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Guest Shorts

Johnny was new in town. by Texxx on February 28, 2003
"Ha Ha! Peter Poopy Poopy Pants!" by Slappy White on April 30, 2003
Unsuspecting swimmers who pass through an invisible swarm of thimble jellyfish larvae... by tankini on May 07, 2003
Short, Thoroughly Disturbing Poems by Texxx on May 08, 2003
"This blows. Or should I say, 'Arrrrgh. This blows.'" by Texxx on May 08, 2003
With just an hour of work left in the day... by Texxx on May 08, 2003
Lana finally got her period when she was 15 and it was so not a big deal. by cuntry on May 09, 2003
"But your honor," said the deaf man, "I've written my final summation in brail." by Noah Simple on May 09, 2003
Pablo was mere millimeters away. by Dolemite on May 09, 2003
Called upon to speak about her first sexual experience, Dana was practically cumming. by cuntry on May 09, 2003
There is a scientific definition for the "female of the species," Frank thought, and it haunted him. by Joe Frankenstone on May 09, 2003
To be frank, Cara loved to poop. by cuntry on May 09, 2003
“So you’re going?” she asks. by Jaye on May 10, 2003
Oh no. I hate green peppers. by Dolemite on May 16, 2003
Peter seemingly had everything going for him. by Dolemite on May 21, 2003
A Hasidic Tale by Ned J. Soyor on May 30, 2003
As Henrietta received her soon-to-be father-in-law's beefy manhood... by Dolemite on June 20, 2003
Tom Collins couldn't really be qualified as 'new' anymore. by Texxx on June 27, 2003
Singapore Mixes Singlish, Hip-Hop To Nix SARS by Slappy White on July 15, 2003
The turd was suspended then, suspended like the Great Tuskanini... by Noah Simple on July 29, 2003
As Edwin nervously entered the company president's office to negotiate what he considered to be a 'well-deserved' raise... by Texxx on July 30, 2003
“Have you ever noticed,” she asked him... by sad sack on August 03, 2003
During a layover at the airport... by Texxx on August 09, 2003
Jim sat back at his desk, as he did every morning, with his robe open and his quickly-hardening cock in his hand. by Joe Frankenstone on August 17, 2003
Jill was surprised to see a man with whom she'd had a one night stand several years before... by VanDilden on August 18, 2003
Jim Davis sucks. by Joe Frankenstone on August 26, 2003
'ridiculozz', by the Ridiculous by riverfr0zen on August 28, 2003
yet another love poem by riverfr0zen on August 28, 2003
She looks good. by sad sack on September 02, 2003
Valerie hates to be constipated. by tankini on September 03, 2003
Never 'assume' anything. You know what 'assume' does? by Texxx on September 04, 2003
Protagonist: "So, I’m sitting at a table alongside three remarkably bad directors...." by Texxx on September 09, 2003
NY Times, Sunday Book Review, 08.14.03 by Texxx on September 12, 2003
From "The Best of 'Muddled Analogies,' Volume 1" by Texxx on September 26, 2003
I lay inside myself at the bottom of my stomach. by airea on October 07, 2003
Little Johnny McMillan stood above the toilet gazing lovingly at his turd. by Dolemite on October 21, 2003
Mangina was more a combination... by Texxx on October 22, 2003
Modern Times, Vol. 3 by Texxx on October 24, 2003
Suddenly Tim turned and asked, "So Bob how's it going?" by Mafia Mike on October 29, 2003
He'd really done it this time. by Texxx on October 30, 2003
Life is so incomprehensible. So vague and unclear. by Loogy on November 16, 2003
If it wasn't one thing, it was the other. by Texxx on November 20, 2003
Cooley High, Episode 1A by Texxx on November 25, 2003
He had tried to make a clean break this time by Texxx on November 29, 2003
As Thomas Gunderson slapped Susie McMillan’s cum-drenched forehead with the tip of his penis... by Dolemite on December 01, 2003
When he was alone, he dreamed of a marshmallow paradise. by Noah Simple on December 01, 2003
"Tip o'the foreskin to ya" by Texxx on December 02, 2003
Like the way a king emerges from his chamber to announce some long-awaited decree to his most loyal subjects... by Noah Simple on December 04, 2003
How Frankie Joined the Clergy by Texxx on December 08, 2003
I like to eat my own poop. by Will Disney Impostor on December 08, 2003
"Was she black?", inquired the owner/operator... by Mr. Joshua on December 08, 2003
Having just woken, and knowing he was mere seconds from getting into the shower... by Mr. Joshua on December 08, 2003
"Any jackass can get a 30 year fixed at 5.75 per cent", exclaimed the managing director. by Mr. Joshua on December 08, 2003
Pavlov couldn't help but reminisce... by Mr. Joshua on December 08, 2003
"I liked it when the unicorn flew through the rainbow in Madeleine L'Engel's 'A Wrinkle in Time'", exclaimed Farnsworth... by Mr. Joshua on December 09, 2003
"It's just all too Proustian", snivelled the smug little fuck... by Mr. Joshua on December 09, 2003
Farnsworth took advantage of the lull in the dinner party conversation to steer the discourse toward his favorite topic: Anal Hygiene. by Mr. Joshua on December 09, 2003
They all stood there, amazed. by Texxx on December 09, 2003
To All Before Me: by Texxx on December 10, 2003
The Holidays were always a tough time for Vicky. by cuntry on December 10, 2003
Standing in her shower, Trina liked to contemplate life’s possibilities. by cuntry on December 10, 2003
"Jurgen", cooed Daphne as she used the flat edge of her butter knife to extract the fresh, warm smegma nestled in the folds of the Aryan's rolled-back foreskin. by Mr. Joshua on December 10, 2003
Jeremy Cohen had used his computer to surf the internet... by Noah Simple on December 11, 2003
Teddy gave the piece of cardboard one more twist, and inserted it under his toenail. by cuntry on December 11, 2003
Excerpt from A Moveable Feast: Parallel Universe by Mr. Joshua on December 12, 2003
He joined her in the car just outside. by Texxx on December 16, 2003
"And if you 're gonna start telling me t by Rafus Butler on December 17, 2003
It was always during the holiday season by Mr. Joshua on December 20, 2003
"Money talks," Javier said, holding up two sparring George Washingtons. by Noah Simple on December 20, 2003
the poop box by Rafus Butler on December 27, 2003
"It ain't to late to go." said Dan. by Rafus Butler on December 30, 2003
"Pony here! Anyone order a pony?!?" by Rafus Butler on December 30, 2003
"Barkeep, a bottle of your cheapest champagne!" by Mr. Joshua on December 31, 2003
ER - "Healing Hospital" by Dolemite on January 02, 2004
...and Lord Havens had always been a reliable athletic supporter... by Texxx on January 04, 2004
A Very Racy Short by Mr. Joshua on January 06, 2004
Ever since I was a child I had special feelings for my mother. by Captain Crunch on January 07, 2004
"My balls!?" by Rafus Butler on January 08, 2004
An excerpt from "Madness! The Life and Times of Funnyman Jimmy Moore." by Texxx on January 08, 2004
It's a fact - those with big heads do better in life. by cuntry on January 12, 2004
"I been framed! I been framed!" by Texxx on January 13, 2004
"Devon, You hard?" by Rafus Butler on January 14, 2004
Jimmy quickly unzipped his pants and settled into his blue leather recliner. by Dolemite on January 15, 2004
Pissed Off Roomate: Woah, man! How much weed did you smoke? the shits thick in here as fabled london fog! by Joseph Keith on January 18, 2004
His double chin dripped of watery sour cream. by Joseph Keith on January 18, 2004
if there is a god his names are but an a by Joseph Keith on January 18, 2004
What trouble! Dylwan Matzpar had pissed himself again. by Texxx on January 20, 2004
