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Tarzan was secretly watching a couple of apes having sex, and, god, it was turning him on. He was standing behind some bushes, beating off. Over walked Jane.

“You’re a pervert,” said Jane, disgusted. She walked off.

It seemed like Jane had a point – at least half a point. Sure, getting off on the voyeuristic thrill of watching sex through the bushes – that was arguably perverse. But the bestiality thing, which is probably what she was really referring to – that wasn’t really fair. After all, Tarzan had been raised by apes. He had been suckled by an ape mother. His first sexual experimentation had been with the younger female apes in his clan. Sure he loved Jane – with her large, hairless breasts and all. But to him, hairy, banana-shaped teets meant “mommy” and “home”.

“AhhhhhaAhhhhhhAhhhhh!” Tarzan screamed, ejaculating, and thinking it over.

“AhhhhhaAhhhhhhAhhhhh” indeed.

Date Written: June 10, 2004
Author: Will Disney
Average Vote: 4.25

06/16/2004 scoop (5):
06/16/2004 Ewan Snow (5): Right on.
06/16/2004 TheBuyer (4): Der Mann parented durch die Affen ist korrekt. Er hat Recht, sexuell geweckt durch die Affen zu werden. Jane ist eine Cunt. "AhhhhhaAhhhhhhAhhhhh" in der Tat.
06/16/2004 qualcomm (4):
06/16/2004 Jon Matza (4): "Ending could have been crucher, but sound 1st 3 grafs."--'Za
06/16/2004 anonymous: is that pronounced "croosher"?
06/16/2004 Ewan Snow: "But the bestiality thing, which is probably what she was really referring to – that wasn’t really fair."
06/16/2004 Jon Matza: Yes, author.
06/16/2004 anonymous: sweet
06/16/2004 Benny Maniacs (5): Having had a really really hairy mother, I know exactly what he's feeling.
06/16/2004 Litcube (5): This is the stuff.
06/16/2004 Ferucio P. Chhretan: Hey, who's point of view is this written from?
06/17/2004 John Slocum (4):
06/17/2004 Mr. Pony (4): The fourth 'graph is pretty solid too.
06/17/2004 Phony Millions (5): yeah baby! great premise, and quite funny. disneian control and brevity.
06/18/2004 anonymous (1):
12/8/2004 Jon Matza: Maybe I should've given this five.
12/8/2004 John Slocum: The ending is a little like 2 of your shorts, Matzo, Fence Guy and 'you want a fucking short, disney?'
07/21/2005 Mr. Pony: This one too.
07/24/2007 Dylan Danko (5):