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Shorts from Ewan Snow
- What if I start to feel emotions? by Ewan Snow on December 30, 1899
- Lacking the necessary enzymes to digest the entire rabbit at once… by Ewan Snow on December 30, 1899
- Up in the mountains above Hallowed Creek… by Ewan Snow on December 30, 1899
- Why won't you believe me? by Ewan Snow on December 30, 1899
- We live in a tender, weakened now, by Ewan Snow on December 30, 1899
- What weighs more, a ton of bricks, or a metric tonne of bricks? by Ewan Snow on December 30, 1899
- What's the secret to your success, Mr Sternum? by Ewan Snow on December 30, 1899
- When Knanslaw’s habituator petered out... by Ewan Snow on December 30, 1899
- There is little hope of ever making filthy each clean new by Ewan Snow on December 30, 1899
- No single humanoid is better than any other single humanoid! by Ewan Snow on December 30, 1899
- 7-10 split by Ewan Snow on January 26, 1996
- The Mad Scientist’s Back Room Dealings by Ewan Snow on January 26, 1996
- Ingrid refused to dance on anything but a freshly polished... by Ewan Snow on January 26, 1996
- Parisian Lovescape by Ewan Snow on January 26, 1996
- Tender Anymore by Ewan Snow on January 26, 1996
- High Mohs Member by Ewan Snow on January 26, 1996
- The Love You Eat is Equal to the Love You Shit by Ewan Snow on January 26, 1996
- A Parable Without a Message by Ewan Snow on January 26, 1996
- Another Bad Poem by Another Lazy Poet by Ewan Snow on January 26, 1996
- Hello, hello, it’s so nice of you to come. by Ewan Snow on September 11, 1999
- On a certain Satuday in the year of 200- by Ewan Snow on March 05, 2000
- What happened to little Checter's college fund? by Ewan Snow on May 13, 2001
- How many planets and moons are there in the solar system? by Ewan Snow on March 20, 2002
- Sally put her hand on Dusty’s cheek. by Ewan Snow on March 30, 2002
- How dare a pigeon try to pass as a ‘dove’? by Ewan Snow on March 30, 2002
- Jerry finished his coffee and asked for the check. by Ewan Snow on April 11, 2002
- Edward held the Wet-Wet Suzy doll over her face... by Ewan Snow on April 15, 2002
- Once Fredrick decided that Eileen was dead to him, he wasted no time in plotting her murder. by Ewan Snow on April 15, 2002
- I was once told of an old man who lived in East Granby... by Ewan Snow on April 16, 2002
- When Eliza discovered that Alfred was inviting that hussy… by Ewan Snow on April 24, 2002
- The boardroom filled up as young Riechek plugged his laptop into the projector. by Ewan Snow on April 24, 2002
- Regarding the matter of your grades this semester by Ewan Snow on April 24, 2002
- A Christmas Short Short by Ewan Snow on April 27, 2002
- The Funny, Funny Name of Procto Schematticca by Ewan Snow on May 18, 2002
- Only perfect girls die in ditches. by Ewan Snow on May 19, 2002
- What can we learn about ourselves by investigating our clothes? by Ewan Snow on July 03, 2002
- I lounged on the beach, following the adventures of David Copperfield. by Ewan Snow on July 08, 2002
- Kronos Regalia led his guests through the hedge maze by Ewan Snow on July 11, 2002
- Only through torture could Herbert find pleasure. by Ewan Snow on August 01, 2002
- Where Dildo’s Dare - A Blowjob in Four Lines by Ewan Snow on August 20, 2002
- Young Desmond Oliphant craved cock. by Ewan Snow on August 20, 2002
- When Edna realized the their hopes were dashed, she decided to sell her shares in Martin’s youth orchestra. by Ewan Snow on August 20, 2002
- Lush vegetation encroached on a small clearing dappled in summer sun. by Ewan Snow on August 20, 2002
- All of his best ideas were id oriented, know what I mean. by Ewan Snow on August 20, 2002
