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“You get a lot of pussy here in the green zone. It’s because we all might die at any time – you always get a lot of pussy in these kinds of situations. Also, there’s the hookers. God, I have never once used a condom with those hookers – but it doesn’t matter. We’re living for the now.”

He beckoned for the bartender, a light-skinned man.

“Another beer, rajaa'an.”

“It was a better a while back. Now it’s not so good. And it’s not looking to be getting any better. But listen, the one thing that has not changed is that you get a lot of pussy in the green zone. Foreign reporter chicks are good for it. Tell them you’re from New York and then criticize America a little bit. That works. The cleaning girls in the hotel too. Find a pretty one and give her some small gift. Just something little. You’ll see what I mean.”

It was getting crowded in there. The air was filled with cigarette smoke. There was a neon sign flashing on the wall. “Yep. Sitting here in this bar, you can almost imagine you’re back home. Except there’s just so much more pussy here.”

Date Written: May 21, 2004
Author: Will Disney
Average Vote: 4

05/27/2004 Will Disney: ripped from the headllines
05/27/2004 Jon Matza: Author: as per reader consensus, we are keeping our thoughts about this short to ourselves. Sorry.
05/27/2004 TheBuyer: Um, ya. Sorry.
05/27/2004 Ewan Snow: It does have a good premise and first line...
05/27/2004 qualcomm: first line's a ripoff
05/27/2004 Ewan Snow: Well I'll be...
05/27/2004 anonymous: well wasn't intentional. anyway there's no patent on getting a lot of pussy
05/27/2004 qualcomm: i heard you had a patent on that at RSD, author. you dog.
05/27/2004 anonymous: what was 'rsd' again?
05/27/2004 qualcomm: risd, i meant
05/27/2004 TheBuyer: May I say something?
05/27/2004 TheBuyer: I had this conversation - I mean the one-sided one from the perspective of the audience - on saturday and it made me uncomfortable. Except, in a bad way. It's almost exactly what people high on cocaine talk about in the bars in my favorite neighbourhood when they think you're listening and they also think you believe their stories. For realism, I'd give it a four, but I won't.
05/27/2004 anonymous: give it a 4!
05/27/2004 Mr. Pony: I swear an oath to the Lord Jesus Christ that I honestly don't know what to think.
05/27/2004 TheBuyer: Author: For realism a four, but for how I react to this type of people in those types of places I'm going to stay in the tent I pitched in Camp Matza earlier and not say much more.
05/27/2004 scoop: I refuse to vote on this short, for fear of the repurcussions it will have on my standing in the community.
05/27/2004 anonymous (4): I will, however, anonymously give it four stars.
05/27/2004 anonymous (4): f u
05/27/2004 Mr. Pony (4): ;-)
05/27/2004 Mr. Pony: Take that, Jesus!
05/27/2004 anonymous: no, F me.
05/27/2004 anonymous: These are fun.
05/27/2004 anonymous: what do you call a fish with no eye?

f u
05/27/2004 TheBuyer: You guys are farting in my tent.
05/27/2004 anonymous: no, i mean: fsh