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"Local 314, please. Thank you...Harold? Harold is that you? It's me...yes I know you're working but it's important...yes, it's important, Mr. Stitches is using his litter box-...Please Harold stop shouting, I wouldn't call if it wasn't so-...I know Harold, I remember Rule #14 but...Harold please he has-...But-...Alright, Rule #14, I will never call Harold at work again about the cat...Fine, Harold, Rule #14, I will never call Harold at work again about the fucking cat no matter what happens, period...Yes I'm calling Harold at work...Yes it's about the cat but-...fucking cat, but Harold he-...Okay sweetie...Okay, I'm sorry...Okay...I'm sorry...Okay...Sorry...I won't...Bye."
Maureen hung up the phone and tuned the radio, Patsy Cline came in perfectly in crystal clear AM. Mr. Stitches stood in the doorway with the .38 dangling from his paw.
"Crazy..." she warbled, sobbing, "Crazy for feeling.." She wrapped a tea-towel around her head and accepted the revolver. One round last time, two now. Mr. Stitches sat across the table from her, tail twitching.
Date Written: September 09, 2004Comments:
Average Vote: 4.5
09/14/2004 TheBuyer: this week has been mostly pussy and islam so far, this cat's probably Chechan
09/14/2004 scoop (5): i WONDER IF THERE'S ANY RELATION TO BEHEMOTH.
09/14/2004 anonymous: WHAT'S BOHEMOTH?
09/14/2004 scoop: The gun toting, two-legged upright standing giant cat from Master and Margarita.
09/14/2004 anonymous: ooo nice, but completely different murderous russian anthropomorphic animal.
09/14/2004 Ferucio P. Chhretan: Wow, a Bulgakov ref! That's a nice surprise!
09/15/2004 Pix (4):
09/15/2004 Joe Frankenstone (4): We don't need no stinkin' Bulgakov to know this short kicks ass. It's like Larry David meets David Berkowitz.
09/15/2004 Dick Vomit: Part I of this is Robert Duvall's wife in Falling Down. Part II is Christopher Walken in The Dead Zone.
09/15/2004 TheBuyer: Deer Hunter, but ya, more or less.
09/16/2004 Dick Vomit: DEAD ZONE, I SAYS! [kick-kick]
09/16/2004 Mr. Pony (5): Pfineous, I hear can outshoot Mr. Stitches any day of the week. Otto, however doesn't need to use a weapon. Otto is a weapon. He'd drop both cats with a single donkey-punch before retiring to his chambers to ceremonially fuck Fold silly.
11/15/2004 Mr. Joshua (4): I don't know about the rest of the short, but 'Mr. Stitches' for a cat's name is worthy of four stars on its own. That is too fucking cute.
11/15/2004 scoop: Ya. Ya. Ya. Ya.
11/29/2006 Master Bates (5):