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Shorts from scoop

  1. “I love you,” the woman said breathlessly. by scoop on May 05, 2003
  2. The bachelor gazed at the two bags of chips like a Don Juan staring at long-lost conquests. by scoop on May 08, 2003
  3. What with a power vacuum in post-war Iraq... by scoop on May 08, 2003
  4. It was Tuesday afternoon, and like clockwork Old Mrs. Robbins was returning home from her weekly trip to the grocery store. by scoop on May 26, 2003
  5. As the crowd at the "Seventeenth Annual Rape Victims Catillion" really started to swell, the line at the bar began to grow. by scoop on July 01, 2003
  6. R.O.B.E.R.T the Robot journalist stared at his blank computer screen... by scoop on July 01, 2003
  7. "Puddle of Mud." by scoop on December 30, 2003
  8. “Dude, I’d leave a message in the suggestion box to install a suggestion box. That is – IF we had a suggestion box.” by scoop on December 30, 2003
  9. Lets talk about our feelings. by scoop on December 30, 2003
  10. Morning had always been the computer programmers’ favorite time to be in the office. by scoop on December 30, 2003
  11. The documentary filmmaker had been wrestling with the pitfalls of his trade for most of his career and he was no closer to a solution. by scoop on December 30, 2003
  12. “Don’t go there.” by scoop on January 09, 2004
  13. The science officer wanted more out of life than the truth – he wanted a piece of ass. Space Ass. by scoop on January 09, 2004
  14. The pederast was washing his hands when it hit him... by scoop on January 13, 2004
  15. “I’m going to roll my trouser legs down... by scoop on January 18, 2004
  16. Captain Kangaroo eyed his erection... by scoop on January 21, 2004
  17. Checksy walked in to my office. by scoop on January 21, 2004
  18. “Where ya’ going,” the cabbie barked through an unlit stogie he gnawed in his chops. by scoop on January 24, 2004
  19. “You have to write what you KNOW!” by scoop on February 01, 2004
  20. The yolks of the children’s eyes ran into sticky pools on their tiny desks... by scoop on February 03, 2004
  21. Reckon The Stranger rode in to town at just the right time. by scoop on February 07, 2004
  22. The bills were stacking up. Money was tight. There was no hope in sight but for HUMINSORC -- by scoop on February 13, 2004
  23. “Daddy, can you read me a story?” by scoop on February 15, 2004
  24. Senator, how would you respond to your critics.... by scoop on February 20, 2004
  25. On his application, under the header delineated for NAME:, was a picture of a man drawing a picture. by scoop on February 26, 2004
  26. by scoop on March 01, 2004
  27. This is a story about how Mandy validated Mindy. by scoop on March 03, 2004
  28. Paddy wagons crammed with half-naked confused men, women and children idled at the intersection. by scoop on March 04, 2004
  29. Rick could only have meaningful conversations while he was defecating... by scoop on March 05, 2004
  30. “But I feel happy,” Cindy beamed smiling ear to ear. by scoop on March 07, 2004
  31. “How much you think she’ll run me, buddy? 25? 50?” by scoop on March 12, 2004
  32. The Portentous Clan of the Homunculi by scoop on March 13, 2004
  33. Dr. Phillips would have reacted... by scoop on March 15, 2004
  34. Professionally attired, voice buttered, playlist sculpted, Bob “The Bobber” Buckman, Central Pennsylvania’s premiere reception/events DJ, was in the zone. by scoop on March 21, 2004
  35. by scoop on March 22, 2004
  36. Love is a lifelong quarrel with God, but we always make up in the end. by scoop on March 22, 2004
  37. Henry Smith awoke shivering in a cage to Mozart’s Serenade No. 13 in G major with the metallic taste of blood filling his mouth and the dream-image of a girl he had never met fading from his memory. by scoop on March 26, 2004

