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The puss you can land at these anti-war protests is unreal. Now don't get me wrong, you have to bring something to the table. Take me: I'm a good-looking guy with plenty of charm and magnetism. I may dress corporate, but believe me, I look sexy as hell in Armani. I spend $400 a month to get my hair candled and I have my own personal scent on recurring order with Hermes. I've been complimented by blacks on my dancing. And I'm not one of these guys who clear-cuts their chest hair. I leave a little sprinkling, just enough to properly emphasize my fabulous pecs. My penis is eight inches long. It is thick, too, with a nice upward sweep. I have interesting eyes. I brush my tongue. People like me, want to be liked by me and, no doubt, wish they were me. I lost my thread, what were we talking about?

Date Written: August 11, 2004
Author: qualcomm
Average Vote: 4.4286

08/16/2004 qualcomm (4): "My penis is eight inches long."
08/16/2004 Ewan Snow: Author, what does it mean to have one's hair "candled"? No, I don't feel like looking it up on google.
08/16/2004 qualcomm: jenkins' brother used to get his hair cut by an old italian guy who used a candle. i assume that's what the author meant here. for example.
08/16/2004 Jon Matza (5): 4.50001. Like the premise that each smug, narcissistic train of thought keeps getting interrupted by the next.
08/16/2004 Ewan Snow (4): Matza, why don't you admit that this is your short, brother? 4.4999 repetend.
08/16/2004 Mr. Pony (5): I laughed. Four.5
08/16/2004 TheBuyer (4):
08/16/2004 John Slocum (5): I'm on this boat
08/16/2004 Benny Maniacs (5): This is so fucking funny to me because it is me.
08/16/2004 Benny Maniacs: I believe this is an offering from the Scoop.
08/16/2004 Mr. Joshua (3): This is too easy a target...reminds me of something one might see in the Onion.
08/17/2004 Ewan Snow: Well I'll be...
08/17/2004 Jon Matza: Dude, your brother wasted you
08/17/2004 Mr. Joshua: It pained me to have to do it to my own flesh and blood, 'Za; but it just seemed a little sweaty.