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Jacobsen held his breath and pressed the side of his gun to his face. He was shit-scared, paralyzed by the gunfire that splintered the door and tore a hole in the elbow of his suit. He couldn't do it. The shooting had already stopped, a second, or a minute before but he remained frozen outside the warehouse door.

He readjusted his grip on his weapon, tried to check his breathing, and went over his dialogue one more time - nobody move, noby move, nobody move...okay. He burst through the warehouse door, "NOBODY Muh - oh god" his nutsack vanished into his stomach.

Two men lay motionless on the smooth, concrete floor.

It wasn't Kilner's cold dead stare that stopped him, but the index finger on his severed hand. It was pointing right at him as if it knew that Jacobsen had choked. Next to Kilner's broken body was the man they'd been sent for, lying on his back, arms and legs akimbo bleeding out into a sticky puddle. It was Simon and he was still breathing.


Jacobsen eased his way over and sent the gun under Simon's hand scuttling accross the floor. He scanned the room for movement. Simon looked up at him with his good eye and focused.

"What are you gonna do," he hissed, "Kill me twice, motherfucker?" then laid back and watched Jacobsen's face with the evil smirk of a villan at the brink of oblivian, knowing he'd had the last word.

"Sorry, what?" Jacobsen said, taking the plugs out of his ears.

Date Written: May 21, 2004
Author: TheBuyer
Average Vote: 3.8571

05/31/2004 Benny Maniacs (3):
05/31/2004 Benny Maniacs: A little confusingly written - who shot who, who's good who's bad. Like the earplug but I think needed a little more.
05/31/2004 qualcomm (4): i give this a guest four.
05/31/2004 John Slocum: I think this is related to another of this Author's shorts?
05/31/2004 anonymous: Yup. This is to be sewn on to the back of the previous 2, but I thought it might stand aline.

Synopsis so far: the dead guy with no hand is Kilner, Jacobsen's partner. Kilner and Jacobsen chased Simon to the warehouse. Kilner went in to get him while Jacobsen cowered in fear outside, engaged Simon in a massive gunfight, and died. Simon is abuot to die, and had been dying [har har] to come up with a cool one-liner like a proper villan.
05/31/2004 Cooper Green (4):
05/31/2004 anonymous: This and this may help..
05/31/2004 anonymous: Thank you, masked stranger.
05/31/2004 anonymous: Anytime my friend... Anytime
05/31/2004 Phony Millions (4):
05/31/2004 qualcomm: one time, with one hand shoved casually in his pants pocket, mr. joshua punched jacobsen in the eye, making it bleed.
05/31/2004 anonymous: Dear Mr. Lerpa,
Hello The, your cooperation in this matter will be useful. Please relay the following sequence of events to your "Mr. Joshua" persona:
in response to a phantom blow to his eye, Jacobson staggered around the room, holding the blood in while letting the, "whahappen?"s out. This went on for quite some time.
Best regards,
TheGod in Jacobsen's little, make-believe world.
05/31/2004 John Slocum (4): "his nutsack vanished into his stomach." thanks
06/1/2004 qualcomm: i'm sure everyone's noticed this by now, but just in case not, i'd like to call your attention to the parallel between this, today's published guest short, and today's published author short, in their explorations of how testicles respond to moments of stress. It's fun!
06/1/2004 Ferucio P. Chhretan (4): Again, Lerpa is the Cremaster! Yay!!!
06/1/2004 Ewan Snow: But Lerpy, why not call it a rip off?
06/1/2004 qualcomm: i was toying with it
06/1/2004 scoop (4):