparring George Washingtons. by Noah Simple on December 20, 2003
  70. the poop box by Rafus Butler on December 27, 2003
  71. "It ain't to late to go." said Dan. by Rafus Butler on December 30, 2003
  72. "Pony here! Anyone order a pony?!?" by Rafus Butler on December 30, 2003
  73. "Barkeep, a bottle of your cheapest champagne!" by Mr. Joshua on December 31, 2003
  74. ER - "Healing Hospital" by Dolemite on January 02, 2004
  75. ...and Lord Havens had always been a reliable athletic supporter... by Texxx on January 04, 2004
  76. A Very Racy Short by Mr. Joshua on January 06, 2004
  77. Ever since I was a child I had special feelings for my mother. by Captain Crunch on January 07, 2004
  78. "My balls!?" by Rafus Butler on January 08, 2004
  79. An excerpt from "Madness! The Life and Times of Funnyman Jimmy Moore." by Texxx on January 08, 2004
  80. It's a fact - those with big heads do better in life. by cuntry on January 12, 2004
  81. "I been framed! I been framed!" by Texxx on January 13, 2004
  82. "Devon, You hard?" by Rafus Butler on January 14, 2004
  83. Jimmy quickly unzipped his pants and settled into his blue leather recliner. by Dolemite on January 15, 2004
  84. Pissed Off Roomate: Woah, man! How much weed did you smoke? the shits thick in here as fabled london fog! by Joseph Keith on January 18, 2004
  85. His double chin dripped of watery sour cream. by Joseph Keith on January 18, 2004
  86. if there is a god his names are but an a by Joseph Keith on January 18, 2004
  87. What trouble! Dylwan Matzpar had pissed himself again. by Texxx on January 20, 2004
  88. Engulfed in the throes of passion by Texxx on January 20, 2004
  89. “Dr. Goodfellow created me for several reasons,” said the taller, effete British robot while he rubbed the phallic steel dome of my head. by Joe Frankenstone on January 22, 2004
  90. “Remember that Paris movie?” she asked. by Moe-Ron on January 22, 2004
  91. Halfway to Reno by Texxx on January 26, 2004
  92. The MCP gazed down upon the computer world, and fixed his sensors on Yori. by Slappy White on January 26, 2004
  93. Dinner at Sienna by senator on January 27, 2004
  94. “And we’ll have midget jousting, midget bowling, midget wrestling, a midget bar with tiny stools, and I definitely want a midget shot out of a cannon.” by senator on January 27, 2004
  95. Wealth is within the Power of Your Reach by Texxx on January 28, 2004
  96. Ensconced in furs and various synthetic trappings by Texxx on January 28, 2004
  97. The porn stars were sticking dildos in each other’s cunts. by senator on January 28, 2004
  98. The patient was a quivering mess of self-neglect and fear. by Lenny on January 28, 2004
  99. There is a new phenomenon in town: The cowboy gangster rapper. by annebot on January 28, 2004
  100. From the desk of apocalyptic futuristic weirdo by annebot on January 28, 2004
  101. Kyrie totally could not believe this was happening. by VanDilden on January 28, 2004
  102. "Good morning class." by Lenny on January 28, 2004
  103. Ol' Ferguson always got the better of me. by Texxx on January 29, 2004
  104. As I travailed upon the steep mountain slopes by Texxx on January 30, 2004
  105. Tears streamed down Jordan’s face. by senator on January 30, 2004
  106. HotLA6969: Mmmm... my pussy is so wet! by Slappy White on January 31, 2004
  107. He woke in a cold sweat...remembering. by Joseph Keith on February 01, 2004
  108. “Mmm yeah,” Dagoberto muttered to himself as he glanced at the blue 1” Avery Heavy-Duty EZD View Binder with Locking Rings on page 465 of the 2004 Boise Office Supply Catalog. by Dolemite on February 02, 2004
  109. "You guys wanna hear something really scary?" by Texxx on February 03, 2004
  110. "Unnnngggh....Unnggghhhh....Gggggnnnnnhhhh..." by Texxx on February 03, 2004
  111. "Retarted muppets.............funny." by Lenny on February 04, 2004
  112. "Existence = essence." by Lenny on February 04, 2004
  113. I knew this was going to be one for the books. by senator on February 04, 2004
  114. I challenged by Texxx on February 06, 2004
  115. Way back in 1943 by Texxx on February 07, 2004
  116. The new orderly stared at the aged, rotting frame of the once-great actress now in the maddening throws of dementia. by Lenny on February 11, 2004
  117. Jarvinia hungrily eyed the succulent watermelon slices her mother Schmetterling carried towards the table. by Dolemite on February 12, 2004
  118. The 'ol check-raise is what happened. by Noah Simple on February 12, 2004
  119. As the greenhorn known only as 'Custodian Larry' stumbled by Texxx on February 12, 2004
  120. DONALD FUCKING SUTHERLAND by port jervis on February 13, 2004
  121. Have a nice trip, Jenson? See you next Fall! by senator on February 13, 2004
  122. Sure, I was bored. by Texxx on February 13, 2004
  123. "You worthless good-for-nothing....I don by Lenny on February 20, 2004
  124. "Cunnilingus." by Texxx on February 20, 2004
  125. Doe, a deer. A female deer. by port jervis on February 24, 2004
  126. It was just like any other drug deal.... by annebot on February 24, 2004
  127. Scheduled to be published Wednesday Morning, 3/3/2004. by port jervis on February 27, 2004
  128. "Touch my face," said Terry, "Touch my face and you'll know it's true." by cuntry on March 03, 2004
  129. Papa...? Yes, boy? What does it me by Rafus Butler on March 04, 2004
  130. "Today I thought about secret things... by Moe-Ron on March 04, 2004
  131. Stupid people shouldn't breed. by annebot on March 04, 2004
  132. Tanya polished off a quart of green chicken curry and kicked back on her stained ikea counch. by cuntry on March 08, 2004
  133. There used to be a town called Angry River nestled in the hills a hundred miles north of here by $ on March 14, 2004
  134. The Allegory Stupid of Jacob Starfish PART I by Jacob Starfish on March 15, 2004
  135. JT pedaled slowly up the up side of the Williamsburg bridge. by cuntry on March 15, 2004
  136. Many gays were dancing at a bar outside on the beach in Fire Island. by Terrence on March 16, 2004
  137. I was at the Gay Olympics competing as a long jumper. by Terrence on March 16, 2004
  138. As the class silently completed their "Do Now," Jeff Dennington reclined, confidently, for the first time, in his chair. by Rafus Butler on March 17, 2004
  139. "Will that be with or without the milk-mixture." by Rafus Butler on March 18, 2004
  140. Dear Mr. Chuck E. Cheese by Dolemite on March 18, 2004
  141. The Allegory Stupid of Jacob Starfish PART II by Jacob Starfish on March 18, 2004
  142. Rick turned over to cop a feel... by Rafus Butler on March 22, 2004
  143. The Allegory Stupid of Jacob Starfish PART III by Jacob Starfish on March 22, 2004
  144. The Allegory Stupid of Jacob Starfish PART IV by Jacob Starfish on March 23, 2004
  145. The Allegory Stupid of Jacob Starfish PART V by Jacob Starfish on March 24, 2004
  146. The whole world changed on 9/11 but one thing didn't change i will never shop at the Barney's warehouse sale by Terrence on March 24, 2004
  147. Literary Titans of the Parallel Universe: Episode II: Jane Austen's Pride and Prejudice by Mr. Joshua on March 24, 2004
  148. Is that how you want to play it then... by Ferucio P. Chhretan on March 27, 2004
  149. It was women’s basketball. by Cabot on March 30, 2004
  150. Nine hours later the plane was landing in Guam, and the Molecule was feeling good. by mr.coffee on March 30, 2004