Engulfed in the throes of passion by Texxx on January 20, 2004
“Dr. Goodfellow created me for several reasons,” said the taller, effete British robot while he rubbed the phallic steel dome of my head. by Joe Frankenstone on January 22, 2004
“Remember that Paris movie?” she asked. by Moe-Ron on January 22, 2004
Halfway to Reno by Texxx on January 26, 2004
The MCP gazed down upon the computer world, and fixed his sensors on Yori. by Slappy White on January 26, 2004
Dinner at Sienna by senator on January 27, 2004
“And we’ll have midget jousting, midget bowling, midget wrestling, a midget bar with tiny stools, and I definitely want a midget shot out of a cannon.” by senator on January 27, 2004
Wealth is within the Power of Your Reach by Texxx on January 28, 2004
Ensconced in furs and various synthetic trappings by Texxx on January 28, 2004
The porn stars were sticking dildos in each other’s cunts. by senator on January 28, 2004
The patient was a quivering mess of self-neglect and fear. by Lenny on January 28, 2004
There is a new phenomenon in town: The cowboy gangster rapper. by annebot on January 28, 2004
From the desk of apocalyptic futuristic weirdo by annebot on January 28, 2004
Kyrie totally could not believe this was happening. by VanDilden on January 28, 2004
"Good morning class." by Lenny on January 28, 2004
Ol' Ferguson always got the better of me. by Texxx on January 29, 2004
As I travailed upon the steep mountain slopes by Texxx on January 30, 2004
Tears streamed down Jordan’s face. by senator on January 30, 2004
HotLA6969: Mmmm... my pussy is so wet! by Slappy White on January 31, 2004
He woke in a cold sweat...remembering. by Joseph Keith on February 01, 2004
“Mmm yeah,” Dagoberto muttered to himself as he glanced at the blue 1” Avery Heavy-Duty EZD View Binder with Locking Rings on page 465 of the 2004 Boise Office Supply Catalog. by Dolemite on February 02, 2004
"You guys wanna hear something really scary?" by Texxx on February 03, 2004
"Unnnngggh....Unnggghhhh....Gggggnnnnnhhhh..." by Texxx on February 03, 2004
"Retarted muppets.............funny." by Lenny on February 04, 2004
"Existence = essence." by Lenny on February 04, 2004
I knew this was going to be one for the books. by senator on February 04, 2004
I challenged by Texxx on February 06, 2004
Way back in 1943 by Texxx on February 07, 2004
The new orderly stared at the aged, rotting frame of the once-great actress now in the maddening throws of dementia. by Lenny on February 11, 2004
Jarvinia hungrily eyed the succulent watermelon slices her mother Schmetterling carried towards the table. by Dolemite on February 12, 2004
The 'ol check-raise is what happened. by Noah Simple on February 12, 2004
As the greenhorn known only as 'Custodian Larry' stumbled by Texxx on February 12, 2004
DONALD FUCKING SUTHERLAND by port jervis on February 13, 2004
Have a nice trip, Jenson? See you next Fall! by senator on February 13, 2004
Sure, I was bored. by Texxx on February 13, 2004
"You worthless good-for-nothing....I don by Lenny on February 20, 2004
"Cunnilingus." by Texxx on February 20, 2004
Doe, a deer. A female deer. by port jervis on February 24, 2004
It was just like any other drug deal.... by annebot on February 24, 2004
Scheduled to be published Wednesday Morning, 3/3/2004. by port jervis on February 27, 2004
"Touch my face," said Terry, "Touch my face and you'll know it's true." by cuntry on March 03, 2004
Papa...? Yes, boy? What does it me by Rafus Butler on March 04, 2004
"Today I thought about secret things... by Moe-Ron on March 04, 2004
Stupid people shouldn't breed. by annebot on March 04, 2004
Tanya polished off a quart of green chicken curry and kicked back on her stained ikea counch. by cuntry on March 08, 2004
There used to be a town called Angry River nestled in the hills a hundred miles north of here by $ on March 14, 2004
The Allegory Stupid of Jacob Starfish PART I by Jacob Starfish on March 15, 2004
JT pedaled slowly up the up side of the Williamsburg bridge. by cuntry on March 15, 2004
Many gays were dancing at a bar outside on the beach in Fire Island. by Terrence on March 16, 2004
I was at the Gay Olympics competing as a long jumper. by Terrence on March 16, 2004
As the class silently completed their "Do Now," Jeff Dennington reclined, confidently, for the first time, in his chair. by Rafus Butler on March 17, 2004
"Will that be with or without the milk-mixture." by Rafus Butler on March 18, 2004
Dear Mr. Chuck E. Cheese by Dolemite on March 18, 2004
The Allegory Stupid of Jacob Starfish PART II by Jacob Starfish on March 18, 2004
Rick turned over to cop a feel... by Rafus Butler on March 22, 2004
The Allegory Stupid of Jacob Starfish PART III by Jacob Starfish on March 22, 2004
The Allegory Stupid of Jacob Starfish PART IV by Jacob Starfish on March 23, 2004
The Allegory Stupid of Jacob Starfish PART V by Jacob Starfish on March 24, 2004
The whole world changed on 9/11 but one thing didn't change i will never shop at the Barney's warehouse sale by Terrence on March 24, 2004
Literary Titans of the Parallel Universe: Episode II: Jane Austen's Pride and Prejudice by Mr. Joshua on March 24, 2004
Is that how you want to play it then... by Ferucio P. Chhretan on March 27, 2004
It was women’s basketball. by Cabot on March 30, 2004
Nine hours later the plane was landing in Guam, and the Molecule was feeling good. by mr.coffee on March 30, 2004
"No, no, no!" Terry protested vigorously, "That is where he breathes!" by Noah Simple on March 31, 2004
The line felt like a mosh-pit at a Sinatra show... by Cialis Sucks on March 31, 2004
I was going to be late for the movie. by Cabot on March 31, 2004
How could anyone’s pussy juice taste better than Rachel’s snatch cream? by Dolemite on April 01, 2004
My olfactory sense bludgeoned by an overdose of aromatherapy, I hasten to add that these chicks were fugly. by Cabot on April 01, 2004
Stinking Vengeance by Ferucio P. Chhretan on April 05, 2004
Awful Scientists by Ferucio P. Chhretan on April 05, 2004
All mimsy was my morning wood, upon it there did perch a gryndilow with great green lips which gave a mighty lurch.. by Maxwell Demon on April 05, 2004
Lash Witherspoon - A Blueballs™ Serial in 8 Parts by Cabot on April 05, 2004
Wednesday Was a Bitch by Cabot on April 05, 2004
The man in the back seat was singing, but in his addled state Rufus couldn't tell if it was a nursery rhyme or a sultry accapella by some long dead starlet. by Ferucio P. Chhretan on April 07, 2004
Vignette by Maxwell Demon on April 08, 2004
Dear Monty by Cabot on April 08, 2004
This was the cocktail: one part fish oil, one part bear dung, two parts mustard gas peppered with Tabasco and venom. by Lola on April 08, 2004
Poor Bear by Ferucio P. Chhretan on April 09, 2004
Awful Scientists 2 by Ferucio P. Chhretan on April 11, 2004
I was jogging down Rycroft Street, going to the cornershop when I saw God. by Ferucio P. Chhretan on April 13, 2004
DES MOINES (AP) by Cabot on April 14, 2004
Lord Glanthron reclined in the soft plush of his daybed and reflected on the events of the evening. by Destroyah on April 15, 2004
Jimmy sat on the front stoop and raised the magnifying glass, by Maxwell Demon on April 16, 2004
Larry the straight hairdresser wanted to bed his 2:30. by Maxwell Demon on April 16, 2004
Awful Scientists 3 by Ferucio P. Chhretan on April 16, 2004
Awful Scientists Epilogue by Ferucio P. Chhretan on April 16, 2004
Not Again by Ferucio P. Chhretan on April 16, 2004