- Call upon your minions to whisper dark lies in your ears, Lucullus by Ewan Snow on August 20, 2002
- He whistled the Family anthem. by Ewan Snow on August 20, 2002
- Benjamin McGory didn’t believe in second chances. by Ewan Snow on September 21, 2002
- Frank knew what was beeswax and what was mumbo-fucking-jumbo. by Ewan Snow on November 05, 2002
- Dylan Zimmerman felt claustrophobic as he strolled down lower Broadway by Ewan Snow on December 06, 2002
- Behind a rusty dumpster, beneath a wet limp sheet of cardboard… by Ewan Snow on December 09, 2002
- The concierge, Leland McCormick, stood at his station with stiff resolve. by Ewan Snow on December 15, 2002
- Lola Bung-Hilda, the beautiful heiress to a wooden denture fortune… by Ewan Snow on December 20, 2002
- With an admirable
disregard for public opinion, Dylan
and Jon Frenched at the bar. by Ewan Snow on February 05, 2003
- Cranium McGee dipped his quill in ox blood, despite the warnings of corrosion offered by his art instructor. by Ewan Snow on February 21, 2003
- I feel so emotional sometimes. by Ewan Snow on February 21, 2003
- I knew you'd never pull through for me. Duncan always said you were a creep. by Ewan Snow on February 23, 2003
- Doctor, doctor, what's the news? by Ewan Snow on February 24, 2003
- By relegating Constantine to the position of Rear Admiral... by Ewan Snow on February 24, 2003
- Reginald slipped his sweaty hands into the back pockets of his Geranimals by Ewan Snow on February 25, 2003
- “Low-rent mystery cults can’t hold a shit wick to our sacred demiurge..." by Ewan Snow on February 26, 2003
- “I imagine a world full of hope..." by Ewan Snow on February 26, 2003
- “Nurse, I need suction.” by Ewan Snow on March 14, 2003
- She walked into my office carrying a small silver platter on which by Ewan Snow on March 15, 2003
- A Scene (Re-imagined by Ewan Snow) That Actually Happened (According to Phony Millions) by Ewan Snow on March 21, 2003
- “Desperate times call for desperate clocks” by Ewan Snow on March 26, 2003
- Pascal Devonshire fantasized about taking a radial saw to his skull by Ewan Snow on April 07, 2003
- “What’s your major?” by Ewan Snow on April 09, 2003
- Down by the lakefront the grass gets deep by Ewan Snow on April 09, 2003
- On Failure in the Acme Community, A Scathing Indictment by Ewan Snow on April 09, 2003
- Dedication
with Greatest Honor
to Simile Blane by Ewan Snow on April 10, 2003 - First You Get The Truck by Ewan Snow on April 11, 2003
- Feedbag Jefferson spent the night guzzling Dr. Pepper by Ewan Snow on May 14, 2003
- “Lorgnette never liked you, Drake... by Ewan Snow on May 14, 2003
- Ordinary claims require ordinary proof by Ewan Snow on May 16, 2003
- “Should tillers of soil despair at the weight of life?” by Ewan Snow on May 16, 2003
- Dearest Philippe, Don’t hate me! by Ewan Snow on May 18, 2003
- Cramped “Quarters” Chromatone rotated the plus-sized BenWa balls... by Ewan Snow on May 21, 2003
- The little river bubbled over the pebbles at the bend... by Ewan Snow on May 28, 2003
- Crème Fresh zipped up his pants... by Ewan Snow on June 09, 2003
- Chaco slipped into his bib by Ewan Snow on June 11, 2003
- “Let h represent all your hopes and dreams... by Ewan Snow on June 22, 2003
- fonnet Infcribed on a Time-fwept ftone by Ewan Snow on June 22, 2003
- “Are you almost done?” by Ewan Snow on July 01, 2003
- Lost and Found Short Short by Ewan Snow on July 12, 2003
- Old School Short by Ewan Snow on July 17, 2003
- Star Wars Fan Sonnet #119 by Ewan Snow on July 24, 2003
- If only to be held, to be loved… by Ewan Snow on July 27, 2003
- Meltdown Permanente crapped religious... by Ewan Snow on July 27, 2003