  151. "No, no, no!" Terry protested vigorously, "That is where he breathes!" by Noah Simple on March 31, 2004
  152. The line felt like a mosh-pit at a Sinatra show... by Cialis Sucks on March 31, 2004
  153. I was going to be late for the movie. by Cabot on March 31, 2004
  154. How could anyone’s pussy juice taste better than Rachel’s snatch cream? by Dolemite on April 01, 2004
  155. My olfactory sense bludgeoned by an overdose of aromatherapy, I hasten to add that these chicks were fugly. by Cabot on April 01, 2004
  156. Stinking Vengeance by Ferucio P. Chhretan on April 05, 2004
  157. Awful Scientists by Ferucio P. Chhretan on April 05, 2004
  158. All mimsy was my morning wood, upon it there did perch a gryndilow with great green lips which gave a mighty lurch.. by Maxwell Demon on April 05, 2004
  159. Lash Witherspoon - A Blueballs™ Serial in 8 Parts by Cabot on April 05, 2004
  160. Wednesday Was a Bitch by Cabot on April 05, 2004
  161. The man in the back seat was singing, but in his addled state Rufus couldn't tell if it was a nursery rhyme or a sultry accapella by some long dead starlet. by Ferucio P. Chhretan on April 07, 2004
  162. Vignette by Maxwell Demon on April 08, 2004
  163. Dear Monty by Cabot on April 08, 2004
  164. This was the cocktail: one part fish oil, one part bear dung, two parts mustard gas peppered with Tabasco and venom. by Lola on April 08, 2004
  165. Poor Bear by Ferucio P. Chhretan on April 09, 2004
  166. Awful Scientists 2 by Ferucio P. Chhretan on April 11, 2004
  167. I was jogging down Rycroft Street, going to the cornershop when I saw God. by Ferucio P. Chhretan on April 13, 2004
  168. DES MOINES (AP) by Cabot on April 14, 2004
  169. Lord Glanthron reclined in the soft plush of his daybed and reflected on the events of the evening. by Destroyah on April 15, 2004
  170. Jimmy sat on the front stoop and raised the magnifying glass, by Maxwell Demon on April 16, 2004
  171. Larry the straight hairdresser wanted to bed his 2:30. by Maxwell Demon on April 16, 2004
  172. Awful Scientists 3 by Ferucio P. Chhretan on April 16, 2004
  173. Awful Scientists Epilogue by Ferucio P. Chhretan on April 16, 2004
  174. Not Again by Ferucio P. Chhretan on April 16, 2004
  175. Michael Andretti eased himself comfortably into the cockpit, his Sparco suit whispering against the corded seatback. by Tiddlycove on April 20, 2004
  176. As usual, he vetted the others in the elevator car … by Tiddlycove on April 22, 2004
  177. I just love when a niggah brings his whole crew. by senator on April 26, 2004
  178. Having just given Tommy what she described as a "courtesy hand-job" in the front seat of his car in the parking lot... by J. Edgar on April 28, 2004
  179. Somewhere in upper region of a Dyson sphere on the far side of the galaxy... by Maxwell Demon on April 28, 2004
  180. Lonely Robot #832 by Ferucio P. Chhretan on April 30, 2004
  181. santa again? by Ferucio P. Chhretan on May 02, 2004
  182. Stranded by Ferucio P. Chhretan on May 02, 2004
  183. The day began pleasantly enough. by Herm on May 04, 2004
  184. the very best... by Ferucio P. Chhretan on May 08, 2004
  185. There are rules in life, son. by Cooper Green on May 13, 2004
  186. a found object short by Ferucio P. Chhretan on May 14, 2004
  187. Kemosabe? by Ferucio P. Chhretan on May 14, 2004
  188. The Cleaner by Pix on May 15, 2004
  189. As readers will doubtless deduce from the tale to follow... by Herm on May 17, 2004
  190. Jake’s mouse hand shook from the torrid action of his wank hand. by Cooper Green on May 18, 2004
  191. In the event that my spouse predeceases me … by Cooper Green on May 20, 2004
  192. Ewan Snow Fan Fiction by Mr. Joshua on May 20, 2004
  193. Another Short with Shit in it by Ferucio P. Chhretan on May 25, 2004
  194. "What is it, Lopsang?” by Cooper Green on May 30, 2004
  195. Smartey Jones by Mr. Joshua on June 01, 2004
  196. If you love your girl... by annebot on June 02, 2004
  197. It had been over an hour since Laszlo had pinched a loaf ... by Cooper Green on June 04, 2004
  198. Pax Britannia! by Ferucio P. Chhretan on June 09, 2004
  199. The Molecule ran into the public bathroom... by mr.coffee on June 10, 2004
  200. Two turds were walking together along the boardwalk. by James K. Polk on June 14, 2004
  201. Nobody doubts I have a great rapport with the ladies. by John Matza on June 16, 2004
  202. Jefferson by Pix on June 19, 2004
  203. Savanna gagged on Rocco’s massive cock as mucous and saliva spewed forth from every crevice of her mouth. by Dolemite on June 22, 2004
  204. House Breaking by Cooper Green on June 22, 2004
  205. The seal-like boy, titted, tanned, still wet from the ocean, sat in sopping swim trunks upon the wooden picnic table. by Great Satan on June 24, 2004
  206. I sort of wish I was a woman sometimes. by James K. Polk on June 24, 2004
  207. Stall Challenge by Ferucio P. Chhretan on June 25, 2004
  208. Pants by Litcube on June 25, 2004
  209. First appearance of Pants by Klause Muppet on June 25, 2004
  210. Today is my 12th birthday by Pix on July 01, 2004
  211. Canadian Bait by Cooper Green on July 08, 2004
  212. Jesus Fucking Christ, what have I done? by 25squared on July 08, 2004
  213. The Blondes New Clothes by Pix on July 09, 2004
  214. I am being held captive. by Kruger on July 11, 2004
  215. In my current circumstance. by Kruger on July 11, 2004
  216. It all started one day when Stephanie Jordan, a beautiful young 20-year old black girl, discovered the huge endowment on her horse, Chester. by Coleoptera King on July 11, 2004
  217. I am sure. by Kruger on July 12, 2004
  218. It is Kruger speaking. by Kruger on July 12, 2004
  219. Pants 2 by Litcube on July 13, 2004
  220. Something felt really good about this flow. by Stash on July 14, 2004
  221. I’m just waiting to meet the right girl. by James K. Polk on July 15, 2004
  222. A priest, a rabbi, and a Branch Davidian were in a daisy chain. by James K. Polk on July 15, 2004
  223. Pre laces up... by 25squared on July 15, 2004
  224. Lock up cross street catch cab. by Pix on July 16, 2004
  225. This is what a soul looks like... by hotcancer on July 16, 2004
  226. What's your favorite way to be raped? by Stash on July 20, 2004
  227. I invented a smallification device which I’d been using to shrink myself and a bio-submarine down Fantastic Voyage-style for a little medical research project I was doing. by Richard Bachman on July 20, 2004
  228. It remains the coolest breakup I know. by Bogedita on July 20, 2004
  229. We were high and drunk and were anticipating a night of rampant snogging (or at least I was) and we stumbled into the little Cantonese restaurant down the street from my apartment. by Bogedita on July 21, 2004
  230. So there I was . . .standing on a cold gray sidewalk in Times Square, confused and shivering when I realized . . . by pecker on July 28, 2004
  231. Ambrosia…I think not. by pecker on July 28, 2004
  232. Antidisestablishmentarianisim. by toobs on August 03, 2004
  233. I remember a year ago when Chazz approached me and asked if I'd be his lead drummer... by Noah Simple on August 04, 2004
  234. R.L. Stine’s Haunted Lighthouse 4-D Review by Dolemite on August 04, 2004
  235. Pants 3 by Litcube on August 10, 2004
  236. Another late night at the law offices of Sandinski, Hathowell and Kent. by Great Satan on August 12, 2004
  237. Another Thing That Happened to Me by Jacob Starfish on August 18, 2004