Michael Andretti eased himself comfortably into the cockpit, his Sparco suit whispering against the corded seatback. by Tiddlycove on April 20, 2004
As usual, he vetted the others in the elevator car … by Tiddlycove on April 22, 2004
I just love when a niggah brings his whole crew. by senator on April 26, 2004
Having just given Tommy what she described as a "courtesy hand-job" in the front seat of his car in the parking lot... by J. Edgar on April 28, 2004
Somewhere in upper region of a Dyson sphere on the far side of the galaxy... by Maxwell Demon on April 28, 2004
Lonely Robot #832 by Ferucio P. Chhretan on April 30, 2004
santa again? by Ferucio P. Chhretan on May 02, 2004
Stranded by Ferucio P. Chhretan on May 02, 2004
The day began pleasantly enough. by Herm on May 04, 2004
the very best... by Ferucio P. Chhretan on May 08, 2004
There are rules in life, son. by Cooper Green on May 13, 2004
a found object short by Ferucio P. Chhretan on May 14, 2004
Kemosabe? by Ferucio P. Chhretan on May 14, 2004
The Cleaner by Pix on May 15, 2004
As readers will doubtless deduce from the tale to follow... by Herm on May 17, 2004
Jake’s mouse hand shook from the torrid action of his wank hand. by Cooper Green on May 18, 2004
In the event that my spouse predeceases me … by Cooper Green on May 20, 2004
Ewan Snow Fan Fiction by Mr. Joshua on May 20, 2004
Another Short with Shit in it by Ferucio P. Chhretan on May 25, 2004
"What is it, Lopsang?” by Cooper Green on May 30, 2004
Smartey Jones by Mr. Joshua on June 01, 2004
If you love your girl... by annebot on June 02, 2004
It had been over an hour since Laszlo had pinched a loaf ... by Cooper Green on June 04, 2004
Pax Britannia! by Ferucio P. Chhretan on June 09, 2004
The Molecule ran into the public bathroom... by mr.coffee on June 10, 2004
Two turds were walking together along the boardwalk. by James K. Polk on June 14, 2004
Nobody doubts I have a great rapport with the ladies. by John Matza on June 16, 2004
Jefferson by Pix on June 19, 2004
Savanna gagged on Rocco’s massive cock as mucous and saliva spewed forth from every crevice of her mouth. by Dolemite on June 22, 2004
House Breaking by Cooper Green on June 22, 2004
The seal-like boy, titted, tanned, still wet from the ocean, sat in sopping swim trunks upon the wooden picnic table. by Great Satan on June 24, 2004
I sort of wish I was a woman sometimes. by James K. Polk on June 24, 2004
Stall Challenge by Ferucio P. Chhretan on June 25, 2004
Pants by Litcube on June 25, 2004
First appearance of Pants by Klause Muppet on June 25, 2004
Today is my 12th birthday by Pix on July 01, 2004
Canadian Bait by Cooper Green on July 08, 2004
Jesus Fucking Christ, what have I done? by 25squared on July 08, 2004
The Blondes New Clothes by Pix on July 09, 2004
I am being held captive. by Kruger on July 11, 2004
In my current circumstance. by Kruger on July 11, 2004
It all started one day when Stephanie Jordan, a beautiful young 20-year old black girl, discovered the huge endowment on her horse, Chester. by Coleoptera King on July 11, 2004
I am sure. by Kruger on July 12, 2004
It is Kruger speaking. by Kruger on July 12, 2004
Pants 2 by Litcube on July 13, 2004
Something felt really good about this flow. by Stash on July 14, 2004
I’m just waiting to meet the right girl. by James K. Polk on July 15, 2004
A priest, a rabbi, and a Branch Davidian were in a daisy chain. by James K. Polk on July 15, 2004
Pre laces up... by 25squared on July 15, 2004
Lock up cross street catch cab. by Pix on July 16, 2004
This is what a soul looks like... by hotcancer on July 16, 2004
What's your favorite way to be raped? by Stash on July 20, 2004
I invented a smallification device which I’d been using to shrink myself and a bio-submarine down Fantastic Voyage-style for a little medical research project I was doing. by Richard Bachman on July 20, 2004
It remains the coolest breakup I know. by Bogedita on July 20, 2004
We were high and drunk and were anticipating a night of rampant snogging (or at least I was) and we stumbled into the little Cantonese restaurant down the street from my apartment. by Bogedita on July 21, 2004
So there I was . . .standing on a cold gray sidewalk in Times Square, confused and shivering when I realized . . . by pecker on July 28, 2004
Ambrosia…I think not. by pecker on July 28, 2004
Antidisestablishmentarianisim. by toobs on August 03, 2004
I remember a year ago when Chazz approached me and asked if I'd be his lead drummer... by Noah Simple on August 04, 2004
R.L. Stine’s Haunted Lighthouse 4-D Review by Dolemite on August 04, 2004
Pants 3 by Litcube on August 10, 2004
Another late night at the law offices of Sandinski, Hathowell and Kent. by Great Satan on August 12, 2004
Another Thing That Happened to Me by Jacob Starfish on August 18, 2004
A long time ago, there were all these girls I wanted to have sex with. by Jacob Starfish on August 18, 2004
When I was up in Heaven, I really was expecting an office metaphor. by Jacob Starfish on August 18, 2004
Cranky Animal by Ferucio P. Chhretan on August 21, 2004
Yeasty by toobs on August 23, 2004
pants4 by Litcube on August 27, 2004
pants5 by Litcube on August 27, 2004
pants6 by Litcube on August 27, 2004
It was the most embarrassing moment in my life. by Pix on August 28, 2004
I finally had the balls to do it. by Streifenbeuteldachs on September 01, 2004
"Kobe's free, Kobe's free." by Pods on September 02, 2004
Waking up in a dumpster was never easy for Bill. by Fitzcarralldo on September 08, 2004
"Down, damned dog!" Dorkish Dick dittered. by Fitzcarralldo on September 09, 2004
Holy shit. This is the most terrifying vagina I've ever jammed my chin into. by Yahzick on September 09, 2004
DAISY DAIRYLOVER is a 26 x half hour animated series for kids... by cuntry on September 09, 2004
Reginald Fitzhenry, the newly, democratically elected president of Canada shivered and pulled his wolfskin cape closer about his lean, strong body. by Fitzcarralldo on September 10, 2004
Lord of the rings bloopers and deleted scenes. by Fitzcarralldo on September 10, 2004
Today, I wake up, and my roommate leaves, because his mom and dad are in town from Canada. by Streifenbeuteldachs on September 12, 2004
Aesop’s Modern Fables by Turgid on September 13, 2004
pants7 by Litcube on September 16, 2004
pants8 by Litcube on September 16, 2004
pants10 by Litcube on September 16, 2004
Lord of the Rings outtakes and bloopers part 2 by Fitzcarralldo on September 18, 2004
An entire career of hard work had been spent in the making... by Streifenbeuteldachs on September 19, 2004
Aaron by Bogedita on September 20, 2004
Jack let fly with a perfect spiral, aimed just to the left of his eleven year old son. by Streifenbeuteldachs on September 22, 2004
"Asia," remarked Metternich... by Streifenbeuteldachs on September 25, 2004
"This nigger plays a mean game," thought Bobby Fisher. by what on September 26, 2004
by Litcube on September 26, 2004
by Streifenbeuteldachs on September 26, 2004
My name is Joe Frankenstone. by Cuntbreath on September 28, 2004
"What I'm about to show you is utterly shocking" by Turgid on September 29, 2004
I have moderate views and don’t like folks who get all hot under the collar when discussing politics. by James K. Polk on September 29, 2004
I find tapeworms to be spiritually edifying. by Streifenbeuteldachs on September 30, 2004
I am Lady Slatternly's Lover by Turgid on September 30, 2004
Travelogue, Czech Republic, September by Turgid on September 30, 2004
I plan to coach the winner of Mr. Universe 2034. by Streifenbeuteldachs on October 01, 2004
