home authors guest shorts graphical shorts


Down by the river where nobody goes.
There lies theLerpa without any clothes.
Along comes scoop, swingin' his chain!
Popped open his zipper and out it came!

3 Months later and all is well!
6 months later it started to swell
9 months later and out it came....!

Date Written: June 11, 2004
Author: Dick Vomit
Average Vote: 4

06/17/2004 Mr. Pony: Chain?
06/17/2004 TheBuyer: theLerpa?
06/17/2004 scoop: Of course, my chain, Mr. Pony. You know, the little piece of synecdoche that defines me as a person. Dear author, HUH???
06/17/2004 scoop: And if why isn't it LITTLE SCOOP JR. anywhow? Not that I care because kids suck, but still.
06/18/2004 scoop (5): Out what came, Dick?
06/18/2004 Mr. Pony (5): Well, if scoop likes it...!
06/18/2004 TheBuyer: scoop, Mr. Pony, I look up to you as the benevolent voices of reason and sanity, it pains me to do this...actually I can't...I can't 1 star this short.
06/18/2004 TheBuyer (2): fuck it. call me soft.
06/18/2004 Dick Vomit: Jesus, theBuyer...this is just a stupid kids' song. It doesn't even warrant votes. Should I have put the "inside jokes" tag on it? Scoop: out came your weiner. "YEah! YEAH! YEAH! YEAH! YEAH! YEAH! YEAH! YEAH! YEAH! YEAH! YEAH! YEAH!"<--JSBX
06/18/2004 TheBuyer: I know Dick, and it would've gotten away with it too, if it hadn't been for those meddling kids!
07/26/2004 Mr. Pony: Dick Vomit, I still don't get that chain thing--It's not even a clean rhyme with "came". I looked up that word that scoop used, but that didn't help. I suppose the phrase "swingin' his chain" could conjure up images of a free and easy dandy dangling a signature pocketwatch, but that picture breaks down in the second stanza, when we hear about a newborn doing it. Perhaps the child is mimicking the actions of his father in some strange paternity affirmation, swinging his umbilical cord around, just like his daddy. However, I find this image rather bizarre and somewhat disturbing. Tell me, is that the intention?
07/26/2004 Dick Vomit: S'all about weiners. Chains are weiners.
07/26/2004 Mr. Pony: Chain is slang for penis. Oh. Okay. So scoop, in the first stanza, is swinging his penis inside his pants, then? That is confusing. I am confused.