  238. A long time ago, there were all these girls I wanted to have sex with. by Jacob Starfish on August 18, 2004
  239. When I was up in Heaven, I really was expecting an office metaphor. by Jacob Starfish on August 18, 2004
  240. Cranky Animal by Ferucio P. Chhretan on August 21, 2004
  241. Yeasty by toobs on August 23, 2004
  242. pants4 by Litcube on August 27, 2004
  243. pants5 by Litcube on August 27, 2004
  244. pants6 by Litcube on August 27, 2004
  245. It was the most embarrassing moment in my life. by Pix on August 28, 2004
  246. I finally had the balls to do it. by Streifenbeuteldachs on September 01, 2004
  247. "Kobe's free, Kobe's free." by Pods on September 02, 2004
  248. Waking up in a dumpster was never easy for Bill. by Fitzcarralldo on September 08, 2004
  249. "Down, damned dog!" Dorkish Dick dittered. by Fitzcarralldo on September 09, 2004
  250. Holy shit. This is the most terrifying vagina I've ever jammed my chin into. by Yahzick on September 09, 2004
  251. DAISY DAIRYLOVER is a 26 x half hour animated series for kids... by cuntry on September 09, 2004
  252. Reginald Fitzhenry, the newly, democratically elected president of Canada shivered and pulled his wolfskin cape closer about his lean, strong body. by Fitzcarralldo on September 10, 2004
  253. Lord of the rings bloopers and deleted scenes. by Fitzcarralldo on September 10, 2004
  254. Today, I wake up, and my roommate leaves, because his mom and dad are in town from Canada. by Streifenbeuteldachs on September 12, 2004
  255. Aesop’s Modern Fables by Turgid on September 13, 2004
  256. pants7 by Litcube on September 16, 2004
  257. pants8 by Litcube on September 16, 2004
  258. pants10 by Litcube on September 16, 2004
  259. Lord of the Rings outtakes and bloopers part 2 by Fitzcarralldo on September 18, 2004
  260. An entire career of hard work had been spent in the making... by Streifenbeuteldachs on September 19, 2004
  261. Aaron by Bogedita on September 20, 2004
  262. Jack let fly with a perfect spiral, aimed just to the left of his eleven year old son. by Streifenbeuteldachs on September 22, 2004
  263. "Asia," remarked Metternich... by Streifenbeuteldachs on September 25, 2004
  264. "This nigger plays a mean game," thought Bobby Fisher. by what on September 26, 2004
  265. by Litcube on September 26, 2004
  266. by Streifenbeuteldachs on September 26, 2004
  267. My name is Joe Frankenstone. by Cuntbreath on September 28, 2004
  268. "What I'm about to show you is utterly shocking" by Turgid on September 29, 2004
  269. I have moderate views and don’t like folks who get all hot under the collar when discussing politics. by James K. Polk on September 29, 2004
  270. I find tapeworms to be spiritually edifying. by Streifenbeuteldachs on September 30, 2004
  271. I am Lady Slatternly's Lover by Turgid on September 30, 2004
  272. Travelogue, Czech Republic, September by Turgid on September 30, 2004
  273. I plan to coach the winner of Mr. Universe 2034. by Streifenbeuteldachs on October 01, 2004
  274. Every day after kindergarten, before his mother returned home, Jeffrey would use the family computer to google for porn. by Streifenbeuteldachs on October 01, 2004
  275. Pants 11 by Litcube on October 01, 2004
  276. Smuckers huh? by Fitzcarralldo on October 03, 2004
  277. Zebulon Pike's meaty fist worked its way relentlessly along his turgid member. by Streifenbeuteldachs on October 03, 2004
  278. I was just sitting here, stupidly looking at old e-mails from my most recent ex-girlfriend. by The Rid on October 04, 2004
  279. My ex-girlfriend once asked what it was like to feel like a cumsponge. by The Rid on October 05, 2004
  280. HOLY SHIT YOU GUYS!!!!!!!! by Ol‘ Summer Sausage on October 05, 2004
  281. When I throw parties... by Yahzick on October 05, 2004
  282. Grace Jones tried her best to intimidate the reflection she now saw in the mirror. by Turgid on October 06, 2004
  283. Pants 13 by Litcube on October 07, 2004
  284. Chauncey, a young man who had been raised by the twin shadows of solitude and iniquity... by Chance the Gardener on October 07, 2004
  285. Seriously. by Litcube on October 07, 2004
  286. No, really. by Litcube on October 07, 2004
  287. "Ya got a fag?" asked the stranger. by The Rid on October 08, 2004
  288. What the hell by Pix on October 09, 2004
  289. Gina was totally, like, the hottest girl I'd ever seen, okay? by The Rid on October 10, 2004
  290. Aesop’s Modern Fables (#2) by Turgid on October 11, 2004
  291. Remembering 1999 by Turgid on October 12, 2004
  292. Fred and I were en route to the Communist gangbang. by The Rid on October 12, 2004
  293. “Can I borrow your hack-saw?” by Alfred P. Whitaker on October 15, 2004
  294. Survival Guide to Fellating King Midas by Streifenbeuteldachs on October 16, 2004
  295. Travelogue, Czech Republic, October by Turgid on October 19, 2004
  296. I'm a good guy, but yeah, I've made some mistakes. by Mr. Joshua on October 20, 2004
  297. Office Hilarity by Turgid on October 21, 2004
  298. I tell you, I just can't take it if a person's speech doesn't match their countenance. by Streifenbeuteldachs on October 23, 2004
  299. "Egad!" by The Rid on October 23, 2004
  300. Ever since the amputation of my legs, I've been unable to hold my liquor. by Streifenbeuteldachs on October 24, 2004
  301. "You wanna see that gaping pussy, huh?" by The Rid on October 26, 2004
  302. He felt something in the corner of his mouth by The Rid on October 28, 2004
  303. Some Chicks Freak Out by The Rid on October 29, 2004
  304. Jeffery by Litcube on October 29, 2004
  305. My cell phone rang. by The Rid on October 30, 2004
  306. Oh yes! Oh my, screamed Belinda. by Streifenbeuteldachs on October 30, 2004
  307. Egad! 2 by The Rid on November 03, 2004
  308. One Night at Gristede's by The Rid on November 04, 2004
  309. Scrither Mcdago stood quietly waiting his turn in the change rooms. by TREE on November 04, 2004
  310. LOOK MOM!! by TREE on November 04, 2004
  311. Schoolboy Memories by Turgid on November 04, 2004
  312. pain lanced his skull by TREE on November 05, 2004
  313. Confessions of a Real Estate Broker by Mr. Joshua on November 08, 2004
  314. John Kerry sat on the armrest of the couch, anxiously awaiting the result of Florida's tally. by CornHole22 on November 09, 2004
  315. You know what's depressing? by Turgid on November 09, 2004
  316. by Litcube on November 09, 2004
  317. by Streifenbeuteldachs on November 09, 2004
  318. by cuntry on November 09, 2004
  319. The Lovejoy Account by scoop's brain on November 10, 2004
  320. In The Office by cuntry on November 11, 2004
  321. It was hard being an emotionally reticent movie star. by The Rid on November 11, 2004
  322. Metamorfosizz by Turgid on November 11, 2004
  323. The DVD Conundrum by The Rid on November 13, 2004
  324. I am the very model of a fighting Retiarius. by Streifenbeuteldachs on November 15, 2004
  325. It was a really good first date by The Rid on November 15, 2004
  326. Remembering 1996 by Turgid on November 15, 2004
  327. Hateful Breakup Short! by The Rid on November 16, 2004
  328. Travelogue, Czech Republic, November by Turgid on November 17, 2004
  329. A Sympathetic Portrait (The Demise of Monkeyman) by Turgid on November 18, 2004
  330. Almost as bad as the worst short ever! by The Rid on November 19, 2004
  331. Vagaries by Turgid on November 19, 2004
  332. My dad was on a soybean kick that year by cuntry on November 21, 2004