  38. Character: Why did you make me?

    Author: To make them laugh.
    by scoop on April 02, 2004
  39. Andy Anderson knew that with great power comes great responsibility. by scoop on April 05, 2004
  40. Fort Danny by scoop on April 09, 2004
  41. Tale of Two Jacks. by scoop on April 11, 2004
  42. This morning, ladies and gentlemen, distinguished guests, I give you all, pure and uncut... by scoop on April 13, 2004
  43. The muscles in the little volunteer’s lithe arms flexed against the taut leather straps... by scoop on April 16, 2004
  44. Tobias let the letter flutter to the floor... by scoop on April 26, 2004
  45. All right, what’s the situation? by scoop on May 04, 2004
  46. Ma, Ma! by scoop on May 18, 2004
  47. The baby scurried for cover with the urgency of a cockroach when the kitchen light is flicked on. by scoop on May 19, 2004
  48. A Happy Story by scoop on June 03, 2004
  49. by scoop on June 10, 2004
  50. Life, or something like it, had been stalking the Pederast lately and tonight it would finaly catch up with him. by scoop on June 19, 2004
  51. Poor One Armed Pete by scoop on June 19, 2004
  52. Have you stopped to consider genocide on the odors that contaminate the purity of your air? by scoop on June 22, 2004
  53. What is it. by scoop on June 26, 2004
  54. The inventor’s latest attempt to build an indestructible woman ended with mixed results. by scoop on June 30, 2004
  55. “Get in there,” he growled, jabbing the angel in the soft spot where the wings meet near the small of the back... by scoop on July 05, 2004
  56. “Duuude, Iiiiiimmmmm goooinnnnnggggg to graaaabb anotttthhhher beeeeeeeerrrrrr, oooooookayyyyyyy?” It was that freaking ghost again, and surprise-surprise, he wanted another freaking beer. My beer. by scoop on July 19, 2004
  57. I grow weary of the current discounts available to me, to us, on several items at local shops and outlets. by scoop on July 21, 2004
  58. An Election Year by scoop on July 23, 2004
  59. The Journey! by scoop on July 29, 2004
  60. Aside from some nagging technical glitches, Werner Beefcock had been pleasantly surprised with the electrical collar he purchased for his wife. by scoop on July 31, 2004
  61. Sergeant! by scoop on August 10, 2004
  62. A voice I never heard before and probably never will hear again rescued me last week while I was taking a dump in the last stall of the bathroom where I work. by scoop on August 24, 2004
  63. You have cooties, you have cooties! by scoop on August 25, 2004
  64. Special Commemorative September 11th Edition by scoop on September 09, 2004
  65. Tad wiped the top of the bar at the Regal Beagle, absently dipping his rag in to the sink filled with tepid water and a few squirts of lemon-lime scented Palmolive. by scoop on September 10, 2004
  66. A short involving several compelling facets of Vincent Gallo. by scoop on September 11, 2004
  67. The oak tree was young so its bark yielded easily beneath the thick, sharp blade of Frankie’s buck knife. by scoop on September 14, 2004
  68. Merlin the Magnificent’s black cape billowed as he strode in the center of Arthur’s bazaar to find out what was the cause of the kerfuffle. by scoop on September 17, 2004
  69. by scoop on September 26, 2004
  70. The third wish god damn it. by scoop on September 26, 2004
  71. Citizen ZDK-2756 reached in to the glove compartment of his Saudi powered flying car and handed his North American Federation government issued ID to the Sony designed cop. by scoop on September 30, 2004
  72. Post-Traumatic Fever Dreams by scoop on October 08, 2004
  73. It was an overcast Monday fall morning when I realized my wife was in league with the mites… by scoop on October 20, 2004
  74. Election Day Special! by scoop on October 25, 2004
  75. “Mommy! Daddy! There’s a monster under my bed!" by scoop on October 31, 2004
  76. WORST SHORT EVER! by scoop on November 07, 2004
  77. Meatpacking requires Meatpackers by scoop on November 08, 2004
  78. Captain, I can't get high off this mermaid! by scoop on November 26, 2004
  79. Protopatrio-sexual fucking ritual test #127A by scoop on December 03, 2004
  80. Fuck. by scoop on December 11, 2004
  81. Dictation. by scoop on December 19, 2004
  82. "Good point." by scoop on December 26, 2004
  83. The Old Timer by scoop on January 02, 2005
  84. Groucho finds out he is dying. by scoop on January 16, 2005
  85. The three cerulean moons of Morktond lurched inexorably toward each other... by scoop on January 23, 2005
  86. by scoop on January 25, 2005
  87. Defau Winston III stared at his reflection in the lens of the government video camera... by scoop on January 30, 2005
  88. Dan and Rajnahish: A Ventriloquist's Story by scoop on February 18, 2005
  89. The Old Neighborhood. by scoop on February 26, 2005
  90. Unfucked. by scoop on February 27, 2005
  91. Food supplies were running dangerously low. by scoop on March 16, 2005
  92. Vicks by scoop on March 17, 2005
  93. What was left of Johnny... by scoop on May 26, 2005
  94. “This,” Dave whispered, pausing with a showman’s instincts, “is where the magic happens.” by scoop on June 12, 2005
  95. You are not a winner. by scoop on June 19, 2005
  96. OHHHHHHH baby... by scoop on June 26, 2005
  97. Poor, poor Mumfrey by scoop on June 29, 2005
  98. Knute's not all bad. by scoop on July 10, 2005
  99. Not quite the Viper. by scoop on August 09, 2005
  100. Hello ladies and germs... by scoop on August 19, 2005
  101. My deformed son is a real ass hole. by scoop on December 07, 2005
  102. Handsome Frederyk Weisensteinowitz skipped jauntily toward his new future, each stride more optimistic than the last. by scoop on December 09, 2005
  103. At first I thought I was being paranoid. by scoop on December 16, 2005
  104. Something Else. by scoop on January 08, 2006
  105. The Book of Rob by scoop on January 08, 2006
  106. The Balloon Man by scoop on January 10, 2006
  107. They were all there to hear one man. by scoop on February 01, 2006
  108. Yes, I am going to kill you, but it’s not what you think. by scoop on February 02, 2006
  109. The Cave by scoop on February 02, 2006
  110. A Completely Legitimate Cry for Help by scoop on February 06, 2006
  111. God Of Our Fucking Universe (GOOFU) peaked his head around the line that spread out before him like a really, really long thing that you can’t see the end of. by scoop on June 02, 2006
  112. "The Last Short Ever." by scoop on July 13, 2006
  113. Disgruntled Customer Guy by scoop on October 03, 2006
  114. You are scared. by scoop on January 29, 2007
  115. Here’s the thing about monsters that most people don’t know. by scoop on August 26, 2007
  116. Sometimes my pussy gets so fucking wet. by scoop on October 02, 2007
  117. Barriers Against the Encroaching Spirit of Power by scoop on November 03, 2009
  118. In the twilight... by scoop on January 26, 2011
  119. The Ultimate Flesh Holocaust for 800 of Your Carbon Based Dollars by scoop on February 17, 2011
  120. We are Herring in Cream Sauce by scoop on June 01, 2011
  121. We are Herring in Cream Sauce by scoop on June 01, 2011