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"I knew you'd never pull through for me. Duncan always said you were a creep." Sissy Lobula clipped her toenails with an air of casual indifference, though her every gesture was choregraphed to infuriate Tiny Formicci.

Tiny knew the score. He was no idiot. Sure he'd been running with the burnout crowd of late, playing fast and loose with school regulations, but that didn't mean that he was going to blow a gasket on queue for Sissy's little ploy. Sissy would just love that, wouldn't she? Well, he wouldn't give her the satisfaction.

"Duncan is entitled to his opinion. It's a free country."

"Yeah, well he isn't the only one who's talking."


"No." Having finished clipping her toenails, Sissy began filing them. "The Delphonica twins said you were a creep too."

"The Delphonica twins are totally tight, and you know it!"

"Tight or not, it's what they're saying."

It was no use. She had him in a corner and there was nothing he could do. The Delphonica twins could make or break a guy just by farting in his direction.

Sissy wouldn't have invoked them for a bluff. Or would she? Maybe that's just what she was counting on him to assume. Maybe he was in a better spot than he thought.

"You're not cool, you know. And I think you're full of it," Tiny stammered, sweat beading on his oddly hairy brow. "In fact, I bet the Delphonica twins would agree."


Just then, through a haze of trendy shoes, the Delphonica twins emerged, gawky and omnipotent, from study hall. Their gray marble eyes were blank with stupidity and power. They saw that creep Tiny for what he was: a total loser wannabe. And they farted a fart for which there was never a doubt as to its meaning. Though it was by no means "silent", it was nonetheless "violent". There was no escape. For Tiny, there never would be another chance. He was all through.

Date Written: February 23, 2003
Author: Ewan Snow
Average Vote: 3.875

02/23/2003 anonymous (1):
04/23/2003 qualcomm (5): i didn't like this one at first, but now, i totally do
05/23/2004 scoop (5): Delphonica Twins, oddly hairy brow, eyes blank with stupidity and power, gawky and omnipotent, totally tight and you know it. yeah.
05/23/2004 Ewan Snow: Look at the bullshit rating on this one.
05/23/2004 qualcomm: by the way, where exactly in the school is it 'cool' for sissy to be clipping her toenails? certainly can't be in the locker room, because no boys allowed.
05/23/2004 Jon Matza (5):
06/9/2004 TheBuyer (4): Jefferson High right?
12/18/2004 TREE (1):
12/19/2004 Delta Dawn (5):
12/20/2004 Jimson S. Sorghum (5):
12/20/2004 Jimson S. Sorghum: Incidentally, Delta Dawn, what is that flower you have on?