  333. Would you please get the fuck off my back? by Alfred P. Whitaker on November 22, 2004
  334. Contact me here. by The Finch on November 23, 2004
  335. Would you watch Clinton jerk off? by cuntry on November 23, 2004
  336. Murder doesn't pay. At least, not in the Balkans. by Turgid on November 23, 2004
  337. Doug Goes to Starbucks by Litcube on November 23, 2004
  338. It was 4 AM and the microwave was beeping. by cuntry on November 28, 2004
  339. WHAT? by TREE on November 29, 2004
  340. Well fuck me. by Chance the Gardener on November 30, 2004
  341. Friday night, nine o'clock. by The Rid on November 30, 2004
  342. alias by TREE on November 30, 2004
  343. Dear Mr. Havemeyer by Turgid on November 30, 2004
  344. Dad and Mother by cuntry on November 30, 2004
  345. First time by TREE on December 01, 2004
  346. Nick looked at me, and he was Japanese!?! by cuntry on December 02, 2004
  347. I was at the symphony the other night by Turgid on December 02, 2004
  348. Jeff built a rocket in his back yard and had big dreams. by CrazyGuy on December 03, 2004
  349. I just don't see the point anymore. by The Rid on December 03, 2004
  350. periwinkle by cuntry on December 04, 2004
  351. When I was 15, jerking off in the shower was something I would do every day by Streifenbeuteldachs on December 05, 2004
  352. My Band Argued a Lot by The Rid on December 06, 2004
  353. Hey Guys!! by hagit mizrachy on December 07, 2004
  354. Kevin gave up smoking by cuntry on December 07, 2004
  355. The Office Christmas Party by The Rid on December 09, 2004
  356. Their fluorescent ski jackets by Litcube on December 09, 2004
  357. “What is that, your scrotum?” by James K. Polk on December 09, 2004
  358. Dick Fuck by hagit mizrachy on December 10, 2004
  359. I've always had unconventional sexual tastes by Streifenbeuteldachs on December 11, 2004
  360. Tammy by hagit mizrachy on December 11, 2004
  361. I've got one hundred and sixty-three V-cards on my belt. by Streifenbeuteldachs on December 11, 2004
  362. The Businessman is not excessively kind to anyone, but he is not overly rude. by The Rid on December 12, 2004
  363. I didn't want to go to film school, anyway. Dicks. by The Rid on December 12, 2004
  364. I don't sit on public toilets by cuntry on December 13, 2004
  365. Nobody berates the Molecule. by mr.coffee on December 13, 2004
  366. There were 21 shorts in the guest queue! by The Rid on December 13, 2004
  367. “HAPPY NEW YEAR!”I shouted. by hagit mizrachy on December 13, 2004
  368. What can't people understand about "going deep"? by Turgid on December 13, 2004
  369. Dr. Feelgood by hagit mizrachy on December 14, 2004
  370. It started as a joke. I ended in a fix. by Turgid on December 14, 2004
  371. Interrogation by Turgid on December 15, 2004
  372. GASLIGHT GRANDPA by hagit mizrachy on December 15, 2004
  373. Simpatico the waitress practically glided across the room. by Turgid on December 16, 2004
  374. Her ass pressed up against a tree. by cuntry on December 16, 2004
  375. Tie two hot dogs together with bacon. by CornHole22 on December 17, 2004
  376. "Dr." Goldfarb by hagit mizrachy on December 19, 2004
  377. The wind sighed in the trees by Cyrus on December 20, 2004
  378. Office Politics by The Rid on December 20, 2004
  379. Afterschool Special by Turgid on December 21, 2004
  380. Her Name Was by hagit mizrachy on December 23, 2004
  381. Christ, you're late. by cuntry on January 01, 2005
  382. The basis of our entire civilization is shared abstractions. by Streifenbeuteldachs on January 02, 2005
  383. Two milkduds, a handful of raisins... by cuntry on January 02, 2005
  384. The tooth dream. by scoop's brain on January 03, 2005
  385. Frank had a way of talking that really pissed me off. by The Rid on January 03, 2005
  386. His dick and his hand were one and the same. by Turgid on January 03, 2005
  387. A Horse Story by Turgid on January 03, 2005
  388. So honestly, my situation, did it freak you out? by cuntry on January 04, 2005
  389. Showers by Turgid on January 04, 2005
  390. It was Pat Sajak's last day at work. by Turgid on January 06, 2005
  391. University of Mississippi Burning by The Rid on January 06, 2005
  392. The Forty Thieves by Streifenbeuteldachs on January 07, 2005
  393. Don’t get salty at me by Alfred P. Whitaker on January 07, 2005
  394. Its why we are all here. by Pix on January 09, 2005
  395. I'm what you'd call a grower, not a shower. by The Rid on January 09, 2005
  396. Making a Living off the Living Dead by deliciousbrains on January 09, 2005
  397. How to Do Drugs and Make Money at the Same Time: Babysitting 101 by deliciousbrains on January 09, 2005
  398. Does the proverbial five-second rule apply? by Turgid on January 10, 2005
  399. Shooting Star by deliciousbrains on January 11, 2005
  400. I love this job. by Litcube on January 12, 2005
  401. I rolled the 30-sided die rather emphatically by Turgid on January 12, 2005
  402. April 7, 1913 by Turgid on January 12, 2005
  403. "Pee into a cup." by Turgid on January 12, 2005
  404. Fun with Death! by deliciousbrains on January 12, 2005
  405. The Alliance takes wing by Mr. Joshua on January 13, 2005
  406. We were on the trail of a fantastic mule deer buck. by Shane Mahoney on January 13, 2005
  407. TREE kills self, is thanked by TheBuyer, returns as Sergio. by The Rid on January 14, 2005
  408. That's right you sexy bitch. by cuntry on January 16, 2005
  409. A Confession and A Query by Streifenbeuteldachs on January 16, 2005
  410. So I had sex with my ex-girlfriend last night. by The Rid on January 17, 2005
  411. Maybe it was the jalapenos? by cuntry on January 17, 2005
  412. Seminal fluid made Carla itch. by cuntry on January 19, 2005
  413. The Elevator Ride by Jawbreaker on January 20, 2005
  414. We Can Learn From The Animals by Streifenbeuteldachs on January 21, 2005
  415. Wah Lee's by Sergio on January 21, 2005
  416. In an alley in any shitty, dirty city in this country, one bum holding a bleeding knot on his forehead, approaches a younger bum, picking through a Dumpster. by Pods on January 21, 2005
  417. The Last Second by el_duder on January 21, 2005
  418. I've seen a lot of strange things in my day. by Turgid on January 21, 2005
  419. "what r u wearing?" by radioactive girl on January 23, 2005
  420. The movie had been a total flop. by The Rid on January 23, 2005
  421. Same Shit. Different Day. by Jawbreaker on January 25, 2005
  422. Barry Bonds by Jawbreaker on January 25, 2005
  423. by Pusher Robot on January 25, 2005
  424. by Streifenbeuteldachs on January 25, 2005
  425. by The Rid on January 25, 2005
  426. by Moe-Ron on January 25, 2005
  427. by Jawbreaker on January 25, 2005
  428. by Litcube on January 25, 2005
  429. When the color reached the edges, we all knew who did it, but it was too late. by tabblabber on January 25, 2005
  430. She looked like hell. by Turgid on January 26, 2005
  431. The Ironic Moustache by Turgid on January 26, 2005
  432. It may hurt, folks, but it’s the truth. by The Rid on January 26, 2005
  433. Small Town America by Streifenbeuteldachs on January 27, 2005
  434. Miss Me? by middlenowhere on January 27, 2005
  435. Eric Porter was a stockbroker and late for his office appointment. by browserman on January 27, 2005
  436. Joining FARC by Streifenbeuteldachs on January 29, 2005
  437. She was always smarter than I was, so I came clean. by The Rid on January 31, 2005
  438. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. by Jawbreaker on February 01, 2005
