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Becky squirmed and squiggled in the church pew. Her meek moans filled the empty space. Her denim skirt was up, her pink lace panties were down, stretched between her cheerleader thighs. Her Keds scuttled around blindly, as if trying to escape, as she ran her fingers around and between her bubblegum folds. She trembled. "Oh God, I'm cumming!!"

God whirled, His great robe swishing open to reveal His fist gliding up and down His divine shaft. It shone more brightly than a billion suns, more brightly than anything ever conceived.

"Me too, you insignificant imbecile!"

Date Written: August 12, 2004
Author: Dick Vomit
Average Vote: 4

08/17/2004 Mr. Pony (5): Yaaay!
08/17/2004 qualcomm: better not let ewan see this - he's so atheist, he can't abide shorts with God in them
08/17/2004 Mr. Pony: Ewan's crusade to purge the very idea of a sky-daddy from our collective species-wide reasoning process is insane, but commendable. But insane. But commendable!
08/17/2004 Ewan Snow: It's not a "crusade" you religion infected drone!
08/17/2004 Mr. Pony: But Ewan! It is a most righteous Crusade! Surely you shall triumph, for you have Good and Right on your side!
08/17/2004 Mr. Pony: I'm praying for your victory.
08/17/2004 John Slocum (3): not so excellent but I still popped a boner.
08/17/2004 Benny Maniacs (4): "Bubble gum folds" jumped out from behind a corner and pleasantly surprised me.
08/17/2004 anonymous: Hey. Psst!!!! Hey, Slocum. I am going to break a stupid bottle of stupid Chablis over your stupid head, stupid. You just try and 3-star me and I will...I will knife you. KNIFE!
08/17/2004 anonymous: Juss playin', muh. Mad love. S'all good. [doubletap fist to chest]
08/17/2004 anonymous: CHOOK-CHOOK!
08/17/2004 anonymous: Yeah, THAT'S WHAT YOU GIT, MUTHA-FUCKAH!!! chook-chook, chilk-chilk-chilk. That's me stabbin' you in the belly, BITCH!!! CHILK!
08/17/2004 anonymous: Yeah! Now you BLEEDIN' mutha-FUCKA! What now?! WHAT NOW, THREE STARS GIVIN' MUTHA-FUKUH!!!!!!!! WHAT NOW?!?!!
08/17/2004 Jon Matza: Hang on a sec. Why did God "whirl"? If he was getting his jollies watching her why wasn't he facing her? If it doesn't matter because he sees all why bother whirling towards her? I'm afraid the muthafucka may be YOU, author.
08/17/2004 anonymous: I grab you by the hair, Matza, and shove an ice pick into your ear. You topple, cough and expire. FLUMP.
08/17/2004 anonymous: BITCHES!!
08/17/2004 anonymous: Guests!
08/17/2004 anonymous: Lowball
08/17/2004 Dick Vomit: Who
08/17/2004 anonymous: Authors
08/17/2004 anonymous: to
08/17/2004 anonymous: happens
08/17/2004 anonymous: is what
08/17/2004 anonymous: THIS
08/17/2004 TheBuyer (4): afternoon Dick!
08/17/2004 anonymous: Oh and god whirled for Becky's benefit. And yes to the sees all thing. Plus, I sort of like the image, mmkay?
08/17/2004 Jon Matza: I learned my lesson, author! In the future I'll refrain from pointing out critical flaws in your shorts.
08/17/2004 Jon Matza: Posted that before your reply.
08/17/2004 anonymous: Shouldn't you be dead? I thought I killed you. I drizzle acid on you, etc.
08/17/2004 Jon Matza: "I'm going to post my short for public consumption/analysis. Only, everyone better exclusively praise it or I will have a tantrum!"
08/17/2004 anonymous: Matza! I am just having a nice time. This not a REAL tantrum. Surely, you know this?! [Totally shoving your body into the trunk of my car right now]
08/17/2004 anonymous: Hi, TheBuyer.
08/17/2004 anonymous: Umm. 666
08/17/2004 Great Satan: Oops. Didn't mean to post anonymously. Sorry. 666
08/17/2004 Great Satan (4): Jeeeeze. I meant to vote also.
08/17/2004 Jon Matza: Okay, guest author. I die in peace.
08/17/2004 Ferucio P. Chhretan (4): Last sentence kicks ass. Don't you fuckin shiv me, author. I'm wound up like a steel coil.
08/17/2004 qualcomm (4): bubblegum folds is a cliche, but the last sentence is woodpile
08/17/2004 Ewan Snow: really, oss? where have you been hanging out? I never heard bubblegum folds before; it was one of my favorite bits in the short...
08/17/2004 qualcomm: well, i've never heard "bubblegum folds" before, but bubblegum itself is often used in pornish writing to describe vag-flesh.
08/17/2004 Ewan Snow: huh. never heard it.
08/17/2004 anonymous: I do hope this doesn't become controversial, but I had never heard it either. Bubblegum, I mean. Bubblegum meaning "beave," I mean.
08/17/2004 The Finch: I haven't heard that term used in that way either.
The Finch
08/17/2004 qualcomm: i'm not finding too many examples on the internet. (here's one). maybe i spoke too soon calling it a cliche. i have heard it though. here's another.
08/17/2004 anonymous: Finch. You son of a bitch.
08/17/2004 Ferucio P. Chhretan: "masturbating to memories of lunches past"
08/18/2004 scoop (4): "affirm/agree"
08/19/2004 Dick Vomit: That's hot, scoop.