Every day after kindergarten, before his mother returned home, Jeffrey would use the family computer to google for porn. by Streifenbeuteldachs on October 01, 2004
Pants 11 by Litcube on October 01, 2004
Smuckers huh? by Fitzcarralldo on October 03, 2004
Zebulon Pike's meaty fist worked its way relentlessly along his turgid member. by Streifenbeuteldachs on October 03, 2004
I was just sitting here, stupidly looking at old e-mails from my most recent ex-girlfriend. by The Rid on October 04, 2004
My ex-girlfriend once asked what it was like to feel like a cumsponge. by The Rid on October 05, 2004
HOLY SHIT YOU GUYS!!!!!!!! by Ol‘ Summer Sausage on October 05, 2004
When I throw parties... by Yahzick on October 05, 2004
Grace Jones tried her best to intimidate the reflection she now saw in the mirror. by Turgid on October 06, 2004
Pants 13 by Litcube on October 07, 2004
Chauncey, a young man who had been raised by the twin shadows of solitude and iniquity... by Chance the Gardener on October 07, 2004
Seriously. by Litcube on October 07, 2004
No, really. by Litcube on October 07, 2004
"Ya got a fag?" asked the stranger. by The Rid on October 08, 2004
What the hell by Pix on October 09, 2004
Gina was totally, like, the hottest girl I'd ever seen, okay? by The Rid on October 10, 2004
Aesop’s Modern Fables (#2) by Turgid on October 11, 2004
Remembering 1999 by Turgid on October 12, 2004
Fred and I were en route to the Communist gangbang. by The Rid on October 12, 2004
“Can I borrow your hack-saw?” by Alfred P. Whitaker on October 15, 2004
Survival Guide to Fellating King Midas by Streifenbeuteldachs on October 16, 2004
Travelogue, Czech Republic, October by Turgid on October 19, 2004
I'm a good guy, but yeah, I've made some mistakes. by Mr. Joshua on October 20, 2004
Office Hilarity by Turgid on October 21, 2004
I tell you, I just can't take it if a person's speech doesn't match their countenance. by Streifenbeuteldachs on October 23, 2004
"Egad!" by The Rid on October 23, 2004
Ever since the amputation of my legs, I've been unable to hold my liquor. by Streifenbeuteldachs on October 24, 2004
"You wanna see that gaping pussy, huh?" by The Rid on October 26, 2004
He felt something in the corner of his mouth by The Rid on October 28, 2004
Some Chicks Freak Out by The Rid on October 29, 2004
Jeffery by Litcube on October 29, 2004
My cell phone rang. by The Rid on October 30, 2004
Oh yes! Oh my, screamed Belinda. by Streifenbeuteldachs on October 30, 2004
Egad! 2 by The Rid on November 03, 2004
One Night at Gristede's by The Rid on November 04, 2004
Scrither Mcdago stood quietly waiting his turn in the change rooms. by TREE on November 04, 2004
LOOK MOM!! by TREE on November 04, 2004
Schoolboy Memories by Turgid on November 04, 2004
pain lanced his skull by TREE on November 05, 2004
Confessions of a Real Estate Broker by Mr. Joshua on November 08, 2004
John Kerry sat on the armrest of the couch, anxiously awaiting the result of Florida's tally. by CornHole22 on November 09, 2004
You know what's depressing? by Turgid on November 09, 2004
by Litcube on November 09, 2004
by Streifenbeuteldachs on November 09, 2004
by cuntry on November 09, 2004
The Lovejoy Account by scoop's brain on November 10, 2004
In The Office by cuntry on November 11, 2004
It was hard being an emotionally reticent movie star. by The Rid on November 11, 2004
Metamorfosizz by Turgid on November 11, 2004
The DVD Conundrum by The Rid on November 13, 2004
I am the very model of a fighting Retiarius. by Streifenbeuteldachs on November 15, 2004
It was a really good first date by The Rid on November 15, 2004
Remembering 1996 by Turgid on November 15, 2004
Hateful Breakup Short! by The Rid on November 16, 2004
Travelogue, Czech Republic, November by Turgid on November 17, 2004
A Sympathetic Portrait (The Demise of Monkeyman) by Turgid on November 18, 2004
Almost as bad as the worst short ever! by The Rid on November 19, 2004
Vagaries by Turgid on November 19, 2004
My dad was on a soybean kick that year by cuntry on November 21, 2004
Would you please get the fuck off my back? by Alfred P. Whitaker on November 22, 2004
Contact me here. by The Finch on November 23, 2004
Would you watch Clinton jerk off? by cuntry on November 23, 2004
Murder doesn't pay. At least, not in the Balkans. by Turgid on November 23, 2004
Doug Goes to Starbucks by Litcube on November 23, 2004
It was 4 AM and the microwave was beeping. by cuntry on November 28, 2004
WHAT? by TREE on November 29, 2004
Well fuck me. by Chance the Gardener on November 30, 2004
Friday night, nine o'clock. by The Rid on November 30, 2004
alias by TREE on November 30, 2004
Dear Mr. Havemeyer by Turgid on November 30, 2004
Dad and Mother by cuntry on November 30, 2004
First time by TREE on December 01, 2004
Nick looked at me, and he was Japanese!?! by cuntry on December 02, 2004
I was at the symphony the other night by Turgid on December 02, 2004
Jeff built a rocket in his back yard and had big dreams. by CrazyGuy on December 03, 2004
I just don't see the point anymore. by The Rid on December 03, 2004
periwinkle by cuntry on December 04, 2004
When I was 15, jerking off in the shower was something I would do every day by Streifenbeuteldachs on December 05, 2004
My Band Argued a Lot by The Rid on December 06, 2004
Hey Guys!! by hagit mizrachy on December 07, 2004
Kevin gave up smoking by cuntry on December 07, 2004
The Office Christmas Party by The Rid on December 09, 2004
Their fluorescent ski jackets by Litcube on December 09, 2004
“What is that, your scrotum?” by James K. Polk on December 09, 2004
Dick Fuck by hagit mizrachy on December 10, 2004
I've always had unconventional sexual tastes by Streifenbeuteldachs on December 11, 2004
Tammy by hagit mizrachy on December 11, 2004
I've got one hundred and sixty-three V-cards on my belt. by Streifenbeuteldachs on December 11, 2004
The Businessman is not excessively kind to anyone, but he is not overly rude. by The Rid on December 12, 2004
I didn't want to go to film school, anyway. Dicks. by The Rid on December 12, 2004
I don't sit on public toilets by cuntry on December 13, 2004
Nobody berates the Molecule. by mr.coffee on December 13, 2004
There were 21 shorts in the guest queue! by The Rid on December 13, 2004
“HAPPY NEW YEAR!”I shouted. by hagit mizrachy on December 13, 2004
What can't people understand about "going deep"? by Turgid on December 13, 2004
Dr. Feelgood by hagit mizrachy on December 14, 2004
It started as a joke. I ended in a fix. by Turgid on December 14, 2004
Interrogation by Turgid on December 15, 2004
GASLIGHT GRANDPA by hagit mizrachy on December 15, 2004
Simpatico the waitress practically glided across the room. by Turgid on December 16, 2004
Her ass pressed up against a tree. by cuntry on December 16, 2004
Tie two hot dogs together with bacon. by CornHole22 on December 17, 2004
"Dr." Goldfarb by hagit mizrachy on December 19, 2004
The wind sighed in the trees by Cyrus on December 20, 2004
Office Politics by The Rid on December 20, 2004
Afterschool Special by Turgid on December 21, 2004
Her Name Was by hagit mizrachy on December 23, 2004
Christ, you're late. by cuntry on January 01, 2005
The basis of our entire civilization is shared abstractions. by Streifenbeuteldachs on January 02, 2005
Two milkduds, a handful of raisins... by cuntry on January 02, 2005
The tooth dream. by scoop's brain on January 03, 2005
Frank had a way of talking that really pissed me off. by The Rid on January 03, 2005
His dick and his hand were one and the same. by Turgid on January 03, 2005