  439. Homophobia by Turgid on February 02, 2005
  440. Twenty years after the fact by Turgid on February 03, 2005
  441. Paul Thomas Anderson returned to his plush hotel suite by Turgid on February 04, 2005
  442. There's a story once told to me as a young man that I really took to heart. by Turgid on February 04, 2005
  443. All You Can Eat. by Klause Muppet on February 05, 2005
  444. Dear Dr. Lin by Coleoptera King on February 06, 2005
  445. Accidental Circulatory Coupling by Streifenbeuteldachs on February 06, 2005
  446. The craters did it. by cuntry on February 09, 2005
  447. The children weren't only ignoring my teachings by Turgid on February 10, 2005
  448. Something happened. by The Rid on February 10, 2005
  449. The Kids Today by Mr. Joshua on February 10, 2005
  450. Cream that baby to the hilt. by cuntry on February 12, 2005
  451. Wilma was a woman by Klause Muppet on February 13, 2005
  452. What gives? by Turgid on February 15, 2005
  453. Will Disney Fan Fiction by Mr. Joshua on February 16, 2005
  454. Strictly Legit ReProductions Disclaimer by BOOTIEANDTHEHOFISH on February 17, 2005
  455. Some people like to see things half empty by Turgid on February 21, 2005
  456. Duane Reade Story by The Rid on February 22, 2005
  457. I was not about to start a bitchspaz scene at Club Opus by BOOTIEANDTHEHOFISH on February 22, 2005
  458. ProChoiceMania!! by Partytime on February 23, 2005
  459. Thursday Morning by Turgid on February 23, 2005
  460. Andre the Giant by Turgid on February 25, 2005
  461. Half Full! by Mr. Positive on February 28, 2005
  462. Stomach Foot by Litcube on March 02, 2005
  463. Madtha 'Thplode. by Litcube on March 02, 2005
  464. Time stood still. by Jawbreaker on March 02, 2005
  465. Captain Victory by Litcube on March 03, 2005
  466. From the Womb of Earth's Horizon by Partytime on March 04, 2005
  467. "Everbody's a critic" Jeffrey thought as he smeared feces on the fresh canvas. by deliciousbrains on March 04, 2005
  468. Standing on a grassy hill by Turgid on March 04, 2005
  469. I got issues. by The Rid on March 05, 2005
  470. Circumstance by Klause Muppet on March 07, 2005
  471. The duck had been following me for about a day and a half now. by deliciousbrains on March 07, 2005
  472. Nate, Todd, WalMart, truck hood. by Blister Buddy on March 08, 2005
  473. Turducken by Turgid on March 09, 2005
  474. Stupid Political Allegory by Turgid on March 10, 2005
  475. That's So Shaven by Blister Buddy on March 10, 2005
  476. The thing about sucking cock. by Alfred P. Whitaker on March 10, 2005
  477. I waxed a riceboy on my way to work. by Streifenbeuteldachs on March 13, 2005
  478. Sunday Afternoon by Klause Muppet on March 14, 2005
  479. Nate on Can by Blister Buddy on March 15, 2005
  480. Mr. Negative was here. by Mr. Negative on March 15, 2005
  481. The Sweatjob by The Rid on March 15, 2005
  482. The rail-thin communist caressed the knob of the decanter by Turgid on March 15, 2005
  483. santa cruz retard found at fault by Partytime on March 16, 2005
  484. Subway Stories by Turgid on March 18, 2005
  485. I thought I'd relaying the great though somewha t harrowing tale of the source of my braindamage. by BrainDamaged on March 20, 2005
  486. Really, truly fantastic poets, novelists by Templeton Dink on March 20, 2005
  487. In Acknowledgement Of by Partytime on March 22, 2005
  488. Shit oops by Klause Muppet on March 22, 2005
  489. "Say, do you like music?" by Turgid on March 23, 2005
  490. As I was walking down the street the other day thinking about the pantyline of the young girl in front of me, I was approached by a homeless gentleman.< by cromagnon on March 24, 2005
  491. I was born and raised in Wet Virginia... by cromagnon on March 24, 2005
  492. My recent instant messenger conversation by cromagnon on March 24, 2005
  493. Davis needed a mentor. by The Rid on March 24, 2005
  494. I need some advice from a group of intelligent, insightful, and surprisingly deeply sensitive people. by 10tonDonkey on March 24, 2005
  495. Crop's flaggin' by Partytime on March 25, 2005
  496. Bathrooms are only for customers by Klause Muppet on March 25, 2005
  497. A Full Shift. by Front on March 26, 2005
  498. On the Road by Partytime on March 26, 2005
  499. Alice and the baby by Templeton Dink on March 28, 2005
  500. "What a vainglorious morning!" by Turgid on March 29, 2005
  501. Girv and Blorf by Partytime on March 31, 2005
  502. Expires 4/1/05 by deliciousbrains on March 31, 2005
  503. German Children by Klause Muppet on April 02, 2005
  504. He stripped her naked. by soren on April 03, 2005
  505. A Purple Heart for Billy by Partytime on April 03, 2005
  506. Albino Businessman by Turgid on April 04, 2005
  507. Asking a question by The Rid on April 04, 2005
  508. A Misunderstanding by Turgid on April 06, 2005
  509. Back in high school by Turgid on April 07, 2005
  510. I go to work everyday for the greater good but it may get perverted by BrainDamaged on April 08, 2005
  511. The Gambler by Pix on April 12, 2005
  512. My Statistics as a 21 Yea Old Woman by Jawbreaker on April 12, 2005
  513. Inventory. by Litcube on April 12, 2005
  514. FUCK YEAH BITCHES by Klause Muppet on April 12, 2005
  515. nostalgia by cuntry on April 12, 2005
  516. a minor decline in lethality by Templeton Dink on April 13, 2005
  517. Jonas by Turgid on April 14, 2005
  518. Second try-Ficticious hopefully not as shitty. by BrainDamaged on April 16, 2005
  519. Third and shittiest short ever by BrainDamaged on April 16, 2005
  520. I lifted my eyelids slowly. by The Rid on April 17, 2005
  521. The professor pressed me for an answer by Turgid on April 18, 2005
  522. How to make a baby, 101 by Pix on April 19, 2005
  523. Skid Marks: A Treatise on Love by Turgid on April 20, 2005
  524. The Rid was a ghastly fellow by Klause Muppet on April 22, 2005
  525. A critique of the contemporary short using, by way of example, Graylick Dramblegumper. by Mr. Critic on April 22, 2005
  526. “Here is your grande soy latte, Webster.” by Jawbreaker on April 22, 2005
  527. A recent IM conversation... by cromagnon on April 24, 2005
  528. After my last break-up. by The Rid on April 24, 2005
  529. Head. by The Rid on April 24, 2005
  530. OOOooooh.... by Ed Mooney on April 25, 2005
  531. A well deserved thank you note to my mother by Yahzick on April 28, 2005
  532. i reached out and pressed my finger to it by cuntry on May 02, 2005
  533. She sat there by Klause Muppet on May 02, 2005
  534. a short by Klause Muppet on May 03, 2005
  535. Questions by Turgid on May 03, 2005
  536. Quit laughing at me, Alfredo. by Turgid on May 03, 2005
  537. The plan behind the worst ACME short, ever! by Dave Heiny on May 04, 2005
  538. My God, that's a big turd. by The Rid on May 04, 2005
  539. Ladies and Gentlemen: A Talking Penis! by Klause Muppet on May 05, 2005
  540. Another short about sex acts! by The Rid on May 06, 2005
  541. Gerald sat with his fly down, his meat somewhere between flacid and firm. by cuntry on May 07, 2005
  542. Jesus H. Christ on a twig! by Great Satan on May 07, 2005
  543. The Banal. by The Rid on May 10, 2005
  544. Childhood by Alfred P. Whitaker on May 11, 2005
  545. Werner Herzog by Turgid on May 11, 2005
  546. Good evening, Mr. Slocum. Would you like some wine? by Klause Muppet on May 11, 2005
  547. Kelly was fed up. by Jawbreaker on May 11, 2005
  548. Poop! by Poop on May 11, 2005
