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Vincent Gallo.

Vincent Gallo ran his fingers through the dark lanky hair that framed his angular face. A plain looking girl with pale skin and sad brown eyes sneezed. Vincent Gallo saw the girl sneeze through the dark locks that hung in front of his Vincent Gallo eyes.

Deeply moved by the girl’s sneeze, Vincent Gallo walked over to her.

“You sneezed,” Vincent Gallo whispered with his Galloish mouth.

“Yeah,” the girl replied.

“Oh my God you sneezed, Bless you,” Vincent Gallo moaned in a stilted Gallo-like cadence.

“Thank You,” the girl said, a little confused by Vincent Gallo resting his forehead against her own, and saying “Bless you” over and over again.

“Let me get you a tissue, a tissue, you need a tissue, let me wipe your nose,” Vincent Gallo continued, oblivious to the girl’s obvious discomfort.

“That’s okay, really,” the girl said, trying to squirm out of Vincent Gallo’s grip.

Vincent Gallo really wanted to understand what the girl was going through. So he began rubbing his Vincent Gallo head all over the girl’s face.

“A tissue, please, a tissue, please,” he said as he fell on to the floor curling in to the fetal position. “A tissue, a tissue, Vincent Gallo will get you a tissue…”

The plain looking girl with the pale skin and sad brown eyes took the opportunity to get away from Vincent Gallo.

Date Written: September 11, 2004
Author: scoop
Average Vote: 3.7143

09/14/2004 qualcomm: how dare you mock vincent gallo. you aren't even worthy to suck vincent gallo's large, workmanlike cock on camera.
09/14/2004 anonymous: Vincent Gallo appreciates your concern for his being Vincent Gallo.
09/14/2004 TheBuyer (5): (No Gallo)
09/14/2004 Mr. Pony: Was this your inspiration?
09/14/2004 John Slocum: this strikes me as a good idea, but a bit boring.
09/14/2004 anonymous: What a coincidence, that's how I feel about you Guesty!
09/14/2004 Dylan Danko (3):
09/14/2004 Litcube (5): Was this short in black and white?
09/14/2004 Jon Matza: Hold on...I'm all for insulting guests, believe me (and Slocum for becoming one), but "Guesty" is itself a guest-caliber taunt. While I can see the juvenile pleasures of endlessly repeating it simply because it's stupid and irritating, I object because a) doing so is a guest-like tactic (like a right-winger making simplistic, reactionary statements to scandalize an over-educated liberal) and more importantly b) it's a lustre-drainer for the site. Therefore, I really must insist you make light of Slocum's disgrace in a more Lik-m-aid way.
09/14/2004 John Slocum: Also, look at the author list and weep. Look's like Sloc has the last laugh in this battle of incredible wit.
09/14/2004 John Slocum (3): Sorry author, still kinda boring. One-notish.
09/14/2004 anonymous: Why don't you shut up "Matza Ball."
09/14/2004 Jon Matza: From your brother I would expect this sort of conduct, but not from you.
09/14/2004 anonymous: I have an idea, why don't you jump in a bowl of "Matza Ball" soup! Ha!
09/14/2004 Jon Matza: Maybe I will, you stars-and-stripes-fanny-pack-wearing, 1% milk-drinking, Lockhorns-reading fun sized box of Good 'n Fruity.
09/14/2004 Moe-Ron: actually, that's soy-milk-drinking, Lockhorns-reading fun sized box of Good 'n Fruity. etc, etc.
09/14/2004 scoop's vagina: Hi, Moe-Ron!
09/14/2004 Moe-Ron: Hi scoop's vagina! I think i know you.
09/14/2004 Joe Frankenstone (3): I hope you all get prostate cancer.
09/14/2004 qualcomm (3):
09/14/2004 Joe Frankenstone: Sorry, colon cancer.
09/14/2004 TheBuyer: Actually more men die with prostate cancer than of it, so you don't have to hope, we're all probably going to get it anyway.. In fact, the creator/design master of the current most popular and accurrate test has stated that many cases should go untreated due to the fact that a prostatectomy can cause impotence and incontinence and his test was designed to pick up lethal amount of certain trace molecules but has been enhanced to pick up even the most minute, benign traces so a lot of assholes have been needlesly widened by surgeons with good intentions. Have a great day!
09/14/2004 scoop's vagina: *Yaaawn*
09/14/2004 scoop's vagina: Sorry, Moe-Ron! That yawn wasn't directed at you! I'm just...so...tired...*YAAAAWWN*
09/14/2004 scoop: scoop's YAWNING vagina. Watch your lip, vagina, or I'll cut you worse than I did last X-Mas.
09/14/2004 Ewan Snow (4): I don't know about you fucks, but I thought this was sort of funny. Fucking Vincent Gallo..
09/14/2004 anonymous: whatever, Guesty.
09/14/2004 qualcomm: he's a wonderful human being (gallo).