A Horse Story by Turgid on January 03, 2005
So honestly, my situation, did it freak you out? by cuntry on January 04, 2005
Showers by Turgid on January 04, 2005
It was Pat Sajak's last day at work. by Turgid on January 06, 2005
University of Mississippi Burning by The Rid on January 06, 2005
The Forty Thieves by Streifenbeuteldachs on January 07, 2005
Don’t get salty at me by Alfred P. Whitaker on January 07, 2005
Its why we are all here. by Pix on January 09, 2005
I'm what you'd call a grower, not a shower. by The Rid on January 09, 2005
Making a Living off the Living Dead by deliciousbrains on January 09, 2005
How to Do Drugs and Make Money at the Same Time: Babysitting 101 by deliciousbrains on January 09, 2005
Does the proverbial five-second rule apply? by Turgid on January 10, 2005
Shooting Star by deliciousbrains on January 11, 2005
I love this job. by Litcube on January 12, 2005
I rolled the 30-sided die rather emphatically by Turgid on January 12, 2005
April 7, 1913 by Turgid on January 12, 2005
"Pee into a cup." by Turgid on January 12, 2005
Fun with Death! by deliciousbrains on January 12, 2005
The Alliance takes wing by Mr. Joshua on January 13, 2005
We were on the trail of a fantastic mule deer buck. by Shane Mahoney on January 13, 2005
TREE kills self, is thanked by TheBuyer, returns as Sergio. by The Rid on January 14, 2005
That's right you sexy bitch. by cuntry on January 16, 2005
A Confession and A Query by Streifenbeuteldachs on January 16, 2005
So I had sex with my ex-girlfriend last night. by The Rid on January 17, 2005
Maybe it was the jalapenos? by cuntry on January 17, 2005
Seminal fluid made Carla itch. by cuntry on January 19, 2005
The Elevator Ride by Jawbreaker on January 20, 2005
We Can Learn From The Animals by Streifenbeuteldachs on January 21, 2005
Wah Lee's by Sergio on January 21, 2005
In an alley in any shitty, dirty city in this country, one bum holding a bleeding knot on his forehead, approaches a younger bum, picking through a Dumpster. by Pods on January 21, 2005
The Last Second by el_duder on January 21, 2005
I've seen a lot of strange things in my day. by Turgid on January 21, 2005
"what r u wearing?" by radioactive girl on January 23, 2005
The movie had been a total flop. by The Rid on January 23, 2005
Same Shit. Different Day. by Jawbreaker on January 25, 2005
Barry Bonds by Jawbreaker on January 25, 2005
by Pusher Robot on January 25, 2005
by Streifenbeuteldachs on January 25, 2005
by The Rid on January 25, 2005
by Moe-Ron on January 25, 2005
by Jawbreaker on January 25, 2005
by Litcube on January 25, 2005
When the color reached the edges, we all knew who did it, but it was too late. by tabblabber on January 25, 2005
She looked like hell. by Turgid on January 26, 2005
The Ironic Moustache by Turgid on January 26, 2005
It may hurt, folks, but it’s the truth. by The Rid on January 26, 2005
Small Town America by Streifenbeuteldachs on January 27, 2005
Miss Me? by middlenowhere on January 27, 2005
Eric Porter was a stockbroker and late for his office appointment. by browserman on January 27, 2005
Joining FARC by Streifenbeuteldachs on January 29, 2005
She was always smarter than I was, so I came clean. by The Rid on January 31, 2005
Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. by Jawbreaker on February 01, 2005
Homophobia by Turgid on February 02, 2005
Twenty years after the fact by Turgid on February 03, 2005
Paul Thomas Anderson returned to his plush hotel suite by Turgid on February 04, 2005
There's a story once told to me as a young man that I really took to heart. by Turgid on February 04, 2005
All You Can Eat. by Klause Muppet on February 05, 2005
Dear Dr. Lin by Coleoptera King on February 06, 2005
Accidental Circulatory Coupling by Streifenbeuteldachs on February 06, 2005
The craters did it. by cuntry on February 09, 2005
The children weren't only ignoring my teachings by Turgid on February 10, 2005
Something happened. by The Rid on February 10, 2005
The Kids Today by Mr. Joshua on February 10, 2005
Cream that baby to the hilt. by cuntry on February 12, 2005
Wilma was a woman by Klause Muppet on February 13, 2005
What gives? by Turgid on February 15, 2005
Will Disney Fan Fiction by Mr. Joshua on February 16, 2005
Strictly Legit ReProductions Disclaimer by BOOTIEANDTHEHOFISH on February 17, 2005
Some people like to see things half empty by Turgid on February 21, 2005
Duane Reade Story by The Rid on February 22, 2005
I was not about to start a bitchspaz scene at Club Opus by BOOTIEANDTHEHOFISH on February 22, 2005
ProChoiceMania!! by Partytime on February 23, 2005
Thursday Morning by Turgid on February 23, 2005
Andre the Giant by Turgid on February 25, 2005
Half Full! by Mr. Positive on February 28, 2005
Stomach Foot by Litcube on March 02, 2005
Madtha 'Thplode. by Litcube on March 02, 2005
Time stood still. by Jawbreaker on March 02, 2005
Captain Victory by Litcube on March 03, 2005
From the Womb of Earth's Horizon by Partytime on March 04, 2005
"Everbody's a critic" Jeffrey thought as he smeared feces on the fresh canvas. by deliciousbrains on March 04, 2005
Standing on a grassy hill by Turgid on March 04, 2005
I got issues. by The Rid on March 05, 2005
Circumstance by Klause Muppet on March 07, 2005
The duck had been following me for about a day and a half now. by deliciousbrains on March 07, 2005
Nate, Todd, WalMart, truck hood. by Blister Buddy on March 08, 2005
Turducken by Turgid on March 09, 2005
Stupid Political Allegory by Turgid on March 10, 2005
That's So Shaven by Blister Buddy on March 10, 2005
The thing about sucking cock. by Alfred P. Whitaker on March 10, 2005
I waxed a riceboy on my way to work. by Streifenbeuteldachs on March 13, 2005
Sunday Afternoon by Klause Muppet on March 14, 2005
Nate on Can by Blister Buddy on March 15, 2005
Mr. Negative was here. by Mr. Negative on March 15, 2005
The Sweatjob by The Rid on March 15, 2005
The rail-thin communist caressed the knob of the decanter by Turgid on March 15, 2005
santa cruz retard found at fault by Partytime on March 16, 2005
Subway Stories by Turgid on March 18, 2005
I thought I'd relaying the great though somewha t harrowing tale of the source of my braindamage. by BrainDamaged on March 20, 2005
Really, truly fantastic poets, novelists by Templeton Dink on March 20, 2005
In Acknowledgement Of by Partytime on March 22, 2005
Shit oops by Klause Muppet on March 22, 2005
"Say, do you like music?" by Turgid on March 23, 2005
As I was walking down the street the other day thinking about the pantyline of the young girl in front of me, I was approached by a homeless gentleman.< by cromagnon on March 24, 2005
I was born and raised in Wet Virginia... by cromagnon on March 24, 2005
My recent instant messenger conversation by cromagnon on March 24, 2005
Davis needed a mentor. by The Rid on March 24, 2005
I need some advice from a group of intelligent, insightful, and surprisingly deeply sensitive people. by 10tonDonkey on March 24, 2005
Crop's flaggin' by Partytime on March 25, 2005
Bathrooms are only for customers by Klause Muppet on March 25, 2005
A Full Shift. by Front on March 26, 2005
On the Road by Partytime on March 26, 2005
Alice and the baby by Templeton Dink on March 28, 2005
"What a vainglorious morning!" by Turgid on March 29, 2005
Girv and Blorf by Partytime on March 31, 2005
Expires 4/1/05 by deliciousbrains on March 31, 2005
German Children by Klause Muppet on April 02, 2005
He stripped her naked. by soren on April 03, 2005
A Purple Heart for Billy by Partytime on April 03, 2005
