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How glad I am! It has been nineteen days now. Nineteen days, eleven hours and two minutes, to be exact, since She Who I Once Adored From Afar finally acknowledged my existence! For years I was nothing. No, less than nothing-a vacuum, a void, mere outline in a child's coloring book…and now, even as I sit and write these words, I am filled with colors-glorious colors! Greens, reds, blues and yellows course through me; ochres, vermillions and shimmering metallic hues fill the innermost fibers of my being. She has seen fit to recognize me, and nothing can ever change that! I shall tell the world, shouting out my joy from the rooftops, until my voice reaches the very stars: "Buying Saul Rivera's SuperCockExpansionTM 6-Cassette program was the best $69.95 I ever spent, payable in five easy installments!"

Date Written: December 30, 1899
Author: Jon Matza
Average Vote: 4.2

07/23/2003 Will Disney (4): i keep coming back to this short.
04/4/2004 scoop (4): I am glad this character, this man, is comfortable talking about his feelings. I am envy him, from a distance that is too far too measure.
04/4/2004 Mr. Pony (4):
04/29/2004 Not Lisa (5): This is absolutely brillant. I too would acknowledge your exsistence for that fair fair market price..
05/15/2004 TheBuyer (4):