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Jiggily wiggily bungily wungily higgledy piggledy strangely kapoongally, she seemed to say as she walked down the street. She swaggered, she swayed, she shook, trembled, jaggled and heaved. No bosom heaved save hers. The rolling waves of bum-buttocks seemed to siren-sing; they went bunga diddy-daddy hey diddy-diddy bunga wooble wooble diddy hey diddy-daddy. She cut a figure that angered young men; it worried them. They were suddenly aware of something they could not put into words, but if they could, the words would be something along the lines of, my life is worthless, I’m worthless and where did I go wrong, why am I inadequate and oh how I would love to lay my head on that bosom. Bosomy blossomy raspberry-nipply hippily happily slappily bangily bungily strongly rumbly jungly junkily trunkily kinkily comforting cumshot, said her nose-to-ass trail of men on all fours.

Date Written: July 15, 2004
Author: John Slocum
Average Vote: 3.8182

Comments:
07/19/2004 qualcomm: hm.
07/19/2004 Ferucio P. Chhretan (4): My dick runneth over.
07/19/2004 qualcomm: i just don't know. i was really looking forward to this short from that first line, but i feel disappointment.
07/19/2004 anonymous: Sorry brother, hate to let you down that way. I feel terrible.
07/19/2004 Ewan Snow: Well it takes guts to submit shit like this, doesn't it? I *wasn't* looking forward to it from the queue, but liked it more than expeted, so turn that frown upside down, author! Deciding on which sniping insinuation of a vote I should place...
07/19/2004 qualcomm: i somehow knew who this was from the opening line in the queue, i'm proud to say
07/19/2004 Ewan Snow (4): Note that this four vote is intended to insult the author, even though it's a pretty decent vote.
07/19/2004 anonymous: That's the kind of sniping insinuation this guy can deal with.
07/19/2004 Jon Matza (4): Is it Scoop?
07/19/2004 scoop: What's Scoop?
07/19/2004 qualcomm: dammit, maybe i'm not so proud, unless matza's a liar (on top of everything else)
07/19/2004 Jon Matza: OSS: your definition of "lying" brings up an interesting question: is a lie a lie if the liar knows he's lying?
07/19/2004 Dylan Danko (4): Slocum gets the four.
07/19/2004 anonymous: This is fantabulous! representatives from all three monoliths are voting in agreement on this short!
07/19/2004 Dylan Danko: Shit, I don't think Slocum knows how to do italics. Matza?
07/19/2004 anonymous: who's slocum and what's wrong with his italics?
07/19/2004 Dylan Danko: Knew it! No, really I did.
07/19/2004 John Slocum: Ha Ha, OSS was WRONG!
07/19/2004 TheBuyer (4): not 'gingerly' though right! New old fight! New old fight!
07/19/2004 Stash (4): i think like this. love it; could almost be an LL Cool J song. (no offense.)
07/20/2004 Craig Lewis (4): A four spot. Original.
07/20/2004 scoop (3): In order to maintain the fierce integrity of my unilith I have to, I fear, give this a gentleman's three.
07/20/2004 John Slocum: so much for a clean sweep of 'liths.
07/20/2004 Stash: i'm just going to keep coming back here and curl up with the happy-happy-joy-joy feeling i get from reading this.
07/23/2004 Jimson S. Sorghum (4): I didn't laugh at this, but I still liked it.
07/23/2004 John Slocum: Why, thank you, Jimson. I aim to please.
07/26/2004 Mr. Pony (4): Wait, all this from boobies? That does it, I'm getting implants.
07/26/2004 Ewan Snow: Pony, it was ass too. Are you also getting ass implants?
07/26/2004 Mr. Pony: No, that would be insane. I'd look like a woman!
08/7/2004 toobs (3): hardily lotinly grabbily fattingy member of good prose?.
08/7/2004 toobs: please let me apologize, it was meant to be lotionaly.
08/7/2004 scoop: Hey, no problemo, toobs.
08/7/2004 John Slocum: I will own your ass, Toobs. You're going to pay.
08/7/2004 scoop: Boring and stupid, Slocum, boring and stupid.
08/7/2004 scoop: Hey toobs your name sounds like boobs. Boobs.
08/7/2004 TheBuyer: Hi scoop!