Albino Businessman by Turgid on April 04, 2005
Asking a question by The Rid on April 04, 2005
A Misunderstanding by Turgid on April 06, 2005
Back in high school by Turgid on April 07, 2005
I go to work everyday for the greater good but it may get perverted by BrainDamaged on April 08, 2005
The Gambler by Pix on April 12, 2005
My Statistics as a 21 Yea Old Woman by Jawbreaker on April 12, 2005
Inventory. by Litcube on April 12, 2005
FUCK YEAH BITCHES by Klause Muppet on April 12, 2005
nostalgia by cuntry on April 12, 2005
a minor decline in lethality by Templeton Dink on April 13, 2005
Jonas by Turgid on April 14, 2005
Second try-Ficticious hopefully not as shitty. by BrainDamaged on April 16, 2005
Third and shittiest short ever by BrainDamaged on April 16, 2005
I lifted my eyelids slowly. by The Rid on April 17, 2005
The professor pressed me for an answer by Turgid on April 18, 2005
How to make a baby, 101 by Pix on April 19, 2005
Skid Marks: A Treatise on Love by Turgid on April 20, 2005
The Rid was a ghastly fellow by Klause Muppet on April 22, 2005
A critique of the contemporary short using, by way of example, Graylick Dramblegumper. by Mr. Critic on April 22, 2005
“Here is your grande soy latte, Webster.” by Jawbreaker on April 22, 2005
A recent IM conversation... by cromagnon on April 24, 2005
After my last break-up. by The Rid on April 24, 2005
Head. by The Rid on April 24, 2005
OOOooooh.... by Ed Mooney on April 25, 2005
A well deserved thank you note to my mother by Yahzick on April 28, 2005
i reached out and pressed my finger to it by cuntry on May 02, 2005
She sat there by Klause Muppet on May 02, 2005
a short by Klause Muppet on May 03, 2005
Questions by Turgid on May 03, 2005
Quit laughing at me, Alfredo. by Turgid on May 03, 2005
The plan behind the worst ACME short, ever! by Dave Heiny on May 04, 2005
My God, that's a big turd. by The Rid on May 04, 2005
Ladies and Gentlemen: A Talking Penis! by Klause Muppet on May 05, 2005
Another short about sex acts! by The Rid on May 06, 2005
Gerald sat with his fly down, his meat somewhere between flacid and firm. by cuntry on May 07, 2005
Jesus H. Christ on a twig! by Great Satan on May 07, 2005
The Banal. by The Rid on May 10, 2005
Childhood by Alfred P. Whitaker on May 11, 2005
Werner Herzog by Turgid on May 11, 2005
Good evening, Mr. Slocum. Would you like some wine? by Klause Muppet on May 11, 2005
Kelly was fed up. by Jawbreaker on May 11, 2005
Poop! by Poop on May 11, 2005
As I sat alone at the bar by Turgid on May 13, 2005
Algebra by The Rid on May 14, 2005
Ladies and Gentlemen: A Talking Penis! PART 2 by Klause Muppet on May 16, 2005
Opening Night Jitters by Turgid on May 18, 2005
Let go of my balls! by cuntry on May 19, 2005
The Blacksmith by The Rid on May 19, 2005
Leather by Turgid on May 19, 2005
At the Club by Turgid on May 24, 2005
Day 3 by Shane on May 24, 2005
Dammit! by Jawbreaker on May 25, 2005
This short is about a businessman named Ted. by The Rid on May 25, 2005
Ian sat down on the metal chair. by Klause Muppet on May 26, 2005
I ramped right into her by Turgid on May 31, 2005
The Truth by Mr. Joshua on May 31, 2005
300 Pt. 1 by Shane on May 31, 2005
300 Pt. 2 by Shane on May 31, 2005
300 Pt. 3 by Shane on May 31, 2005
There Is A Problem by Litcube on June 06, 2005
The office was quiet... by Klause Muppet on June 06, 2005
Not Mr. Pony Fan Fiction, Though I Am a Mr. Pony Fan! by The Rid on June 07, 2005
Ladies and Gentlemen A TALKING PENIS PART 3 by Klause Muppet on June 08, 2005
Professional Chainsaw Operation by Klause Muppet on June 08, 2005
You know who I fuck? by Shane on June 09, 2005
I decided to try my luck by Turgid on June 09, 2005
Ladies and Gentlemen, A SILENT PENIS! by Mr. Critic on June 10, 2005
ad muppetem by Klause Muppet on June 10, 2005
Former Attorney General Edwin Meese by Streifenbeuteldachs on June 11, 2005
For Joan Baez by Partytime on June 12, 2005
Is the caller there? by Kenji X on June 13, 2005
Short Fat Naked Mexican Rid by Klause Muppet on June 14, 2005
Graf by Litcube on June 14, 2005
This Timeline Entry Is Added by Streifenbeuteldachs on June 14, 2005
Some weeks prior I had solicited the services of the fair Trellise of Burgonshire, she being the village limner's wanton, nubile daughter, to accompany me to Newtopia's Ogasmiday orgifest on the third by Kenji X on June 16, 2005
The Bright Side by Mr. Positive on June 17, 2005
Karma by Sergio on June 17, 2005
The smell by Templeton Dink on June 17, 2005
Private Dick Simile Training by Kenji X on June 18, 2005
"What does existential dread feel like?" by Turgid on June 21, 2005
Glossed Over by Kenji X on June 21, 2005
The Shower by Turgid on June 21, 2005
I will vomit by Templeton Dink on June 21, 2005
Fargle by Kenji X on June 22, 2005
Spacelord returns to Earth in tears by Spacelord on June 22, 2005
"So what do you do?" by Turgid on June 24, 2005
Short Fat Naked Mexican Rid 2 by Klause Muppet on June 24, 2005
Cheese Sundae by Kenji X on June 27, 2005
Danny by Klause Muppet on June 28, 2005
I have a tip for people out there who have trouble pushing through the last few reps of a power set. by Alfred P. Whitaker on June 28, 2005
This just in by Kenji X on June 28, 2005
Moribundo by Turgid on June 29, 2005
The phone was ringing. by Klause Muppet on July 02, 2005
pot a gold by Partytime on July 02, 2005
Bangin' and Poppin' by Kenji X on July 07, 2005
Anywhere else but here. by mr.coffee on July 07, 2005
BBC Documentary Pilot: The World's Greatest... by Rafus Butler on July 11, 2005
28% of working women admitted to having sex with a coworker by Klause Muppet on July 12, 2005
Goodbye, Cruel World by Kenji X on July 12, 2005
Yankee Fan by Shane on July 14, 2005
Grey pools of fog... by Litcube on July 19, 2005
Ladies, lets call this meeting to order by Klause Muppet on July 20, 2005
"Thanks for doing this on such short notice, Mike," said Dr. Bailey. by The Rid on July 25, 2005
"Vagina," said Timmy. by The Rid on July 26, 2005
*Sniff* by The Rid on July 26, 2005
100100 What am I to do? by Partytime on July 26, 2005
An addendum to a previous explanation by Shane on July 28, 2005
It was men’s basketball. by Mr. Critic on July 29, 2005
Johnny contemplated the prostitute before him. by The Rid on July 29, 2005
Some Barnacles from my July Notebook: by Partytime on August 01, 2005
I was enjoying a drink with John Kerry by Turgid on August 02, 2005
Document #128 by Redacto on August 02, 2005
Your average boring Sunday before football season starts by Kenji X on August 07, 2005
Michael Penn's lament by Kenji X on August 07, 2005
"That's it, nice and slow." by Kenji X on August 07, 2005
Ladies and Gentlemen, a Silent PENIS! Part 2 by Mr. Critic on August 10, 2005
Autumn by Turgid on August 11, 2005
“Boy, I want to tell yew something." by The Rid on August 12, 2005
Tom and me were watching porn together. by Kenji X on August 14, 2005
The city had ordered all tenants in the slum to vacate by noon. by The Rid on August 15, 2005
The Surgery by Streifenbeuteldachs on August 16, 2005
A little improv for your boy in the Army. by Kenji X on August 16, 2005
Captain Thad Starquest and the Emissary of Bulon-Delta 9 by Kenji X on August 16, 2005
Hi koo by Kenji X on August 16, 2005
Greek by Turgid on August 17, 2005
INTER-MATCH.COM by Shane on August 19, 2005
Everyone will hate this short, but its heart is in the right place! by Mr. Positive on August 19, 2005
Japan:2005 If a saw one more shitty egg by itasta090 on August 19, 2005
Science by Kenji X on August 20, 2005
I lifted my eyelids slowly, part 2. by The Rid on August 22, 2005
