home authors guest shorts graphical shorts

AcmeShorts

“A man’s sense of self worth is intimately tied to his sense of control over the movements of his colon.”

This seems a simple enough statement, but…

Take the case of Jimmy, a man of inimitable qualities. On the surface he possessed the cocksure stance of a frat-boy organizing a series of keg stands. Underneath lay a crippling low self-esteem. Not surprising then that his colon had taken to inverting, detaching itself and going down the pub for a few pints while Jimmy slept. It ran with fast women, capricious women, dark women, women who would touch a man’s sphincter and even stick a finger in to at least the depth of one knuckle. Many of these women enjoyed lavishing Jimmy’s colon with undo oral attention. They would lick his colon clean of excreta and finger fuck one end while stroking the other end with closed fist, pumping it as if they were milking a cow. Jimmy’s colon, in its semi-intoxicated state, would almost purr like a cat.

Date Written: September 13, 2004
Author: John Slocum
Average Vote: 3.1667