  549. As I sat alone at the bar by Turgid on May 13, 2005
  550. Algebra by The Rid on May 14, 2005
  551. Ladies and Gentlemen: A Talking Penis! PART 2 by Klause Muppet on May 16, 2005
  552. Opening Night Jitters by Turgid on May 18, 2005
  553. Let go of my balls! by cuntry on May 19, 2005
  554. The Blacksmith by The Rid on May 19, 2005
  555. Leather by Turgid on May 19, 2005
  556. At the Club by Turgid on May 24, 2005
  557. Day 3 by Shane on May 24, 2005
  558. Dammit! by Jawbreaker on May 25, 2005
  559. This short is about a businessman named Ted. by The Rid on May 25, 2005
  560. Ian sat down on the metal chair. by Klause Muppet on May 26, 2005
  561. I ramped right into her by Turgid on May 31, 2005
  562. The Truth by Mr. Joshua on May 31, 2005
  563. 300 Pt. 1 by Shane on May 31, 2005
  564. 300 Pt. 2 by Shane on May 31, 2005
  565. 300 Pt. 3 by Shane on May 31, 2005
  566. There Is A Problem by Litcube on June 06, 2005
  567. The office was quiet... by Klause Muppet on June 06, 2005
  568. Not Mr. Pony Fan Fiction, Though I Am a Mr. Pony Fan! by The Rid on June 07, 2005
  569. Ladies and Gentlemen A TALKING PENIS PART 3 by Klause Muppet on June 08, 2005
  570. Professional Chainsaw Operation by Klause Muppet on June 08, 2005
  571. You know who I fuck? by Shane on June 09, 2005
  572. I decided to try my luck by Turgid on June 09, 2005
  573. Ladies and Gentlemen, A SILENT PENIS! by Mr. Critic on June 10, 2005
  574. ad muppetem by Klause Muppet on June 10, 2005
  575. Former Attorney General Edwin Meese by Streifenbeuteldachs on June 11, 2005
  576. For Joan Baez by Partytime on June 12, 2005
  577. Is the caller there? by Kenji X on June 13, 2005
  578. Short Fat Naked Mexican Rid by Klause Muppet on June 14, 2005
  579. Graf by Litcube on June 14, 2005
  580. This Timeline Entry Is Added by Streifenbeuteldachs on June 14, 2005
  581. Some weeks prior I had solicited the services of the fair Trellise of Burgonshire, she being the village limner's wanton, nubile daughter, to accompany me to Newtopia's Ogasmiday orgifest on the third by Kenji X on June 16, 2005
  582. The Bright Side by Mr. Positive on June 17, 2005
  583. Karma by Sergio on June 17, 2005
  584. The smell by Templeton Dink on June 17, 2005
  585. Private Dick Simile Training by Kenji X on June 18, 2005
  586. "What does existential dread feel like?" by Turgid on June 21, 2005
  587. Glossed Over by Kenji X on June 21, 2005
  588. The Shower by Turgid on June 21, 2005
  589. I will vomit by Templeton Dink on June 21, 2005
  590. Fargle by Kenji X on June 22, 2005
  591. Spacelord returns to Earth in tears by Spacelord on June 22, 2005
  592. "So what do you do?" by Turgid on June 24, 2005
  593. Short Fat Naked Mexican Rid 2 by Klause Muppet on June 24, 2005
  594. Cheese Sundae by Kenji X on June 27, 2005
  595. Danny by Klause Muppet on June 28, 2005
  596. I have a tip for people out there who have trouble pushing through the last few reps of a power set. by Alfred P. Whitaker on June 28, 2005
  597. This just in by Kenji X on June 28, 2005
  598. Moribundo by Turgid on June 29, 2005
  599. The phone was ringing. by Klause Muppet on July 02, 2005
  600. pot a gold by Partytime on July 02, 2005
  601. Bangin' and Poppin' by Kenji X on July 07, 2005
  602. Anywhere else but here. by mr.coffee on July 07, 2005
  603. BBC Documentary Pilot: The World's Greatest... by Rafus Butler on July 11, 2005
  604. 28% of working women admitted to having sex with a coworker by Klause Muppet on July 12, 2005
  605. Goodbye, Cruel World by Kenji X on July 12, 2005
  606. Yankee Fan by Shane on July 14, 2005
  607. Grey pools of fog... by Litcube on July 19, 2005
  608. Ladies, lets call this meeting to order by Klause Muppet on July 20, 2005
  609. "Thanks for doing this on such short notice, Mike," said Dr. Bailey. by The Rid on July 25, 2005
  610. "Vagina," said Timmy. by The Rid on July 26, 2005
  611. *Sniff* by The Rid on July 26, 2005
  612. 100100 What am I to do? by Partytime on July 26, 2005
  613. An addendum to a previous explanation by Shane on July 28, 2005
  614. It was men’s basketball. by Mr. Critic on July 29, 2005
  615. Johnny contemplated the prostitute before him. by The Rid on July 29, 2005
  616. Some Barnacles from my July Notebook: by Partytime on August 01, 2005
  617. I was enjoying a drink with John Kerry by Turgid on August 02, 2005
  618. Document #128 by Redacto on August 02, 2005
  619. Your average boring Sunday before football season starts by Kenji X on August 07, 2005
  620. Michael Penn's lament by Kenji X on August 07, 2005
  621. "That's it, nice and slow." by Kenji X on August 07, 2005
  622. Ladies and Gentlemen, a Silent PENIS! Part 2 by Mr. Critic on August 10, 2005
  623. Autumn by Turgid on August 11, 2005
  624. “Boy, I want to tell yew something." by The Rid on August 12, 2005
  625. Tom and me were watching porn together. by Kenji X on August 14, 2005
  626. The city had ordered all tenants in the slum to vacate by noon. by The Rid on August 15, 2005
  627. The Surgery by Streifenbeuteldachs on August 16, 2005
  628. A little improv for your boy in the Army. by Kenji X on August 16, 2005
  629. Captain Thad Starquest and the Emissary of Bulon-Delta 9 by Kenji X on August 16, 2005
  630. Hi koo by Kenji X on August 16, 2005
  631. Greek by Turgid on August 17, 2005
  632. INTER-MATCH.COM by Shane on August 19, 2005
  633. Everyone will hate this short, but its heart is in the right place! by Mr. Positive on August 19, 2005
  634. Japan:2005 If a saw one more shitty egg by itasta090 on August 19, 2005
  635. Science by Kenji X on August 20, 2005
  636. I lifted my eyelids slowly, part 2. by The Rid on August 22, 2005
  637. The Flower Painting by Adolf Hitler on August 22, 2005
  638. Midsummer Mishap by Turgid on August 25, 2005
  639. So I go to the pharmacy by Litcube on August 26, 2005
  640. I want chiseled abs. by Klause Muppet on August 26, 2005
  641. Toby Miracle takes a shit by Kenji X on August 27, 2005
  642. In response to your last two questions: by grandpa on August 27, 2005
  643. Matt and Lynn had a session with Bill, their counselor. by Mr. Negative on August 29, 2005
  644. I haven't written a short that's explicitly about fucking in a long time. by The Rid on August 30, 2005
  645. Zach de la Rocha was getting butt-raped in a Mexican prison. by The Rid on August 30, 2005
  646. Supermodel Starfish by itasta090 on August 31, 2005
  647. My big brother by Turgid on September 01, 2005
  648. Angela's tits were too small. by Klause Muppet on September 02, 2005
  649. Patricia by Klause Muppet on September 10, 2005
  650. acme@home by Klause Muppet on September 10, 2005
  651. The waitress was hot. by Klause Muppet on September 11, 2005
  652. The Singing Cab Driver by The Rid on September 11, 2005
  653. I couldn't help it. by Turgid on September 14, 2005
  654. SHE NEEDS A LOT OF HELP. by cuntry on September 19, 2005
  655. Friday Night TV by Klause Muppet on September 19, 2005
  656. Why don't Rid and Shane make eye contact much anymore? by Shane on September 20, 2005
  657. New Additions. by Pix on September 21, 2005
  658. Next Friday by Klause Muppet on September 22, 2005
  659. The Last Friday Night. by Klause Muppet on September 23, 2005
  660. Fyornch II by Streifenbeuteldachs on September 27, 2005
  661. I'm so sick of twins. by Turgid on September 30, 2005
  662. In the universe in which I operate... by Turgid on September 30, 2005
