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"No single humanoid is better than any other single humanoid!" With his anus ajar and his panties full of semen, Rick McCork spoke his mind.

"Kneel before me as I declaim that which is true," explained Tildar Zorotaster.

"How about Indian style?" asked Rick.

"Kneel! Kneel!"

Rick knelt, holding his arms out straight to keep balance.

"My ancestors spilled their fuck upon the ancient ones," began Tildar, "whose soiled vessels thrice with semen dripped, whose anus was a flaccid glove whose fingers pointed to the endless stars. Through many generations passed that cosmic gas, and on an endless journey swam that fertile seed. Today, Time itself has found its 'now'. Your asshole is the promise to which all history was but a premise."

Tildar struck a fancy pose, then continued, "Search within your own panties for the truth you always knew was there."

The semen, cool and now pure translucent liquid, dripped down Rick's kneeling leg. He closed his eyes and saw the universe spinning, spinning...

Date Written: December 30, 1899
Author: Ewan Snow
Average Vote: 4

09/20/2003 Ewan Snow: Whoever's been giving this bad ranks is a real jerk. This one rules.
09/21/2003 Will Disney: probably feldspar playing "the ratings game". or danko being an asshole as usual.
09/21/2003 qualcomm: i may have rated this one low, but only cuz i don't like it much.
12/2/2003 Dylan Danko (4): Wow, am i glad i stumbled across this one and got a chance to clear my name. I don't know what Will is refering to and was just thinking as I read this one that I quite liked it. Will, I expect a handwritten apology on my desk my 9:00 am tomorrow.
08/3/2004 Mr. Pony: What's "the ratings game"? What's an "asshole"?
01/20/2005 TheBuyer (4): for history!
Snow, you made a comment the other day about recent short having to be little stories and goofiness is no longer rewarded (or something to that effect) and I'm starting to see why that could be a problem.
01/21/2005 Will Disney: Wow, talk about AcmeShorts SPANNING TIME...
01/23/2005 Pusher Robot: Humans must be shoved.