- Regular Space Fan Fiction by Ewan Snow on July 30, 2003
- “Tarpit Crapulenza said this place was real horny” by Ewan Snow on August 04, 2003
- “Oh God!” screamed Bud. “I got here as fast as I could." by Ewan Snow on August 06, 2003
- The street looked dirty and there weren’t many people out. by Ewan Snow on August 07, 2003
- We set up base camp at twenty-five thousand feet. by Ewan Snow on August 10, 2003
- True Story – Fall Semester, 1990 by Ewan Snow on August 22, 2003
- A Long Time Coming by Ewan Snow on August 23, 2003
- Portrait of the Artist by Ewan Snow on August 24, 2003
- Funny Short by Ewan Snow on August 27, 2003
- Tenka Schperdorf plied her wares down by the harbor of nights. by Ewan Snow on August 27, 2003
- “Communication” + “Unity” = “Community” by Ewan Snow on August 27, 2003
- Oh, dear me, dear me! by Ewan Snow on September 02, 2003
- The Dinner Party by Ewan Snow on September 03, 2003
- True Story -- 1985 by Ewan Snow on September 05, 2003
- “Construction paper puppets, oak tag tigers… by Ewan Snow on September 16, 2003
- Flax Garvy chined the spring pig... by Ewan Snow on September 19, 2003
- The moment you’ve been waiting for your whole life will never come by Ewan Snow on September 20, 2003
- The Pontifex Maximus took off his pointy hat by Ewan Snow on September 22, 2003
- Monday morning cigarette smoke... by Ewan Snow on October 01, 2003
- Inside his immaculate fortress... by Ewan Snow on November 26, 2003
- Coup D’Tocqueville knew all the angles... by Ewan Snow on December 03, 2003
- Mittens by Ewan Snow on December 06, 2003
- Dear Rita, by Ewan Snow on December 06, 2003
- Like the Cockroach it Was by Ewan Snow on December 06, 2003
- Immured within the high walls... by Ewan Snow on December 29, 2003
- “Horny thoughts, expressed in the clearest and plainest of terms..." by Ewan Snow on January 01, 2004
- Jen and I knew it was gonna be lame... by Ewan Snow on January 15, 2004
- I rode into Carson City with a pocketful of silver... by Ewan Snow on January 15, 2004
- Hemorrhoid Story by Ewan Snow on January 23, 2004
- “This marriage isn’t working, Otto..." by Ewan Snow on January 26, 2004
- “Hello, Frankie, how was school?” by Ewan Snow on February 06, 2004
- Fragment 7a by Ewan Snow on February 15, 2004
- Untitled by Ewan Snow on February 18, 2004
- Planned Neglect by Ewan Snow on February 27, 2004
- by Ewan Snow on March 01, 2004
- Good Luck by Ewan Snow on March 09, 2004
- Joke by Ewan Snow on March 11, 2004
- Whenever I hear somebody refer to a vagina... by Ewan Snow on March 12, 2004
- “How many rocks do you have there... by Ewan Snow on March 16, 2004
- “Yeah, LunkLink used to write good shorts... by Ewan Snow on March 16, 2004
- “Hey, Crackers, why are you squatting down there with my keepsakes?” by Ewan Snow on March 16, 2004
- General Choade spent the afternoon trying to weaponize his wife. by Ewan Snow on March 17, 2004
- When Sonia arrived in New York, Penn Station was nearly deserted. by Ewan Snow on April 04, 2004
- Metamorphosis by Ewan Snow on April 12, 2004
- Dr. Ptolemy Telegenicles fielded questions from the press. by Ewan Snow on May 20, 2004
- “Imagine the story of a man..." by Ewan Snow on May 21, 2004
- Sylvia pulled out her tampon and threw it in the trash. by Ewan Snow on June 09, 2004
- The volcanic swelter... by Ewan Snow on June 11, 2004
- Loneliness waits in quiet corridors by Ewan Snow on June 16, 2004
- “When I look back at the slow shady days of childhood..." by Ewan Snow on June 16, 2004
- The Ancient Order of Acme by Ewan Snow on June 23, 2004
- The Old Man flaked the crusty net onto the deck. by Ewan Snow on July 15, 2004