  663. Litcube was all like “Welcome back Striefen?” by Klause Muppet on October 04, 2005
  664. Dear Journal by itasta090 on October 10, 2005
  665. Tick tock. Tick tock. Tick tock. by Klause Muppet on October 10, 2005
  666. Vitamin B2 by Streifenbeuteldachs on October 14, 2005
  667. Shoot my dick, Brady! by Klause Muppet on October 14, 2005
  668. Retarded Mexican Day-Laborer by Streifenbeuteldachs on October 26, 2005
  669. I think my penis has a mind of its own. by Turgid on October 27, 2005
  670. . by Partytime on October 28, 2005
  671. Coolio entered my local coffee joint and I was like, no way. by cuntry on November 16, 2005
  672. Beneath the streets of Gordo... by Poop on November 19, 2005
  673. im 13 and a half or there abouts by Coleoptera King on November 20, 2005
  674. "boobs. boobs." by Klause Muppet on December 01, 2005
  675. How Late One Night I Was Eating Breakfas by Luthius Badapple on December 02, 2005
  676. Nikipedia Word of the Week: AUGUST by Luthius Badapple on December 06, 2005
  677. ZBT by Partytime on December 22, 2005
  678. Ocoyopo took a moment to ponder the beauty of the strip-mined valley that stretched far below him, as far as the eye could see. by Metavore on December 30, 2005
  679. Chone replaced the 50mv capacitor with a 100mv beauty he had hauled out of a mobile Newtonian reflecting telescope the previous week. by Metavore on December 30, 2005
  680. Jeffrey was. by kidduffah on January 04, 2006
  681. I like... by Klause Muppet on January 16, 2006
  682. A Polished Guy by TertiaryWinesAreTheOnlyWinesForMe on January 24, 2006
  683. The holy man stood motionless in the center of the market. by William Asp on January 28, 2006
  684. Meat Market by William Asp on February 02, 2006
  685. Wha' Happened? by Klause Muppet on February 13, 2006
  686. The Critic by Master Bates on February 28, 2006
  687. toothless vampire by Master Bates on March 02, 2006
  688. MY NAME IS JETHRO. by forjethro on March 03, 2006
  689. my wife ally barone... by forjethro on March 03, 2006
  690. I am very skilled by Turgid on March 03, 2006
  691. Not My Favorite by Master Bates on March 05, 2006
  692. "Dad, why is the sky so blue?" by Master Bates on March 05, 2006
  693. I knew there was trouble in my marriage... by kingbill on March 11, 2006
  694. Destiny. by Master Bates on March 12, 2006
  695. paper or plastic by Master Bates on March 18, 2006
  696. old g by Master Bates on March 18, 2006
  697. I was listening to my music this afternoon. by theeandthem on March 18, 2006
  698. Today I was in the shower by Coleoptera King on March 25, 2006
  699. YOU by Master Bates on March 27, 2006
  700. prepositions by Coleoptera King on March 30, 2006
  701. nature of the wager by Master Bates on April 03, 2006
  702. Sometimes I get excited! by Master Bates on April 07, 2006
  703. The Legend of Tammy Hollow by Master Bates on April 10, 2006
  704. Creation Myth by Daphne on April 11, 2006
  705. Devil May Cry by Master Bates on April 16, 2006
  706. The Way by Master Bates on April 16, 2006
  707. Your mama came by Master Bates on April 16, 2006
  708. P.M.B. rocks! by Master Bates on April 18, 2006
  709. Drought (Approx. 400 wds.) by mgreen100 on April 21, 2006
  710. A cleptomaniac and a prostitute walk into a bar... by Master Bates on April 22, 2006
  711. Thank God for Duct Tape! by Master Bates on April 22, 2006
  712. chick shits nickels by Master Bates on April 22, 2006
  713. Fatback Critter Rack by Master Bates on May 03, 2006
  714. shine on, crazy diamond by Master Bates on May 05, 2006
  715. vegas postcard by Master Bates on May 05, 2006
  716. jellybean pebble by Master Bates on May 05, 2006
  717. Ashley? by Master Bates on May 05, 2006
  718. Basement dwellers 3 by Master Bates on May 05, 2006
  719. Clown Trauma Support Group (CTSG) by Master Bates on May 05, 2006
  720. Dojo of Life by Master Bates on May 05, 2006
  721. ' by Master Bates on May 05, 2006
  722. plan the work & work the plan by Master Bates on May 07, 2006
  723. There was this dancer I knew who used to pee in a paper cup and throw it off the Brooklyn Bridge for good luck. by pasty on May 12, 2006
  724. Jon stood in line at the Royal Bank by Litcube on May 12, 2006
  725. Flesh, American, Flesh. by pasty on May 12, 2006
  726. I woke up this morning and my penis was gone. by pasty on May 15, 2006
  727. Jenkins awoke at 6:15 ... by mgreen100 on May 20, 2006
  728. On Bulbus Rak by Master Bates on May 25, 2006
  729. Richard... by Klause Muppet on June 08, 2006
  730. Shirk by tucker on June 09, 2006
  731. Tribute to Microman -August 2004 by Ferucio P. Chhretan on June 15, 2006
  732. Frisco by Turgid on June 19, 2006
  733. Hold Up by tucker on June 20, 2006
  734. by annebot on June 24, 2006
  735. eat-n-Read by Master Bates on July 01, 2006
  736. Richard's a... by Klause Muppet on July 06, 2006
  737. Another objet trouve', courtesy of the J-Dog. by Mr. Joshua on July 06, 2006
  738. Telling the Truth by Rod Drake on July 15, 2006
  739. Post-feminist Gags by Turgid on August 23, 2006
  740. She nuzzled him with her germy probiscus by Master Bates on August 26, 2006
  741. Hot Haiku Madness by Rod Drake on August 26, 2006
  742. soo anybody else like poopy girls? by crutchofsociety on September 03, 2006
  743. Reading, Writing and Arithmetic by The Name Is Dalton on September 05, 2006
  744. do all british people drink tea by thecrutchofsociety on September 06, 2006
  745. end mid sentence after a clause with an ellipsis… by mixelpix on September 13, 2006
  746. Saturday night. Peacocked to the gills... by Streifenbeuteldachs on September 14, 2006
  747. I walked along the slimy excuse for a bridge and saw the harbor over the hill. by dhastie3000 on September 15, 2006
  748. WATCH YOUR BACK by thecrutchofsociety on September 18, 2006
  749. ?????????????????? by thecrutchofsociety on September 19, 2006
  750. flicked it on by Master Bates on September 19, 2006
  751. Sperms by Streifenbeuteldachs on September 20, 2006
  752. Medication by Streifenbeuteldachs on September 20, 2006
  753. Birthday 29 by Streifenbeuteldachs on September 20, 2006
  754. Phone by Streifenbeuteldachs on September 20, 2006
  755. la la la la la i admit defeate by the_fuckin_bob on September 21, 2006
  756. MY BODY TURNS COACAINE INTO PURE ENERGY by the_fuckin_bob on September 21, 2006
  757. the sidewalk nods hello, 'both coppers, good Sir' by mixelpix on September 21, 2006
  758. I have a theory by The Name Is Dalton on September 23, 2006
  759. !All for Rodney by Master Bates on October 05, 2006
  760. when i type the string of text, acme shorts by mixelpix on October 06, 2006
  761. Did you mean, EAMYSHORTS ? by mixelpix on October 06, 2006
  762. Quests-Part 1 by dhastie3000 on October 11, 2006
  763. Quest- part 2 by dhastie3000 on October 11, 2006
  764. Quest- part 3 by dhastie3000 on October 11, 2006
  765. Quest- part 4 by dhastie3000 on October 11, 2006
  766. Quests- part 5 by dhastie3000 on October 11, 2006
  767. Herpes by Streifenbeuteldachs on October 23, 2006
  768. roadshow by Master Bates on October 26, 2006
  769. My stomach is bulging and soon it will look like a crater... by Zetetic on October 28, 2006
  770. CHIP'd by Master Bates on November 01, 2006
  771. Vandalism: A Study by Streifenbeuteldachs on November 05, 2006
  772. why is that when others find something to be true every one around them does as well by the_fuckin_bob on November 08, 2006