The Flower Painting by Adolf Hitler on August 22, 2005
Midsummer Mishap by Turgid on August 25, 2005
So I go to the pharmacy by Litcube on August 26, 2005
I want chiseled abs. by Klause Muppet on August 26, 2005
Toby Miracle takes a shit by Kenji X on August 27, 2005
In response to your last two questions: by grandpa on August 27, 2005
Matt and Lynn had a session with Bill, their counselor. by Mr. Negative on August 29, 2005
I haven't written a short that's explicitly about fucking in a long time. by The Rid on August 30, 2005
Zach de la Rocha was getting butt-raped in a Mexican prison. by The Rid on August 30, 2005
Supermodel Starfish by itasta090 on August 31, 2005
My big brother by Turgid on September 01, 2005
Angela's tits were too small. by Klause Muppet on September 02, 2005
Patricia by Klause Muppet on September 10, 2005
acme@home by Klause Muppet on September 10, 2005
The waitress was hot. by Klause Muppet on September 11, 2005
The Singing Cab Driver by The Rid on September 11, 2005
I couldn't help it. by Turgid on September 14, 2005
SHE NEEDS A LOT OF HELP. by cuntry on September 19, 2005
Friday Night TV by Klause Muppet on September 19, 2005
Why don't Rid and Shane make eye contact much anymore? by Shane on September 20, 2005
New Additions. by Pix on September 21, 2005
Next Friday by Klause Muppet on September 22, 2005
The Last Friday Night. by Klause Muppet on September 23, 2005
Fyornch II by Streifenbeuteldachs on September 27, 2005
I'm so sick of twins. by Turgid on September 30, 2005
In the universe in which I operate... by Turgid on September 30, 2005
Litcube was all like “Welcome back Striefen?” by Klause Muppet on October 04, 2005
Dear Journal by itasta090 on October 10, 2005
Tick tock. Tick tock. Tick tock. by Klause Muppet on October 10, 2005
Vitamin B2 by Streifenbeuteldachs on October 14, 2005
Shoot my dick, Brady! by Klause Muppet on October 14, 2005
Retarded Mexican Day-Laborer by Streifenbeuteldachs on October 26, 2005
I think my penis has a mind of its own. by Turgid on October 27, 2005
. by Partytime on October 28, 2005
Coolio entered my local coffee joint and I was like, no way. by cuntry on November 16, 2005
Beneath the streets of Gordo... by Poop on November 19, 2005
im 13 and a half or there abouts by Coleoptera King on November 20, 2005
"boobs. boobs." by Klause Muppet on December 01, 2005
How Late One Night I Was Eating Breakfas by Luthius Badapple on December 02, 2005
Nikipedia Word of the Week: AUGUST by Luthius Badapple on December 06, 2005
ZBT by Partytime on December 22, 2005
Ocoyopo took a moment to ponder the beauty of the strip-mined valley that stretched far below him, as far as the eye could see. by Metavore on December 30, 2005
Chone replaced the 50mv capacitor with a 100mv beauty he had hauled out of a mobile Newtonian reflecting telescope the previous week. by Metavore on December 30, 2005
Jeffrey was. by kidduffah on January 04, 2006
I like... by Klause Muppet on January 16, 2006
A Polished Guy by TertiaryWinesAreTheOnlyWinesForMe on January 24, 2006
The holy man stood motionless in the center of the market. by William Asp on January 28, 2006
Meat Market by William Asp on February 02, 2006
Wha' Happened? by Klause Muppet on February 13, 2006
The Critic by Master Bates on February 28, 2006
toothless vampire by Master Bates on March 02, 2006
MY NAME IS JETHRO. by forjethro on March 03, 2006
my wife ally barone... by forjethro on March 03, 2006
I am very skilled by Turgid on March 03, 2006
Not My Favorite by Master Bates on March 05, 2006
"Dad, why is the sky so blue?" by Master Bates on March 05, 2006
I knew there was trouble in my marriage... by kingbill on March 11, 2006
Destiny. by Master Bates on March 12, 2006
paper or plastic by Master Bates on March 18, 2006
old g by Master Bates on March 18, 2006
I was listening to my music this afternoon. by theeandthem on March 18, 2006
Today I was in the shower by Coleoptera King on March 25, 2006
YOU by Master Bates on March 27, 2006
prepositions by Coleoptera King on March 30, 2006
nature of the wager by Master Bates on April 03, 2006
Sometimes I get excited! by Master Bates on April 07, 2006
The Legend of Tammy Hollow by Master Bates on April 10, 2006
Creation Myth by Daphne on April 11, 2006
Devil May Cry by Master Bates on April 16, 2006
The Way by Master Bates on April 16, 2006
Your mama came by Master Bates on April 16, 2006
P.M.B. rocks! by Master Bates on April 18, 2006
Drought (Approx. 400 wds.) by mgreen100 on April 21, 2006
A cleptomaniac and a prostitute walk into a bar... by Master Bates on April 22, 2006
Thank God for Duct Tape! by Master Bates on April 22, 2006
chick shits nickels by Master Bates on April 22, 2006
Fatback Critter Rack by Master Bates on May 03, 2006
shine on, crazy diamond by Master Bates on May 05, 2006
vegas postcard by Master Bates on May 05, 2006
jellybean pebble by Master Bates on May 05, 2006
Ashley? by Master Bates on May 05, 2006
Basement dwellers 3 by Master Bates on May 05, 2006
Clown Trauma Support Group (CTSG) by Master Bates on May 05, 2006
Dojo of Life by Master Bates on May 05, 2006
' by Master Bates on May 05, 2006
plan the work & work the plan by Master Bates on May 07, 2006
There was this dancer I knew who used to pee in a paper cup and throw it off the Brooklyn Bridge for good luck. by pasty on May 12, 2006
Jon stood in line at the Royal Bank by Litcube on May 12, 2006
Flesh, American, Flesh. by pasty on May 12, 2006
I woke up this morning and my penis was gone. by pasty on May 15, 2006
Jenkins awoke at 6:15 ... by mgreen100 on May 20, 2006
On Bulbus Rak by Master Bates on May 25, 2006
Richard... by Klause Muppet on June 08, 2006
Shirk by tucker on June 09, 2006
Tribute to Microman -August 2004 by Ferucio P. Chhretan on June 15, 2006
Frisco by Turgid on June 19, 2006
Hold Up by tucker on June 20, 2006
by annebot on June 24, 2006
eat-n-Read by Master Bates on July 01, 2006
Richard's a... by Klause Muppet on July 06, 2006
Another objet trouve', courtesy of the J-Dog. by Mr. Joshua on July 06, 2006
Telling the Truth by Rod Drake on July 15, 2006
Post-feminist Gags by Turgid on August 23, 2006
She nuzzled him with her germy probiscus by Master Bates on August 26, 2006
Hot Haiku Madness by Rod Drake on August 26, 2006
soo anybody else like poopy girls? by crutchofsociety on September 03, 2006
Reading, Writing and Arithmetic by The Name Is Dalton on September 05, 2006
do all british people drink tea by thecrutchofsociety on September 06, 2006
end mid sentence after a clause with an ellipsis… by mixelpix on September 13, 2006
Saturday night. Peacocked to the gills... by Streifenbeuteldachs on September 14, 2006
I walked along the slimy excuse for a bridge and saw the harbor over the hill. by dhastie3000 on September 15, 2006
WATCH YOUR BACK by thecrutchofsociety on September 18, 2006
?????????????????? by thecrutchofsociety on September 19, 2006
flicked it on by Master Bates on September 19, 2006
Sperms by Streifenbeuteldachs on September 20, 2006
Medication by Streifenbeuteldachs on September 20, 2006
Birthday 29 by Streifenbeuteldachs on September 20, 2006
Phone by Streifenbeuteldachs on September 20, 2006
la la la la la i admit defeate by the_fuckin_bob on September 21, 2006
MY BODY TURNS COACAINE INTO PURE ENERGY by the_fuckin_bob on September 21, 2006
the sidewalk nods hello, 'both coppers, good Sir' by mixelpix on September 21, 2006
I have a theory by The Name Is Dalton on September 23, 2006
!All for Rodney by Master Bates on October 05, 2006