- I got a new doctor, a lady doctor, and even though she wasn’t all that hot, she really turned me on. by Ewan Snow on July 26, 2004
- “I feel like a failure.” by Ewan Snow on August 13, 2004
- What if they invented a force field? by Ewan Snow on October 12, 2004
- “Hey, Greco, why the dumb face?” by Ewan Snow on October 12, 2004
- I’m building a small wooden box in which I intend to spend the rest of my life. by Ewan Snow on November 04, 2004
- The Stench of the Soil by Ewan Snow on November 12, 2004
- Consider this its epitaph. by Ewan Snow on November 22, 2004
- Prelude to a Regret by Ewan Snow on December 01, 2004
- I peeled off my sock and examined the large open sore on my instep. by Ewan Snow on December 02, 2004
- The Plot Against Tatooine by Ewan Snow on December 20, 2004
- I was having an existential crisis... by Ewan Snow on December 30, 2004
- The gay godfather by Ewan Snow on January 03, 2005
- Who wrote this one? by Ewan Snow on January 19, 2005
- Butch pulled off his cap... by Ewan Snow on January 20, 2005
- A dense and wild forest... by Ewan Snow on January 20, 2005
- I’m not willing to compromise. by Ewan Snow on January 20, 2005
- untitled by Ewan Snow on January 20, 2005
- I don’t presume to tell you your business. by Ewan Snow on January 20, 2005
- I always do jobs on foot. by Ewan Snow on March 02, 2005
- A Picasso by Ewan Snow on March 02, 2005
- Selected Shorts by Ewan Snow on March 18, 2005
- A Love for Fool by Ewan Snow on March 18, 2005
- Beardsley by Ewan Snow on March 18, 2005
- Nude Descending a Staircase by Ewan Snow on March 23, 2005
- Supply and Demand by Ewan Snow on April 04, 2005
- On account of his adventures on the raft with Jim by Ewan Snow on April 12, 2005
- Chapter CMXXIV by Ewan Snow on April 12, 2005
- The blank page is a whore by Ewan Snow on April 12, 2005
- Chapter CMXXIV by Ewan Snow on April 21, 2005
- Before the time of yore... by Ewan Snow on June 10, 2005
- Egg Martini by Ewan Snow on June 10, 2005
- Two people walked down the street. by Ewan Snow on June 10, 2005
- “Okay folks, it’s time to listen to me..." by Ewan Snow on June 23, 2005
- I have peculiar habits... by Ewan Snow on July 29, 2005
- Womyn's Lib by Ewan Snow on August 03, 2005
- It Turned Cold by Ewan Snow on August 09, 2005
- Will you help me work on my act? by Ewan Snow on August 31, 2005
- Memoir Excerpt by Ewan Snow on September 11, 2005
- Time is But a Nut Cake by Ewan Snow on September 19, 2005
- "Classify yourself" by Ewan Snow on September 19, 2005
- Portrait of a Marriage by Ewan Snow on September 19, 2005
- I have notions about myself which you may find ridiculous by Ewan Snow on September 26, 2005
- It started off... by Ewan Snow on October 06, 2005
- I am going to write about my true feelings. by Ewan Snow on October 14, 2005
- “This isn’t my dog.” by Ewan Snow on October 17, 2005
- Fact by Ewan Snow on October 24, 2005
- “These attempts at defining reality... by Ewan Snow on October 25, 2005
- Healthcare Provider by Ewan Snow on May 16, 2006
- I ordered another Dust Cloud... by Ewan Snow on February 21, 2007
- FYI by Ewan Snow on April 15, 2007
- Dubya slid onto my sofa by Ewan Snow on December 09, 2007
- “You managed to get into my office, Mr. Phlonthonth, you've got two minutes. What's your pitch?” by Ewan Snow on April 12, 2008
- Humidor by Ewan Snow on April 12, 2008
- I keep my mind in my brain by Ewan Snow on August 27, 2008
- DIY by Ewan Snow on March 26, 2009
- Do Android Hillbillies Fuck Electric Sheep?
by Ewan Snow on August 21, 2009
- For Whom the Stew Tolls by Ewan Snow on March 19, 2010
- Five Hundred Times Sharper than Steel by Ewan Snow on March 19, 2010
- I suffer from a rare and debilitating condition. by Ewan Snow on June 19, 2013