  773. hello friends in Acmeshorts by Gorilla Saladress on November 13, 2006
  774. I am going to my enemy's house by Master Bates on December 06, 2006
  775. Not sure where this text is from but it was attached to weightloss pills spam. mostly i like the last sentence. And the syrup-titious usage of quote. Mmm, syrup. by mixelpix on December 09, 2006
  776. Timothy and Consuelo: A Tender Moment by blow-up on December 28, 2006
  777. The Adventure Clan hang out! by blow-up on December 28, 2006
  778. A Manly Love Story by blow-up on December 29, 2006
  779. Terri the Turtle makes the perfect turkey sandwich! by blow-up on December 29, 2006
  780. Another Terri the Turtle adventure! by blow-up on December 29, 2006
  781. Mr Muffins in the cancer ward. by blow-up on December 31, 2006
  782. Mr Muffins's muthaphuckkin tribute to the fallen homies. by blow-up on January 01, 2007
  783. Madame Bovary by blow-up on January 01, 2007
  784. Timothy's backstory ... by blow-up on January 03, 2007
  785. Tons O' Trouble for Terri the Turtle by blow-up on January 05, 2007
  786. Take a tour of my house by blow-up on January 06, 2007
  787. Terri and Timothy Have a Discussion by blow-up on January 12, 2007
  788. The Tyrant by hamsund on January 17, 2007
  789. The Amstels practically wrote this story themselves. by blow-up on January 17, 2007
  790. I think no one's ever thought about this before. by blow-up on January 18, 2007
  791. rosebud, VAM, and Shawn by Master Bates on January 19, 2007
  792. Hey, let's see if we can make a lame political joke funny! by blow-up on January 19, 2007
  793. Dear Terri the Turtle ... by blow-up on January 19, 2007
  794. Uncle Lenin by blow-up on January 20, 2007
  795. Don't read this short. Really. by blow-up on January 20, 2007
  796. Dear Consuelo ... by blow-up on January 22, 2007
  797. I want to have my butt-hair dyed. by blow-up on January 27, 2007
  798. Terri the Turtle rolled onto his back and stared at the sun by blow-up on January 27, 2007
  799. little bitty penny makes a great big Dollar! by Master Bates on February 08, 2007
  800. A.I.S.W.U! by Master Bates on February 28, 2007
  801. Garbage Man by charlesg928 on March 14, 2007
  802. Sleeping In by Klause Muppet on March 24, 2007
  803. unimpressed by Klause Muppet on March 29, 2007
  804. Arctic Circle of Trust by Master Bates on March 29, 2007
  805. Meanwhile, back at the Bat Cave by Master Bates on April 10, 2007
  806. It was disconcerting and yet comforting... by Plumster on April 14, 2007
  807. A Decent Sort by Plumster on April 15, 2007
  808. not too much fun by Master Bates on May 15, 2007
  809. A Mother's Day Greeting from Mr Muffins by blow-up on May 21, 2007
  810. Mr Muffins buried his mouth in the wiry-haired muff. by blow-up on May 22, 2007
  811. Democratic Bone-off by Master Bates on May 30, 2007
  812. Yo, rocker chicks never tell you the truth, yo--Size DOES matter! by Lady Pissant on June 27, 2007
  813. "What is that I smell?" asked the man in the back of the class in broken English. by Lady Pissant on June 27, 2007
  814. know ye, know ye by Master Bates on June 27, 2007
  815. finally alone by Mylittlepony on June 30, 2007
  816. Hot Flash Fiction Groupie! by Master Bates on September 26, 2007
  817. . by Pix on November 16, 2007
  818. BTB by Master Bates on November 19, 2007
  819. theridvol2ep2 by Klause Muppet on December 10, 2007
  820. fellas, i spent the weekend, four days, in houston by SwalpfRag on December 10, 2007
  821. When Osama Knocked a Mother Out by Master Bates on December 17, 2007
  822. Jazz Cat. That's what it said. by cuntry on January 10, 2008
  823. LOL- do you remember this? by Marvin_Bernstein on March 22, 2008
  824. October 10, 2006: Today was my 14th birthday. by mgreen100 on April 25, 2008
  825. Yeah, they call me Woody Woodpecker. by Master Bates on May 19, 2008
  826. I went to the Tubs with two objectives in mind by Coleoptera King on August 06, 2008
  827. Hi Everybody! This is my first time posting on the sight. I by Mr. Joshua on September 11, 2008
  828. butter up the poobie by unklespaz on February 27, 2009
  829. Art Film by Rod Drake by Rod Drake on March 25, 2009
  830. Losing My Mind by Rod Drake Dr. Gene by Rod Drake on April 14, 2009
  831. I just got one of those metal detectors and boy, is it fun! by Master Bates on May 14, 2009
  832. Grades by Rod Drake by Rod Drake on July 17, 2009
  833. short summary of acme by Mylittlepony on July 29, 2009
  834. Rewrite by Rod Drake by Rod Drake on August 21, 2009
  835. A Hollywood Myth by Rod Drake by Rod Drake on September 03, 2009
  836. jajajajaja by Mylittlepony on October 14, 2009
  837. Blake Butter continued to lament his last name. by hoof on November 07, 2009
  838. Screenplay Entitled the "bad emogoth vampire" by Marvin_Bernstein on December 30, 2009
  839. Bob Dylan sat on a stool at the Gaslight, guitar in hand, harmonica around his neck. by The Rid on March 10, 2010
  840. He liked to buttfuck by Marvin_Bernstein on April 14, 2010
  841. Prequel: the real story of Pony, the one behind the legend and the man that you didn't know you knew. by Marvin_Bernstein on April 25, 2010
  842. the emogoth vampire becomes a police officer by Marvin_Bernstein on May 04, 2010
  843. the story of Pegeviny Polishowski by Marvin_Bernstein on May 04, 2010
  844. bernie destroyed another blowup doll by Marvin_Bernstein on August 07, 2010
  845. Mr. Jinshin had a fungus by Marvin_Bernstein on August 09, 2010
  846. He liked to buttfuck part II by Marvin_Bernstein on August 31, 2010
  847. it wasn't clear whether it was his cum butter or smegma or both by Marvin_Bernstein on August 31, 2010
  848. Yours truly by Master Bates on October 31, 2010
  849. Christmas Wish by Master Bates on December 11, 2010
  850. Gavinhaptitali Ruvinperhaij took a shit by Marvin_Bernstein on January 21, 2011
  851. Timothy Geithner had to adjust the economics. by Marvin_Bernstein on January 22, 2011
  852. it was a good day for realization by Marvin_Bernstein on January 22, 2011
  853. Rednave Eiknarf was stuck on the toilet for most of the morning. by Marvin Bernstein on February 13, 2011
  854. it was the secret of the old country that made it so special by Marvin_Bernstein on February 20, 2011
  855. the typical alpha acme male by tyranosaurus_pee_pee on February 21, 2011
  856. Danger? Danger is my middle name. by Marvin The Word Underscore Bernstein on March 07, 2011
  857. Scheiße by Marvin_Bernstein on March 29, 2011
  858. Sidwell etc. by Mr. Joshua on May 04, 2011
  859. me an scoop by Marvin_Bernstein on May 30, 2011
  860. dave the astral meditation teacher by Marvin_Bernstein on July 09, 2011
  861. Richard (Dick Humplick) by Marvin_Bernstein on July 22, 2011
  862. chewbacca had the trotts by Marvin_Bernstein on July 28, 2011
  863. this is bullshit by Marvin_Bernstein on September 13, 2011
  864. Milky the flacid penis .... by shit_bitch on March 11, 2012
  865. J-DOG by Mr. Joshua on May 05, 2012
  866. Title: dickie dick dong and the vagina computer by pointy_hat_herman_ on May 08, 2012
  867. I wouldn't worry too much about those lumps by Master Bates on July 03, 2012
  868. the president had a very serious message by Marvin_Bernstein on September 28, 2012
  869. Daddy, what happened then? by Marvin_Bernstein on October 17, 2012
  870. with my dog by Marvin_Bernstein on May 29, 2014
  871. Spring romance by Marvin_Bernstein on May 29, 2014