when i type the string of text, acme shorts by mixelpix on October 06, 2006
Did you mean, EAMYSHORTS ? by mixelpix on October 06, 2006
Quests-Part 1 by dhastie3000 on October 11, 2006
Quest- part 2 by dhastie3000 on October 11, 2006
Quest- part 3 by dhastie3000 on October 11, 2006
Quest- part 4 by dhastie3000 on October 11, 2006
Quests- part 5 by dhastie3000 on October 11, 2006
Herpes by Streifenbeuteldachs on October 23, 2006
roadshow by Master Bates on October 26, 2006
My stomach is bulging and soon it will look like a crater... by Zetetic on October 28, 2006
CHIP'd by Master Bates on November 01, 2006
Vandalism: A Study by Streifenbeuteldachs on November 05, 2006
why is that when others find something to be true every one around them does as well by the_fuckin_bob on November 08, 2006
hello friends in Acmeshorts by Gorilla Saladress on November 13, 2006
I am going to my enemy's house by Master Bates on December 06, 2006
Not sure where this text is from but it was attached to weightloss pills spam. mostly i like the last sentence. And the syrup-titious usage of quote. Mmm, syrup. by mixelpix on December 09, 2006
Timothy and Consuelo: A Tender Moment by blow-up on December 28, 2006
The Adventure Clan hang out! by blow-up on December 28, 2006
A Manly Love Story by blow-up on December 29, 2006
Terri the Turtle makes the perfect turkey sandwich! by blow-up on December 29, 2006
Another Terri the Turtle adventure! by blow-up on December 29, 2006
Mr Muffins in the cancer ward. by blow-up on December 31, 2006
Mr Muffins's muthaphuckkin tribute to the fallen homies. by blow-up on January 01, 2007
Madame Bovary by blow-up on January 01, 2007
Timothy's backstory ... by blow-up on January 03, 2007
Tons O' Trouble for Terri the Turtle by blow-up on January 05, 2007
Take a tour of my house by blow-up on January 06, 2007
Terri and Timothy Have a Discussion by blow-up on January 12, 2007
The Tyrant by hamsund on January 17, 2007
The Amstels practically wrote this story themselves. by blow-up on January 17, 2007
I think no one's ever thought about this before. by blow-up on January 18, 2007
rosebud, VAM, and Shawn by Master Bates on January 19, 2007
Hey, let's see if we can make a lame political joke funny! by blow-up on January 19, 2007
Dear Terri the Turtle ... by blow-up on January 19, 2007
Uncle Lenin by blow-up on January 20, 2007
Don't read this short. Really. by blow-up on January 20, 2007
Dear Consuelo ... by blow-up on January 22, 2007
I want to have my butt-hair dyed. by blow-up on January 27, 2007
Terri the Turtle rolled onto his back and stared at the sun by blow-up on January 27, 2007
little bitty penny makes a great big Dollar! by Master Bates on February 08, 2007
A.I.S.W.U! by Master Bates on February 28, 2007
Garbage Man by charlesg928 on March 14, 2007
Sleeping In by Klause Muppet on March 24, 2007
unimpressed by Klause Muppet on March 29, 2007
Arctic Circle of Trust by Master Bates on March 29, 2007
Meanwhile, back at the Bat Cave by Master Bates on April 10, 2007
It was disconcerting and yet comforting... by Plumster on April 14, 2007
A Decent Sort by Plumster on April 15, 2007
not too much fun by Master Bates on May 15, 2007
A Mother's Day Greeting from Mr Muffins by blow-up on May 21, 2007
Mr Muffins buried his mouth in the wiry-haired muff. by blow-up on May 22, 2007
Democratic Bone-off by Master Bates on May 30, 2007
Yo, rocker chicks never tell you the truth, yo--Size DOES matter! by Lady Pissant on June 27, 2007
"What is that I smell?" asked the man in the back of the class in broken English. by Lady Pissant on June 27, 2007
know ye, know ye by Master Bates on June 27, 2007
finally alone by Mylittlepony on June 30, 2007
Hot Flash Fiction Groupie! by Master Bates on September 26, 2007
. by Pix on November 16, 2007
BTB by Master Bates on November 19, 2007
theridvol2ep2 by Klause Muppet on December 10, 2007
fellas, i spent the weekend, four days, in houston by SwalpfRag on December 10, 2007
When Osama Knocked a Mother Out by Master Bates on December 17, 2007
Jazz Cat. That's what it said. by cuntry on January 10, 2008
LOL- do you remember this? by Marvin_Bernstein on March 22, 2008
October 10, 2006: Today was my 14th birthday. by mgreen100 on April 25, 2008
Yeah, they call me Woody Woodpecker. by Master Bates on May 19, 2008
I went to the Tubs with two objectives in mind by Coleoptera King on August 06, 2008
Hi Everybody! This is my first time posting on the sight. I by Mr. Joshua on September 11, 2008
butter up the poobie by unklespaz on February 27, 2009
Art Film by Rod Drake by Rod Drake on March 25, 2009
Losing My Mind by Rod Drake Dr. Gene by Rod Drake on April 14, 2009
I just got one of those metal detectors and boy, is it fun! by Master Bates on May 14, 2009
Grades by Rod Drake by Rod Drake on July 17, 2009
short summary of acme by Mylittlepony on July 29, 2009
Rewrite by Rod Drake by Rod Drake on August 21, 2009
A Hollywood Myth by Rod Drake by Rod Drake on September 03, 2009
jajajajaja by Mylittlepony on October 14, 2009
Blake Butter continued to lament his last name. by hoof on November 07, 2009
Screenplay Entitled the "bad emogoth vampire" by Marvin_Bernstein on December 30, 2009
Bob Dylan sat on a stool at the Gaslight, guitar in hand, harmonica around his neck. by The Rid on March 10, 2010
He liked to buttfuck by Marvin_Bernstein on April 14, 2010
Prequel: the real story of Pony, the one behind the legend and the man that you didn't know you knew. by Marvin_Bernstein on April 25, 2010
the emogoth vampire becomes a police officer by Marvin_Bernstein on May 04, 2010
the story of Pegeviny Polishowski by Marvin_Bernstein on May 04, 2010
bernie destroyed another blowup doll by Marvin_Bernstein on August 07, 2010
Mr. Jinshin had a fungus by Marvin_Bernstein on August 09, 2010
He liked to buttfuck part II by Marvin_Bernstein on August 31, 2010
it wasn't clear whether it was his cum butter or smegma or both by Marvin_Bernstein on August 31, 2010
Yours truly by Master Bates on October 31, 2010
Christmas Wish by Master Bates on December 11, 2010
Gavinhaptitali Ruvinperhaij took a shit by Marvin_Bernstein on January 21, 2011
Timothy Geithner had to adjust the economics. by Marvin_Bernstein on January 22, 2011
it was a good day for realization by Marvin_Bernstein on January 22, 2011
Rednave Eiknarf was stuck on the toilet for most of the morning. by Marvin Bernstein on February 13, 2011
it was the secret of the old country that made it so special by Marvin_Bernstein on February 20, 2011
the typical alpha acme male by tyranosaurus_pee_pee on February 21, 2011
Danger? Danger is my middle name. by Marvin The Word Underscore Bernstein on March 07, 2011
Scheiße by Marvin_Bernstein on March 29, 2011
Sidwell etc. by Mr. Joshua on May 04, 2011
me an scoop by Marvin_Bernstein on May 30, 2011
dave the astral meditation teacher by Marvin_Bernstein on July 09, 2011
Richard (Dick Humplick) by Marvin_Bernstein on July 22, 2011
chewbacca had the trotts by Marvin_Bernstein on July 28, 2011
this is bullshit by Marvin_Bernstein on September 13, 2011
Milky the flacid penis .... by shit_bitch on March 11, 2012
J-DOG by Mr. Joshua on May 05, 2012
Title: dickie dick dong and the vagina computer by pointy_hat_herman_ on May 08, 2012
I wouldn't worry too much about those lumps by Master Bates on July 03, 2012
the president had a very serious message by Marvin_Bernstein on September 28, 2012
Daddy, what happened then? by Marvin_Bernstein on October 17, 2012
with my dog by Marvin_Bernstein on May 29, 2014
Spring romance by Marvin_Bernstein on May 29, 2014